I’ve never received mail from a president before, so I should be excited. Shouldn’t I?

To begin with, the envelope was not from the White House; it was a window envelope from the Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. My first thought was, “Oh, crap! They’re increasing the Medicare premiums again.”

But I already knew that was happening; it was revealed along with the news that next year’s Social Security payments will increase by a whopping 3.6%. So it wasn’t that.

With trembling hands — well, okay, I exaggerate — I slit the envelope open, removed the single page, and began to read: “Dear Medicare enrollee [sic] . . .”

But first I noticed that the letter was dated October 8, 2026, and that it had taken two weeks for the U.S. government to deliver it to me. Then I saw that it contained information I had already read about on the internet . . . two weeks earlier, when it was originally announced.

Next my attention was caught by some darker scratch marks at the bottom of the page. They looked vaguely, startlingly, depressingly familiar. And I thought:

Obviously, it wasn’t. As for the contents, I’ll let you read it yourself:

At that point, I wanted to retch. But I wasn’t near the bathroom, so I controlled myself, folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope, and began composing a response. I’m not actually going to send it, of course, but I thought I’d share it with you, just for fun:

“Dear Donnie,

I know the proper way to address a president is “Mr. President.” But I didn’t vote for you, I can’t stand you and what you’re doing to my country, and I don’t think you deserve the respect.

You say that ‘Healthcare Dollars should benefit Patients, not insurance Companies or Government Bureaucrats.’ Well, I couldn’t agree more. But the $90 to which you refer, and which you so magnanimously present as though it were a personal gift from you, is in truth my money. I pay those f*cking premiums every single month out of my Social Security check. And those premiums don’t cover diddly-squat when it comes time for Medicare to pay the doctors . . . which means I have to carry supplemental insurance that costs me an additional $695 a month (it increased $100 last year alone!), and that doesn’t include my separate prescription policy for the five medications that are keeping me alive.

As for any governmental insurance plan, or your so-called TrumpRx, I wouldn’t put my trust in any program administered by your administration. Money just seems to slip right through your fingers and into your own pockets, and as crazy as it may seem, I’d rather deal with the private insurance companies.

Your ideas about rooting out waste, fraud and abuse, and restoring affordability, are excellent. But I would make one little suggestion here, and that is that you might want to start by cleaning out your own house first.

All of that aside, I did of course retain the $90 that was auto-deposited to my account over a week ago. I have read that a lot of people used that extra little windfall to contribute to a favorite charity or to the Congressional candidate of their choice, either of which is a fine thing to do.

I hope you won’t mind, but I chose to take a different path. Since Social Security is my only means of support, and I am rather old and somewhat infirm, I used it to buy groceries. It didn’t buy a lot, but every little bit helps these days. I guess you wouldn’t know about that, though.

Just one thing more: Concerning the letter itself — which I assume you either composed yourself or approved after Natalie drafted it — you really need to watch out for the incorrect usage of capital letters. I take it English wasn’t your best subject in school.

Very truly yours,
A Concerned Citizen

P.S. I just realized that your letter appears to have been signed with — OMIGOD! — an Autopen!! I might have to call that to President Biden’s attention; I’m sure he’ll appreciate the irony.”

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
10/22/26