Forget about CNN’s “Style” section. For newsworthy items not related to Israel, Ukraine, Russia, China, Afghanistan, or Lower Slobbovia, the place to go is directly to their “Entertainment” section. I had no idea how much was happening in the world when I wasn’t looking. Silly me, worrying about whether the planet was about to explode while Taylor Swift and Jada Pinkett-Smith were just crying out for my attention. In only one day, here’s what I found (headlines only; there isn’t enough time in the day to read them all):

Obviously, we start with the lovely Ms. Taylor Swift, who seems to be everywhere these days. According to CNN, she “has given theaters a sugar rush.” How sweet is that?

On a sad note: Suzanne Somers, whom we slightly older folks remember from the hit TV comedy “Three’s Company,” passed away this week, just a day before her 77th birthday. She fought the good fight.

Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith. She says they’re in “a beautiful place.” Separated, contemplating divorce, but in a beautiful place? Hmm …

Pete Davidson wants to find a date for his mother. What?

Stop the presses! Chris Evans is “enjoying life” as a newlywed. Well, duh!

Taylor Swift (part 2) has just spent a whirlwind week with Travis Kelce, capped off with Saturday Night Live cameo appearances. Good for them. (I recall whirlwind weeks when I was younger; but I can’t say I was ever invited to appear on SNL. Where did I go wrong?)

Michael Caine (he’ll always be Alfie to me) is finally retiring from acting. He’s 90, for goodness sake; he deserves to retire. But he says he’ll stay busy with other pursuits. Go for it, Michael!

Britney Spears has written a memoir. Considering the parts of her life that have already been made public, I think I’ll pass.

Taylor Swift (part 3) is “back on the bleachers” for Travis at the Kansas City Chiefs game. A loyal fan is she. Woo-hoo!

“Lenny Kravitz flaunts his maleness in almost uncomfortably sexy new music video.” Right up there with Britney’s book. Pass.

Taylor Swift (part 4) says that Beyonce showing up for her movie premier was a “fairytale.” I’ll just bet.

On the sad side again, Bruce Willis is no longer “totally verbal.” Time does not always treat us fairly.

Taylor Swift (part 5): I told you she was everywhere! This time, she was attending her Eras Tour concert movie premier in Los Angeles. Where does she find the time?

Chris Rock allegedly asked Jada Pinkett-Smith (yes, it’s her again) out on a date after she revealed that she and Will had been separated since 2016. Didn’t say whether she accepted. That’s quite a performance the Smiths have been putting on for seven years; they’re better actors than I realized.

Guess Who (part 6): Taylor’s (I feel we know her well enough by now to be on a first-name basis) Eras Tour film was shown at The Grove, an “upscale shopping mall” in L.A. For the premier, the entire mall was closed to shoppers. I wonder who compensated the merchants for their losses.

The return of “Monk.” A reunion movie will be coming soon to Peacock. It’s one of my favorite TV series, and I love Tony Shalhoub. The movie is titled “Mr. Monk’s Last Case” — I just hope it doesn’t have a sad ending. I couldn’t bear that. Now, could someone please tell me where I find Peacock?

Poor Arnold Schwarzenegger has finally had to admit he is a “mere mortal when it comes to aging.” You’re 76, Arnie. Did you expect to stay toned forever? There is that little thing called gravity, you know. Sorry.

And finally . . .

Taylor Swift (parts 7, 8 and 9): She and Beyonce “understand the power of concert films” (whatever that means); Travis Kelce’s mother says all the Taylor Swift attention “feels like an alternative universe” (whatever that means); and there are five theories why Taylor may be dating Travis (I don’t even want to know what that means).

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Well, wasn’t that fun! And it was all from one CNN Entertainment column — and only the choicest items at that. I wonder how one becomes famous enough to get their name into those columns. I mean, I’ve done a lot of interesting things that people ought to know about. Like the time I sat in the bleachers, freezing my buns off, watching a football game I cared nothing about, just to keep my sister company. Or the time I enjoyed life as a newlywed. Or the day I looked in the mirror and admitted I was getting old. But nobody cared . . . not then, not now.

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I hope this little excursion made your day a little brighter — it certainly made me smile. I think it was the Lenny Kravitz maleness thing that did it for me.

See you next time,
Brendochka
10/20/23