Yes, I know I’ve written about him before, this former President of Russia and current Deputy Chairman of the Russian Security Council. But he just keeps popping up in the news with bigger and . . . well, not better, but definitely more insane . . . threats of what Russia can and will do if the West doesn’t play nicely with them. “Nicely,” of course, meaning according to their rules.

It’s really not surprising that this long-time friend and ally of Vladimir Putin should turn out also to be the Charlie McCarthy to Putin’s Edgar Bergen. Despite the 13-year age difference, their paths crossed in their native city of Leningrad where they had both attended Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) State University, and both later came under the influence of the man who would become that city’s first democratic mayor: Anatoly Sobchak.

Finding a comfortable spot under Putin’s wing, Medvedev came up through the ranks, first in St. Petersburg and then in Moscow, with Putin ultimately landing in the catbird seat at the Kremlin. When Putin was serving his first term as President from 2000-04, Medvedev was appointed to the office of Kremlin Chief of Staff (2003-05); then was promoted to First Deputy Prime Minister of Russia from 2005-08.

At that point, Putin’s time as President ran out in accordance with the Russian Constitution, which at that time allowed only two consecutive terms of four years. Planning to run again in 2012, Putin managed to slide Medvedev into the President’s office for four years from 2008-12, during which his protege would naturally follow instructions like a good little puppet, all the while presenting to the world a face of reason and moderation. But somehow, during those four years, a constitutional amendment was passed, extending the two consecutive presidential terms to six years apiece. So, in 2012, Putin again was “elected” to the presidency, this time to serve until 2018, at which point he would repeat the process for another six years, until 2024. And by the way, somewhere in there he managed to push through an additional constitutional amendment removing that pesky provision of only two consecutive terms. So there he sits, firmly ensconced — since last month’s nicely-rigged election — until at least 2030, and possibly 2036.

Meanwhile, Medvedev assumed the post of Prime Minister of Russia from 2012 to 2020, when a major shuffling of personnel next saw him moved into the office of Deputy Chairman of the Security Council of the Russian Federation (the Chairman being Putin himself) — seemingly a demotion, but in fact an equally significant role to that of Prime Minister. He is constantly seen at Putin’s side these days . . . when he isn’t screaming into the wind about Russia’s nuclear option.

*. *. *

So now it is 2024; Russia is in the third year of its war against Ukraine; and Dmitry Medvedev can be heard on a nearly daily basis lobbing threats at the world of nuclear retaliation against any “Western” — i.e., NATO or NATO-friendly — country that dares to send troops onto Ukraine’s territory to aid in its defense, or in the event any Ukrainian attacks should strike missile launch sites inside Russia with arms supplied by the U.S. and/or its allies. In January of this year, he specifically stated on Telegram:

“What does this mean? It means only one thing — they risk running into the action of paragraph 19 of the fundamentals of Russia’s state policy in the field of nuclear deterrence. This should be remembered.”

Paragraph 19 sets forth the conditions under which a Russian president might consider using a nuclear weapon, in broad language referring to Russia’s response to any attack using nuclear or other weapons of mass destruction, or to the use of conventional weapons against Russia, “when the very existence of the state is put under threat.”

In other words . . . whenever.

In February, he added a threat to use nuclear weapons against the U.S., the U.K., Germany, and Ukraine if Moscow should lose all of its presently occupied Ukrainian territories — territories that Putin has long referred to as being “historically Russian lands.”

And in March, he completely blew out of the water Vladimir Putin’s consistent protestations that his “special military operation” was launched for the noble purpose of “liberating” Ukraine from its supposed fascist, Nazi-led government . . . and he did it in just three short sentences:

In so stating, “Medvedev spelled out his rejection of Ukrainian statehood and elaborated on the imperial objectives underpinning Russia’s ongoing invasion.” [Taras Kuzio, Atlantic Council, March 4, 2024.]

“One of Ukraine’s former leaders once said Ukraine is not Russia. That concept needs to disappear forever. Ukraine is definitely Russia.”

*. *. *

Empires are not built on the basis of a single annexation. Like a billionaire snatching up pieces of prime real estate, a would-be emperor is never satisfied. There is always another piece of property waiting to be acquired, at any cost. Which begs the question I have asked numerous times in regard to Russia’s expansionist goals: Who’s next?

*. *. *

I’ve always wondered — and still do — how a monster is created. Coincidentally, someone recently asked me if I’d ever noticed that the most rotten people always seem also to be the most charismatic, which led me to ask myself which characteristic most likely came first. Did the natural charisma cause the individual to become too self-assured, too cocky, and too aware of the power it gave them over others? Or was the person more likely born with evil instincts, which then guided them to develop the charismatic personality necessary to lead others along their desired path? I don’t know the answer; but look at this baby, and tell me what you see.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/10/24

So much anticipation, so quickly gone . . . much like Christmas.

Unfortunately, I do not live in the path of “totality.” We saw about 69% coverage, which was cool, but didn’t turn our daylight to night. It was a bright, sunny day here, and it remained bright and sunny . . . though there was a distinct change in the color of the ambient light. I can’t describe it; everything — buildings, trees, grass — looked a little bit sharper, and with a very slight bluish-grey tint to the air itself.

Interestingly, my son, who is color-blind, said that during the eclipse he was actually able to distinguish colors. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. I have no idea what might have caused that little phenomenon, but I think I’ll do a bit of research on it.

Since I most likely won’t be around for the next solar eclipse in the U.S. in 2044 — or if I am, I’ll be over 100 and won’t really give a damn — I’m glad to have seen it at all. I’m sure there will be lunar events before then, which are also lovely . . . and you don’t need special glasses in order to see it.

And happily, with all of the hoopla over today’s once-in-my-lifetime event, the rest of the world seems to have taken a day off from news-making . . . which is an altogether good thing, since news that makes the headlines is rarely pleasant. So I will take advantage of the lull and call it an early night.

Sleep well, world. Tomorrow awaits.

TTFN,
Brendochka
4/9/24

NOTE: The following is not intended as a condemnation or defense of Israel, or of any other country or political entity. Nor is it a defense or condemnation of Al Jazeera. It is, simply, a personal statement of unwavering support for democracy and the democratic principle of freedom of speech ... irrevocably including a free press.

*. *. *

They used to call him Bibi. It was an affectionate nickname, short for Binyamin (Benjamin). But you don’t often see it in print these days; now he’s just Netanyahu. And he’s the target of widespread protests in his own country demanding his ouster from office, and of international accusations of genocide. So what has happened to the man who holds the distinction of being the longest-serving prime minister in Israel’s history, having been in office — albeit not consecutively — for more than sixteen years since he was first elected in 1996?

Let me say, right up front, that I am staunchly pro-Israel. From that day in 1948 when it became an independent state, through the remainder of the 20th Century and the first two decades of the 21st, it has been a model of courage, strength, fortitude . . . and democratic principles. It has provided a safe haven for Jewish refugees, and for those simply seeking their historic home.

But life there hasn’t been easy, to state it mildly. Surrounded by countries harboring extremists who deny Israel its right to exist, it has had to fight ceaselessly to maintain that very existence. And six months ago, on October 7, 2023, one such extremist group — Hamas — launched a raid on Israel from Gaza, killing 1,200 people (including foreign nationals), and brutalizing and kidnapping hundreds more.

And Israel retaliated, as one would hope and expect . . . and as any nation would be expected to react: swiftly and fiercely, with the full strength of its military might. And, as Israel has shown the world time and time again in defending its sovereignty, its military might is formidable.

But that was half a year ago. And since then, we have seen an example of a non-proportional response unlike any I can recall in my lifetime. There has been, and continues to be, debate at the highest levels of governments throughout the world, in the mass media, and among friends and colleagues around the dinner table as to the acceptability of the level of Israel’s response.

And now, most horrifyingly, this professed man of peace . . . this stalwart friend of the United States in the Middle East . . . has permitted, encouraged, and taken advantage of legislation that cannot help but remind one of recent actions in Vladimir Putin’s Russia. On April 1st, the Knesset — the Israeli Parliament — passed a bill “[granting] the government the power to temporarily ban the broadcasting of international news outlets in Israel, if they are deemed threatening to national security.” [International Federation of Journalists, April 2, 2024.] And on the same day, Netanyahu personally “vowed to shut down Al Jazeera’s operations in Israel, calling it a ‘terror channel’ that spreads incitement, after parliament passed a law clearing the way for the closure.” [Josef Federman, Associated Press, April 2, 2024.]

Israel has sustained a long-running feud with Al Jazeera, with strong accusations being lobbed by each against the other. And now, Al Jazeera is one of the few international media outlets remaining in Gaza during the war, broadcasting bloody scenes of airstrikes and overcrowded hospitals and accusing Israel of massacres.

Israel accuses Al Jazeera of collaborating with Hamas:

“‘Al Jazeera harmed Israel’s security, actively participated in the Oct. 7 massacre, and incited against Israeli soldiers. It is time to remove the bullhorn of Hamas from our country,’ Netanyahu said on X, formerly Twitter.

“He said he planned on acting immediately under the authorities of the newly passed law. ‘The terror channel Al Jazeera will no longer broadcast from Israel,’ he [Netanyahu] said.” [Id.]

Al Jazeera’s response was quick and decisive: they called Netanyahu’s claim a “dangerous ludicrous lie.” [Id.]

*. *. *

Take a closer look at the language of Israel’s new law: “. . . if they are deemed threatening to national security.” Precisely what does that mean? And who decides what constitutes a threat?

Then look carefully at Netanyahu’s words, accusing Al Jazeera of having “actively participated in the Oct. 7 massacre, and incited against Israeli soldiers,” and of being “a terror channel that spreads incitement.” He then vowed that “The terror channel Al Jazeera will no longer broadcast from Israel.” [Id.]

Yes, Al Jazeera has been banned by other Middle East governments, including Saudi Arabia, Jordan, the UAE, Bahrain, and Egypt, for various reasons. But those governments are not democracies.

And yes, the Al Jazeera channel has broadcast graphic scenes and stories of the horrific results of Israel’s retaliatory strikes against Hamas in Gaza. Broadcasting the news is its job — just as the Western press, and formerly independent Russian media, have broadcast graphic scenes and stories of the destruction by Russia of region after region in Ukraine. That is also their job. And what has Moscow done? Just what it always does — shut down the media, both foreign and domestic, that presented what Vladimir Putin labels “fake news” and “inciting terrorist acts.” In other words, broadcasts that make him look bad.

How can you miss the similarities in terminology? Are we now seeing Israel taking a cue from Moscow’s playbook? What’s next? Will we be seeing people in Israel arrested for “spreading false information” about their country’s military? Will criticism of Israel’s government be labelled treason? Probably not. But it’s that first little step — the shutting down of a news medium whose broadcasts prove inconvenient or uncomfortable to your government — that scares the hell out of me.

And apparently it is worrying a lot of Israelis who are now calling for Benjamin Netanyahu to step down and for a new election. Perhaps that call will prove more effective in Israel than it has in Russia.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/8/24

First, there comes word of an earthquake. Not in San Francisco or Tokyo, but in . . . of all places . . . New Jersey!

New Jersey??!!! Yup, that’s right — the east coast of the United States. Mercifully, it was “only” a 4.8-magnitude, fairly shallow quake, and didn’t do any major damage or cause any deaths or injuries. But it was felt from parts of New York all the way down to Washington, D.C., and there have been numerous reports of something called “Post-Earthquake Dizziness Syndrome.” This apparently is a very real thing, similar to the swaying feeling some people have when coming ashore after being at sea, only longer-lasting.

I also noted that the tremor was centered just three miles from Bedminster, N.J. Hey, isn’t that where Donald Trump’s golf resort is located? Just sayin’ . . .

*. *. *

Second: Typhoons are not rare occurrences in China, but the one that struck Jianxi Province in the southern part of the country on Friday must have been a beaut! More than 5,400 houses were damaged and 1,600 people had to be evacuated; over 300,000 people have been affected by the storm in one way or another. Worst of all, at least seven deaths have been reported there, plus another four in Nanchang Province. Among the fatalities in Nanchang were a woman in her 60s and her 11-year-old grandson, who were literally yanked through a window, along with their mattresses, by the gale-force winds. Another 60-year-old woman in their building met with the same fate. In case you’ve ever wondered why the experts repeatedly warn people to stay away from windows during severe storms, this is your answer.

Condolences to the families of the deceased, and to all of the victims of the storm.

*. *. *

And now, we have the upcoming solar eclipse on Monday. I’m not in the path of total eclipse, but our area should see about 69% totality. I’ve never experienced one, so I have my specially-approved cardboard glasses, and I’ll be outside at 1:30 p.m. I was excited about the whole thing until these other “natural” phenomena occurred in close sequence, and now I’m wondering what (if any) effect an eclipse might have on us mortals. Will we suffer some sort of Post-Eclipse Dizziness Syndrome? Will all of the animals start running around in circles? Will our cell phones stop working? We shall see.

With any luck, Ma Nature will have calmed down over the weekend, and all will be well. But until then, it might be best for everyone to behave, and not piss her off any more than she already is.

TTFN,
Brendochka
4/7/24

Another Sunday . . . and another week without any known movement in the effort to release Putin’s political HOSTAGES. So, true to my word, I once more urge you not to forget or forsake those men and women being held HOSTAGE by the Russian government, who have done no more than speak out against the dictatorial, fascist regime of Vladimir Putin. While they have been forced into silence, we have not.

Please . . . look at their faces. And help to bring them home!

We must continue to use our voices for them. Please just click to share this message on any and every social media platform of your choice. It’s so easy to create that multitude of voices.

Brendochka
4/7/24

A young man — a husband, father, son, brother, friend, and the son-in-law of a good friend of mine — passed away suddenly this week of a previously unsuspected heart condition. And it started me thinking of the unpredictability of life, and from there my mind wandered into the category of what my last wishes would be if I knew my exact expiration date.

But since none of us do know that (unless we’re contemplating suicide, which I most definitely am not), and therefore not knowing how much time I might have left to make plans, I decided to focus on something readily attainable: food.

Which in turn reminded me of my late mother and her very simple last-meal request (which, sadly, remained unfulfilled). She had spent her entire life dieting — when younger, because she had an obsessive fear of gaining weight — and she stayed pretty much at 98 pounds throughout her adult life, which was fine because she was barely five feet tall. And when she was older, and had had a heart attack and suffered from elevated cholesterol, she developed a neurotic anxiety about fats — the kind to be found in the foods we eat. So she wouldn’t eat anything that was reputed to contain high levels of animal fat, such as beef, pork, egg yolks, and dairy. She spurned fried or sautéed food, even if it had been cooked in healthy vegetable oils, because she was sure that heating it somehow made the good oil bad. In short, she drove us all crazy!

But she said that if the time came when she knew she didn’t have long to live, the one thing she wanted us to give her was . . . even now, I feel ridiculous saying it . . . a bologna sandwich. And not just any bologna; it had to be Hebrew National Bologna. Not because it was kosher; it just tasted better. And it had to be on rye bread, with French’s yellow mustard. Forget about a steak dinner, baked potato loaded with butter and sour cream, and cheesecake for dessert. To her, bologna was better.

So why did that one simple request go unsatisfied? Because we, her family, knew that if we had ever tried to get her to eat a bologna sandwich, she would have assumed she was at death’s door and would have freaked out in ways you can’t even imagine. And when finally, inevitably, it became obvious she was not going to survive the most recent heart attack, she had no appetite for anything . . . not even her beloved bologna sandwich. How sad is that?

Ironically, as I neared the age at which my mother had passed away, circumstances caused me to have to modify my diet — not as crazily as she did, but with some minor adjustments. A loss of mobility has also made it impossible for me to stand for hours and cook the way I used to. But I refuse to suffer the same “bologna sandwich” fate that she did. So I hereby submit my menus for my final days. (I will leave the recipes and instructions behind, just in case.) As you will see, a plain old sandwich just won’t cut it.

*. *. *

For the main course, let’s start with rolled cabbages, made the way my Ukrainian grandmother taught my mother and she taught me: with an all-beef filling and a sweet-and-sour tomato sauce gravy flavored with sour salt (citric acid) and white sugar — no lemon juice or brown sugar, if you please. And this dish stands alone; no sides are needed, but some good rye bread for dunking is always welcome.

Next, there’s pot roast. Chuck is my first choice, with brisket a close second, though the latter is leaner and not as tender and needs to be cooked a little longer. Either cut must definitely be braised and roasted with potatoes, carrots and onions, and a rich beef broth gravy. A cast iron Dutch oven works best for this.

And one more: Oddly, a Thanksgiving dinner, the way my family used to do it, because it’s always been my favorite holiday. There’s turkey, of course, but with my mother’s cracker stuffing, my home-made cranberry sauce (I’ll leave some in the freezer), sweet potatoes (no marshmallows or nuts), Brussels sprouts (and green beans for those who can’t stand the sprouts), rolls and butter, and for dessert the requisite pumpkin pie with mounds of whipped cream, but also an apple pie for those who prefer it. I’ll have a sliver of each.

*. *. *

And for dessert with the first two dinners: Tiramisu. I once spent an entire year making the rounds of the Washington, D.C. area’s many fine restaurants, searching for the best tiramisu. I gained ten pounds, but I finally found it . . . and then the restaurant closed its doors. Just coincidence, I’m sure. But to this day, I dream about that tiramisu, and I would love a nice hunk of it (or a reasonable facsimile) to top off those first two meals, please.

But wait . . . there’s more. It is my one guilty pleasure to this very day. No matter how un-hungry I may be, I end each day with a 3.6-ounce cup of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. It must be Haagen-Dazs, and if it’s not coffee, I get cranky. It’s just the best stuff in the world. So why the little cups? Two reasons. First, because I’m too lazy to scoop frozen-solid ice cream from a big container every night. And second, portion control, of course. Not so much for the calorie count, but the excess of caffeine in a bigger serving of the coffee late at night would seriously have me staring at the ceiling until dawn, and has done so more than once.

And there is a third reason: Somehow, tauntingly, I find that leaving myself wanting just a little bit more makes the next night’s treat that much better.

*. *. *

And there you have it: the simple, folksy, somewhat plebeian (except for the tiramisu) means of ensuring that I make my final exit from this world with a big, satisfied smile on my face, and most likely a resounding belch from my . . . well, from wherever belches originate. I’m not in any hurry, though, so don’t rush off to the market just yet. But please do keep it in mind for the future.

Oh, by the way, I always have a supply of ice cream in the freezer. Help yourself to any extras. And thanks.

Brendochka
4/6/24

P.S. To the young man who is no longer with us: Requiescat in pace.

Sadly, there is no more vaudeville, no more Laurel and Hardy or Gallagher and Shean. The days of Milton Berle and Sid Caesar are gone forever. Lost too is the acerbic wit of Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce. What passes for comedy in the U.S. today seems to be the maximum use of the “F” word.

But do not despair. A brand-new style of humor has been born, and it’s coming to us — to the whole world — out of a most unexpected place: Moscow. Yes, that’s Moscow, the capital of Russia — not Moscow, Indiana or Moscow, Idaho, though either of those cities would most likely be a better choice of vacation destination these days.

No, the new humor . . . albeit on the sick and somewhat tasteless side . . . is presented with a deadpan delivery that has obviously taken years — even decades — to develop. You really have to see it to appreciate it fully; but like most good jokes, just hearing or reading the words can still give you a good chuckle.

Without going into too much detail or background, I present to you the four stars of the Russian Comedy Club, and the unforgettable punch lines for which they have most recently become rich — really rich —and famous. Or is it “infamous”? Anyway, without further ado, let’s give a huge welcome to Vladimir Putin, Sergey Lavrov, Dmitry Medvedev, and Nikolai Patrushev.

*. *. *

Vladimir Putin, President: He tops the list for declaring Ukraine’s demolition of Russia’s illegally-built Crimean Bridge to be a “barbaric bomb attack” that qualifies as an “act of terrorism,” and demanding that the responsible parties be extradited to Russia, along with compensation to the families of the Russian invaders who were killed in the explosion. Now, taken in the context of the ongoing war in Ukraine, tell me that’s not just plain hilarious.

Sergey Lavrov, Foreign Minister: In a skit that centered around the need for peace talks between Russia and Ukraine, Sergey told us that he believes China would be the best choice to act as negotiator, based on its proposed peace plan: “The most important thing for us is that the Chinese document is based on an analysis of the reasons for what is happening and the need to eliminate these root causes. It is structured in logic from the general to the specific.” And he delivered those lines without cracking a smile. Fantastic!

Dmitry Medvedev, Deputy Chairman, Russian Security Council: Dmitry managed to reduce me to tears with three short sentences: “One of Ukraine’s former leaders once said Ukraine is not Russia. That concept needs to disappear forever. Ukraine is definitely Russia.” Who writes this stuff, anyway??!!! It’s priceless!

And last, but by no means least, we have the normally poker-faced . . .

Nikolai Patrushev, Secretary, Russian Security Council: They’re just loaded with comics on the Security Council, aren’t they? Well, old Nicky slayed us this week with a one-liner, the punch line of his routine wherein he lays substantial blame for the Moscow theater attack on Ukraine and the U.S.: “But everyone knows that the Kyiv regime is not independent and is completely controlled by the United States.” Omigod! My sides are splitting! This guy is too much!

*. *. *

So there, in brief, you have the new stars of Russian comedy. Or are they in truth the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Hmmm . . . It’s really hard to tell the difference.

Now, that’s not funny.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/5/24

P.S. For a real laugh, take a closer look at what AI did to the Four Horsemen, and their horses.

I have a confession to make: The computer age scares me. It scares the crap out of me.

Oh, I’ve adapted, within the limits of my abilities. I learned all sorts of programs at work; it was mandatory, and in many ways it did make work easier. Of course, it also came with a free pass for producing endless rewrites, being connected on weekends and evenings, and even taking your work with you on vacations.

And now, in retirement, I have my laptop, my iPad, and my ever-present iPhone. And I admit that I love being able to stay in touch with distant friends and family, to order anything I want or need without leaving the house, and to check the news and weather reports 24/7. I even do my banking online, and . . . as you can see . . . I have a blog!

So, for someone who obviously was born at least one generation too soon, I think I’m doing extremely well. But it still scares me, and here is why:

The damned things are smarter than I am! In fact, they’re smarter than most of us will ever be; probably even smarter than the people who created them. They’re taking over the world . . . and there’s no way to make it stop.

It was frightening enough when I first realized that — quite literally — you can run, but you can no longer hide. Unless you turn your phone off, that wonderful little GPS thingy that keeps you from getting lost also keeps you from sneaking around on your parents, your partner, your kids, or your boss. Or the authorities, if you’re into something you shouldn’t be. And even with your phone off, there’s always the chance that some wise-ass with a drone will find you.

Then it turned out that my personal life was no longer personal. Anything and everything I do online gets dumped into a gigantic data bank somewhere — or in some amorphous storage unit fancifully called “The Cloud” — where every vendor, every service provider, and every thieving ne’er-do-well in the world can identify me, add me to their mailing lists, and inundate me with a couple of hundred emails a day, all designed to help relieve me of what little money I may have. That is, if the hackers don’t get to my bank account first.

And then I heard about something called 3D printing. Sorry, what in the hell is that? You say they’re actually printing houses that people live in??!!! Nah, not possible. I know I must have imagined that one. I mean, what kind of printer would you need . . . ?

But I’ve learned to live with all those things. I ignore the ones that just don’t seem real. I delete the emails, first selecting “unsubscribe” . . . which, you may have noticed, doesn’t always work. I don’t answer calls or texts from anyone identified as “Possible Spam,” and just when I think everything will be fine, along comes . . .

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. [Cue theme music from Dragnet.]

Holy shit! Tell me this isn’t real. Well, actually, it isn’t . . . not really real. It’s artificial . . . right? But it does exist . . . in another dimension. And not just on the internet. I read somewhere that there are even AI drones. Can that be right?! Artificial warfare! What the hell . . . ?

So by now I am beyond terrified. I see online (alleged) photographs of famous people, and the only way I can tell if they’re genuine is by looking at the hands and other minute details that AI hasn’t perfected yet . . . but you know it will someday. Soon. And AI programs that can intake a picture of, say, your house and completely redesign it for you. See what I mean? The f**king thing is a thousand times smarter than I could ever hope to be . . . and talented, to boot! If it were human, I’d have to strangle it. And Microsoft has already offered me — popping up on my screen several times a day — my very own AI program.

Now, I ask you: Why in the name of all that’s holy would I want something like that living in my computer in my house? I already have Siri telling me how stupid I am, and Alexa just waiting for me to let her in the front door. My sense of self-worth hit rock bottom three Apple upgrades ago. I’m done.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/4/24

Who would ever have thought that Vladimir Putin could be responsible for making me laugh so hard it actually snapped me out of yesterday’s malaise? Because normally, he is just not a funny fellow. Not intentionally, anyway.

But sometimes — just occasionally — when he’s dead serious, he can be freakin’ hilarious. Like the other day, when he said . . . oh, you just aren’t going to believe this one:

First, Reuters reported that “Russia is demanding that Ukraine hand over all people connected with terrorist acts committed in Russia, including the head of the country’s SBU Security Service, the foreign ministry said on Sunday . . .

“The SBU immediately dismissed the Russian demand as ‘pointless’ and said the Russian ministry had ‘forgotten’ that Kremlin leader Vladimir Putin was the subject of an international arrest warrant.

“A Russian Foreign Ministry statement listed violent incidents that have occurred in Russia since the Kremlin’s forces invaded Ukraine in February 2022 . . .

“The ministry said investigation of these incidents showed that ‘the traces of these crimes lead to Ukraine.’

“‘Russia has turned over to Ukrainian authorities its demands . . . for the immediate arrest and extradition of all those connected to the terrorist acts in question,’ the statement said.

“‘The Russian side demands that the Kyiv regime immediately cease all support for terrorist activity, extradite guilty parties and compensate the victims for damages,’ the ministry statement said.

“‘Ukraine’s violation of its obligations under anti-terrorist conventions will result in it being held to account in international legal terms.’”

And so on. [Reuters, March 31, 2024.]

This was followed the next day by a report from Business Insider:

“Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs demanded on Sunday evening that Ukraine arrest the head of its own security services and extradite him to Russia.

”The ministry issued a statement blaming Vasyl Malyuk, the chief of the Security Service of Ukraine, for an explosion at a bridge in Crimea that Russia said killed five people in October 2022.

The statement called the explosion one of several ‘barbaric bomb attacks,’ mentioning them alongside the devastating Moscow concert hall attack in March 2022 [sic – should be 2024] that killed at least 140 people.

. . .

”Russia’s foreign ministry described the bridge attack as a terrorist act, and said it told Kyiv to ‘immediately arrest and extradite every person implicated.’” [Matthew Loh, Business Insider, April 1, 2024.]

[Pause for reaction from Kyiv]:

I happened to read the Business Insider article first, and my initial thought was that, it being April 1st, it was some sort of April Fool’s Day joke, which would have been funny enough on its own. But then I noted the Reuters article of March 31st, and when I realized this was no joke . . . well, you can imagine my reaction. It was pretty much as I had envisioned President Zelensky’s must have been.

*. *. *

True, the statement was officially issued by the Foreign Ministry. But you and I know perfectly well that no official statements come out of Moscow that haven’t been approved by . . . or even originated with . . . Putin himself. So let’s give credit where it’s due.

First, there’s the idea of Vladimir Putin — invader, war-monger, destroyer of any and all opponents, and himself an internationally wanted criminal — labelling anyone else as a “terrorist” . . . well, it simply stretches credulity beyond any conceivable limits.

Then there’s the issue of that Crimean Bridge: a bridge built by Putin to connect Russian land with a portion of Ukraine that he illegally has occupied since invading that region and forcibly annexing it in 2014. Land that, not incidentally, was legally and officially made part of Ukraine by edict of the Soviet government in 1954 — 70 years ago — when Nikita Khrushchev ordered it transferred from the Russian SSR (Soviet Socialist Republic) to the Ukrainian SSR. Land that, therefore, has never belonged to today’s Russian Federation, which has only been in existence as a sovereign nation since 1991.

And finally, when one considers the blasting of a single, illegally-existing bridge in contrast with the enormity of the ongoing, now-in-its-third-year onslaught and the blanket destruction of entire swaths of Ukrainian territory, including civilian infrastructure, not to mention the slaughter of tens of thousands of the civilians themselves . . . well, there simply is no way to compare the two. And consider that the importance of Crimea to Putin is its easy access to those areas of Ukraine that he has already invaded and devastated: Mariupol, Melitopol, Zaporizhzhia, Kherson, Mikolaiv . . . the southern quadrant of a sovereign nation that he, in his delusional state of mind, wants to “reclaim” in its entirety. (By the way, since Putin brought up the subject of compensation, I hope he’s set aside enough money to “compensate” all those victims of his own terrorist acts.)

*. *. *

Yes, in a sense the concept is comical . . . or it would be, if it were the plot of a Mel Brooks “History of the World” movie.

*. *. *

But it isn’t a movie. For the people of Ukraine, it is the very real story of their ruined lives, being lived day, after day, after endless day.

*. *. *

Perhaps the best way to react to Putin and his latest bit of grotesquery would be simply to treat his brainstorm as the joke that it is and laugh him out of the room . . . out of office . . . and out of existence. If only that were possible . . .

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/3/24

For the moment, at least, I have nothing to say. Or, more accurately, I’m just not motivated to write about . . . well . . . anything. No readers for the past several days, so why bother writing? It just feels like screaming into the void.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/2/24