Daisy (my daughter’s dog) really busted my butt yesterday. She had a bit of a tummy problem, so our walks were longer and somewhat more frenetic than usual. And between a rollator that’s the wrong height (even adjusted) for someone as short as I am, and a dog that doesn’t understand why I can’t maneuver across fields and over curbs, by 4:30 in the afternoon every bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, and joint in my body was screaming at me to just FOR GOD’S SAKE, STOP.

So I’m feeling my age today, and in need of some good old-fashioned sympathy. (A really deep-muscle massage would be welcome, too, but I’ll just have to settle for some reassuring words for now.)

Unfortunately, my search for those words turned up mostly platitudes on a life well lived, or memories of younger days, or making the most of the time you have — all very lovely, but not helpful. That is, until I came across these words of wisdom by the irrepressible American actress Mae West, of all people:

“If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.”

It doesn’t soothe my aching bones, or offer any consolation for my worn-out condition. But it certainly does reassure me that I’m not the only one who’s ever felt this way.

On the other hand, it also makes me want to confront those smart-ass 90-year-olds who are still out there playing tennis or running a 10K, and just slap them silly.

That is, if I could lift an arm.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
11/11/26