There’s so much scary stuff coming out of our nation’s capital these days, it’s rather shocking — and truly refreshing — to find something laughable to share with you.

Of course, I’m talking about the Reflecting Pool fiasco.

All those who are surprised to learn that that nice former Olympian, David Hearn, didn’t cut a 100 . . . 200 . . . 350-foot slit in the blue pool liner after all, please raise your hands.

No one? Okay, good. So we’re all agreed that the entire $14,650,000 disaster was actually the fault of the pool guy posing as a waterproofing expert, and the other guy (posing as an expert on everything) who hired him. Can we now get our tax money back into the U.S. Treasury where it belongs, so we can pay a real expert to undo the damage?

In what must be the most perfect example of total humiliation, U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro finally had to admit that the damage was “the result of flawed installation by the contractor,” when she moved to dismiss the charges against Mr. Hearn. Her motion to the court read:

“The damage was the result of a botched installation and not vandalism as initially represented by DOI. Indeed, USAO-DC could only rely on the information provided by DOI that the damage was entirely caused by vandals.

“A recent visual inspection showed damage throughout the Reflecting Pool, even in the middle of the pool, where a vandal would not likely attempt to peel the lining. Given all of this newly discovered information, it is difficult to attribute the widespread damage to the Reflecting Pool to vandalism, let alone to establish that fact beyond a reasonable doubt.

“It was not until after the return of the indictment [of Hearn], that the [Department of the Interior] provided additional documents to the [US Attorney’s Office in DC] indicating that damage to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool in June 2026 was the result of flawed installation by the contractor, Atlantic Industrial Coatings, and the rush to complete the project prior to events associated with the America 250 celebration in the weeks surrounding Independence Day 2026.” [Katelyn Polantz, CNN, July 31, 2026.]

“Newly discovered” evidence? What has everyone in the world been saying for the past two months? What about the original photographs? This information is about as newly discovered as the existence of gravity.

But let’s just blame someone — say, the Interior Department — and hope that people will overlook the U.S. Attorney’s frantic search for a scapegoat, the rush to judgment, the lies, and the refusal to admit that Donald Trump had bulldozed his way into yet another massive, expensive, ego-driven f*ck-up.

But you can bet that Hearn’s attorney isn’t ignoring the facts. In a statement following the dismissal, he said:

“The Trump administration’s case against David Hearn should never have been brought. Its dismissal today does not erase the abuse of government power in arresting and charging a patriotic American who did nothing wrong. The government’s approach was ready, fire, aim. The administration owes Mr. Hearn an apology.” [Id.]

And I’m thinking that “apology” might be accompanied by a very respectable monetary settlement.

I also suspect that the real perpetrator of this miscarriage of justice will be spending the weekend hiding out at Mar-a-Lago or Camp David or one of his golf retreats, locked away from the probing questions of all of those annoying reporters, and throwing a series of colossal hissy-fits.

But he can’t hide forever.

And that’s the part that’s really funny.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
8/1/26