The world will just have to continue spinning without my supervision (or interference) for the rest of the day, whilst I attend to a couple of personal matters, including a doctor’s appointment.

This one is a long-awaited visit to the podiatrist to find out about that tiny bump on my right pinky toe, that is barely visible but hurts like a son-of-a-b*tch when anything touches it. I’ve been roaming around the house barefoot or in socks for weeks, and will be wearing slippers to the doctor’s office because shoes are out of the question. It’s a good thing it’s not winter.

Way, way, waaaaay back in the 1950s, there was a Frank Loesser musical called “The Most Happy Fella,” probably best remembered for one song: “Standin’ On the Corner Watchin’ All the Girls Go By.” One of the other tunes — not so commercially marketable but very clever — was sung by a waitress at the end of her long workday. It was titled “Ooh! My Feet!” . . . and over the decades it has become my mantra.

Some years ago, my former podiatrist (until he had the nerve to retire) told me that I had the second-worst feet he’d ever seen. The worst pair belonged to a friend of mine, whom I had referred to him, and who suffered from severe rheumatoid arthritis. That gives you an idea of what I’ve been living with for the last 30 years or so.

I blame my multiple pedal problems on those beautiful-but-deadly shoes of my youth. You know — the ones with four-inch stiletto heels and pointed toes that cost a fortune, hurt like hell, but made your legs look longer and slimmer.

Vanity, they name is woman! *

* FYI — and just because I can’t resist a good Shakespearean reference — that is a paraphrase of a famous line from Hamlet (Act I, Scene 2), which is often misquoted and is actually written: “Frailty, thy name is woman.” And it had absolutely nothing to do with Hamlet’s shoes, but somehow seemed applicable here. My mind is a maze.

So I’m off for now, but I’ll catch up with you tomorrow . . . hopefully hobbling a little less noticeably.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
6/8/26