And they’ve all survived the war in Ukraine.

I have to give the Russian government extra points for ingenuity. They’re facing a severe population decrease as a result of several factors: tens of thousands of military casualties in Ukraine; a declining birth rate among young couples not willing to bring children into a world gone mad; and the exodus of opponents to the Putin regime in order to avoid prison or conscription into the Army.

So how do they deal with these problems? Quite simply, they pass a few new laws. To fix the drop in the birth rate, they declare 2024 to be the “Year of the Family,” and proclaim that it is a woman’s duty (and privilege) to produce anywhere from three to eight children — even “encouraging” them to copulate with their mates during their lunch breaks at work. And written into this declaration is a substantial fine if you should be heard bad-mouthing the sexy new program, or even mentioning that you don’t wish to have children. I haven’t heard how this is working out in terms of an increased birth rate; but it certainly sounds as though lunch hours at the office are a lot more fun these days.

Then some genius came up with the idea of attracting new naturalized citizens from the ranks of military volunteers from other countries. A decree by President Putin at the start of the year “allows passports to be issued to participants in the invasion of Ukraine and their family members.” [RadioFreeEurope/RadioLiberty, November 4, 2024.]

Since the first of the year, some 3,344 foreigners have been granted Russian citizenship under this edict, though it is unclear whether that number includes family members. The law applies to military personnel who sign a one-year contract with the Russian Army or pro-Russian military formations fighting in Ukraine. [Id.]

So if you don’t get yourself blown apart by a Ukrainian drone or missile, you get to be the newest member of Russian society. Lucky you!

And who are these people? There are probably a few macho types from various parts of the world who thought war would be fun, or whose lives were so unhappy that anything seemed better than what they had. But for the most part, they’re probably conscripts from places like Chechnya, Africa, and now even North Korea, offered up by their governments as friendly gestures from Putin’s supplicants in exchange for . . . well, whatever it is their country happens to need.

On the flip side, however, Russian Interior Ministry representative Irina Volk said earlier this year that 1,117 already naturalized individuals had had their citizenship revoked in the first eight months of 2024 for refusing to register for military service [id.]. I guess they didn’t read the fine print on their citizenship certificates.

Thus, with 3,344 incoming and 1,117 outgoing, the population number-crunchers are left with a net gain of just 2,227 nouveau Russians.

But with a current estimated population of 144,535,500 souls, the result is a measly .00001540% population increase from this source . . . hardly worth the effort involved in implementing the program.

So I guess they’d better come up with yet another plan . . . and keep pushing for greater success in the baby-making department.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
11/4/24