This is what I usually look like by 11:45 p.m.: hastily giving my blog post for the following day one last read-through, checking those notes, tweaking the grammar, the spelling, the punctuation . . . all of those little compulsions that make me the pain in the ass you all know and hopefully love anyway.

And here I am tonight:

I got nothin’. I guess it happens to all of us from time to time. Even the pros run dry, so an amateur such as myself should expect it now and again. It’s frustrating, but I’ll get past it.

And so to sleep, perchance to dream . . .

Oh, crap! Now I’m plagiarizing! I told you . . . I got nothin’.

TTFN,
Brendochka
6/2/24

That’s not possible. I mean, it was just Christmas, wasn’t it? And the start of the brand new 2024, when everything was all bright and shiny and going to be better than crappy old 2023? What the hell happened to the last five months?

Well, face it — they’re gone. And things aren’t better, generally speaking. We’re still mired in inflation that has us cutting back on luxuries like . . . groceries. People are dying of thirst in India, while the heat wave in Texas was broken by a 50-degree temperature drop and a deluge of hail. China has decided that if their friend Russia isn’t invited to the Swiss conference on Ukraine, they won’t go either. And the United States has a convicted felon running in the next presidential election. It’s a crazy, whacked-out world, and all the discarded calendar pages don’t seem able to fix it.

But . . .

I have found a silver lining, of sorts, at least for one day. Because it turns out that June 1st is a day for commemorating quite a few cool ideas. So paste a smile over that glum face, and let’s begin with . . .

National Pen Pal Day. Considering that no one under the age of 60 has likely heard of a pen pal, let me explain. It was the precursor of today’s email buddy or social media “friend,” perhaps someone you have never met but enjoy exchanging thoughts and words with. The difference is that we used to write with a pen, on actual paper, and send the letters through the mail in envelopes with postage stamps on them. And we used complete sentences, and mostly correct grammar and spelling. But since no one seems able to write any longer — certainly not in cursive! — forget it. This day should be scrubbed from the calendar.

Global Day of Parents. We already have — in the U.S., at least — Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. But a global recognition of the blood, sweat and tears that go into raising one or more children would be a nice thing. Although there seems to be less real parenting these days than in my childhood, so this one is up for debate. If you’re one of the lucky ones who have great parents — one, two, or more of them, of whatever gender identity — then by all means, count your blessings and celebrate them today.

National Say Something Nice Day. This should be every day, but it seems to be harder and harder for people to do. Maybe it’s our role models: actors, sports stars, musicians, journalists, royalty, and especially world leaders and politicians. What the hell is wrong with everyone? I’m trying to find something nice to say right now, and not having any luck. Screw it.

Dare Day. Okay, here’s one: I dare you to find something nice to say. Right now. Don’t hesitate, don’t overthink it. Just spit it out. Ha! Not so easy, is it?

National Skincare Day. Well, that’s lovely. I’m not sure how much good one day of taking care of your epidermis will do, but maybe it will feel so good it will become a daily habit. In any event, it can’t do any harm, and it could even give you something nice to write to your pen pal about.

And by the way, I do believe June 1st is the official first day of hurricane season, isn’t it? Whoop-de-do for that one! We now have six months of waiting for the next name on the list to head our way.

*. *. *

Now, if none of those events move you to waves of rapture, there’s always tomorrow, June 2nd, which looks like fun. We have, among others:

National Cancer Survivor’s Day. At last, something to truly celebrate! Seriously.

Leave the Office Early Day. Wait a minute — that’s a Sunday this year. Stiffed again.

American Indian Citizenship Day. Uh . . . weren’t they the original American citizens? That just sounds insulting.

National I Love My Dentist Day. Yeah, sure.

And finally . . .

National Bubba Day. I’m afraid I don’t know a single soul named, or nicknamed, Bubba. But I’m going to spend tomorrow looking for one. It’s a great name. (Do you suppose there’s really a Bubba Gump?)

*. *. *

So have a terrific weekend, everyone. Pick your favorite celebrations, kick back, and enjoy. And don’t forget to say something nice to your parents. Maybe tell them how good their skin looks.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
6/1/24

The Russians are coming . . . Well, maybe. Maybe not. But just in case, we had better be ready.

Such is life today in the former Soviet Republics of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania (among others). In Latvia specifically:

“In places where once not even border posts disturbed the landscape, earthmoving equipment is currently carving a trench down the boundary between Baltic NATO and Russian territory.” [RFE/RL’s Northern Realities, May 29, 2024.]

For decades, the free people of Latvia have lived peacefully despite the presence of the Russian bear, and its puppet Belarus, immediately next door. Many areas are primarily Russian-speaking, due to the fact that there were only Russian schools allowed prior to the collapse of the Soviet Union. Residents of Latvia crossed the border into Russia without difficulty in order to shop for less expensive goods, or simply to visit. Other than immigration checkpoints established to control a recent influx of illegal emigres attempting to cross from various countries across Russia and into Latvia, there were no serious issues . . . not even after Latvia’s accession to NATO some 20 years ago.

But the coronavirus pandemic and Russia’s invasion of Ukraine have changed all of that. The Baltic nations are once more on alert.

The busiest checkpoint on Latvia’s eastern border is located at Terehova because of the highway that runs directly east from there to Moscow, and the proximity of the area to Belarus. In 2019, a fence was built to block the illegal immigrants. And now, Riga is implementing its “eastern border reinforcement plan,” which will include major military fortifications, anti-tank trenches, and the like. [RFE/RL, id.] Recruitment posters for new border guards have been placed around the village of Terehova.

Many of Latvia’s citizens still do not consider that there is an increased danger of an incursion by Russia — at least, not in the near future. Others, however, are more than a little concerned; they see the war in Ukraine — once also thought to be unlikely — as an omen of more of the same to come in Putin’s never-ending thirst for “reclaiming” the lands he delusionally believes to be his. They know that Russia’s protestations of good will are meaningless; time and time again throughout history, they have proven themselves to be, at the very least, shall we say, two-faced? . . . cunning? . . . deceptive? . . . double-dealing? . . . underhanded? . . .

At the very least.

And so the Latvians have begun their preparations for the worst-case scenario, hoping that it will never happen, but not content with blind faith.

*. *. *

In 1966, the immortal classic film “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming” [United Artists] made light of the very real, very serious geopolitical situation known as the Cold War.

But were that imaginary scenario to become a reality today, it would be no laughing matter.

Ask any Ukrainian.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/31/24

We’re all guilty of it. No matter how much we love our French fries, our chips, and our loaded bakes, we all tend to take the foundation of those culinary delights — the humble potato — for granted. It is, after all, just a dirt-covered lump of starchy calories dug from the earth: a root that requires considerable manipulation and imagination to become even barely edible.

And for the most part, it’s just a side dish anyway . . . unless of course it’s a loaded baked potato smothered in some form of protein such as chili con carne and gobs of cheddar cheese with an added insult of sour cream shimmering on top, all sprinkled with some crispy crumbled bacon and chopped green onion.

Okay, now I’m really hungry! But I digress . . .

So who would have thought that, in a world overflowing with exotic delights such as caviar, truffles, and haricots verts (those impossibly skinny little French green beans), the potato would have been chosen to have its very own day — and an international day, at that? Well, it has been . . . and by no less an exalted institution than the United Nations!

Now frankly, I would have thought they’d be too busy dealing with issues like, well, the wars in Ukraine and Gaza, or China’s gun-toting robot dogs (wrote about those yesterday), or the world’s never-ending ecological disasters, to worry about the humble spud. But they’re not; and with good reason.

Because in a world plagued with both natural and man-made disasters on a daily basis, the kartoffel (that’s Germany’s, Russia’s, and a few other countries’ name for it, though with different accents) stands out as one hell of a life-saving, famine-preventing, economy-boosting miracle. Just ask the Irish of the mid-19th Century . . . or at least the ones who didn’t die of starvation when the potato crops became infected with one of those unpronounceable blights.

At any rate, to honor this surprisingly nutritious hunk of Heaven, the United Nations last year decided that henceforth May 30th each year will be known as International Potato Day. And from the good folks at the U.N. we now know — those of us who didn’t previously realize, myself included — that there are some 5,000 varieties of the incredible pomme de terre (that’s the French name, which somewhat whimsically translates to “apple of the earth”); and that it is adaptable to many climates, making it a vital crop in the effort to combat hunger and malnutrition throughout the world.

Did you know that one medium white potato (with skin) contains a whopping 620 mg. of potassium, 45% of the daily requirement of Vitamin C, as well as niacin, folate, manganese, magnesium, phosphorous, and Vitamin B6? And it also brags of low greenhouse gas emissions . . . though if you smother it with a heaping helping of that chili, you may soon be emitting enough of those deadly gases yourself to offset the original benefit to the environment.

But never mind . . . I digress again, and in a somewhat inappropriate direction. Sorry.

Thus, on December 16, 2023 (the birthday of Ludwig von Beethoven, by the way . . . a bit of trivia apropos of absolutely nothing), the United Nations resolution was unanimously adopted. The leading force behind the resolution was Peru, where our subject — the potato, in case the pictures weren’t enough of a reminder — is affectionately known as the papa. And that country is itself home to thousands of potato varieties as well as — and I did not know this either — the International Potato Center. Not surprisingly, the UN decision was hailed by the Food and Agriculture Organization — of which I also had never heard, but which sounds like an altogether good thing.

And so today we celebrate for the very first time . . . drumroll, please . . . International Potato Day. I suggest we all grab, at the very least, a Peruvian flag, a bag of potato chips, and a glass of our favorite liquid refreshment, and munch away. Somewhere in the world, a potato grower will thank us.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/30/24

He was an adorable little ‘droid, to be sure — but George Lucas’ 1977 visions of man’s future adventures in space were limited in comparison to . . . Well, let me illustrate:

See what I mean? What a world of difference less than half a century can make! “R2” was a cute, lovable, squeaky-voiced little guy that every child in the world was soon begging to receive for Christmas. Whereas “MeShoot” (my made-up name for it, lacking an official one) . . . well, let’s just say that no kid of mine would ever have seen this under the tree.

It is, after all, a pretty scary character. A military “man” that doesn’t need to be fed, clothed, paid, or otherwise cared for — except perhaps for a little squirt of WD-40 in the seams every now and then. And if it gets blasted to smithereens in battle, there’s always the possibility of retrieving some spare parts. It’s far less traumatic than having to notify the next of kin.

“MeShoot” made its debut earlier this month during a joint China-Cambodia military training exercise. It is battery-operated, and is said to be able to function independently for two to four hours. It can move forward and backward, lie down, and jump (which is more than I can do these days, so I’m impressed). And it can also plan routes, approach targets, and avoid obstacles. One of the models was shown fitted with a rifle to shoot at targets — presumably of the human variety. [Mikhaila Friel, Business Insider, May 28, 2024.]

Welcome to the wonderful world of robotics and artificial intelligence. Combine them, and you get:

“. . . a highfalutin’, scootin’, shootin’, son-of-a-gun from . . . Beijing, China??!!! . . . MeShoot-You Die, Joe.” *

* [Parody of “Ragtime Cowboy Joe,” Sony/ATV Music Publishing]

Now granted, this is still less terrifying than, say, the nukes we keep hearing about from the likes of Vladimir Putin and his sidekick Dmitry Medvedev. And it does have its upside, in that it might actually save a lot of lives . . . on China’s side, anyway. But it just gives me one more reason to hate AI technology, and the speed at which it seems to be advancing.

*. *. *

And while we’re on the subject of Xi Jinping . . .

“Hong Kong police have made their first arrests under a newly passed local national security law over social media posts deemed ‘seditious’ by authorities, just days ahead of the 35th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre.” [Nectar Gan and Chris Lau, CNN, May 28, 2024.]

Six people thus far have been charged with taking advantage of the forthcoming anniversary — formerly widely commemorated in Hong Kong — to “incite citizens’ hatred of the central authorities, the city government and the judiciary, and to incite netizens to organize or participate in illegal activities later on.”

Sounds vaguely Russian-style to me. But no, it’s the ruling Chinese government at work. Since control of Hong Kong reverted to China in 1997, this has been the obvious political direction in which the government has been headed. I’m just surprised it’s taken so long.

And now they want Taiwan as well . . .

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/29/24

The “what” is unquestionably the worst kind of mischief, while “they” are the mischief-makers: Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, Aleksandr Lukashenko, Viktor Orban, and others too numerous to name . . . right down to and including old Beelzebub himself. For surely all of those earthly demons must have had a creator.

As I’ve changed my focus a bit this past week, I’ve been concerned that I might have missed a vital news flash or two. So I tried to catch up today, and found that, first, the world has not come to an end, but sadly, it’s still trying to do just that. Allow me to encapsulate a few of the highlights into one article, so that hopefully I might begin the week fresh tomorrow.

Vladimir Putin: What better place to start than with the man we most love to hate — that master manipulator of facts, destroyer of hard-won freedoms, invader of sovereign nations, ruthless obliterator of countless thousands of lives. This week, he took aim at his own military, beginning a purge of high-ranking officers and officials now accused of corruption. Most noted among these are Vadim Shamarin, Deputy Chief of the General Staff; Deputy Defense Minister Timur Ivanov; and Yury Kuznetsov, head of personnel for the Defense Ministry . . . each charged with some level of bribery. But apparently Mr. Putin’s dictionary offers a different definition of “purge” than my Webster’s Unabridged, because he claims that that is a misnomer; this current rash of arrests is merely part of an ongoing crusade against corruption and financial waste in the military. The fact that it just came to light with the appointment of a brand-new Defense Minister — a civilian economist by the name of Andrey Belousov — is, of course, coincidental.

As is the sudden but not totally unexpected removal of the previous Defense Minister, Sergey Shoigu — a close friend and fishing partner of Putin himself, who had served in his post for a dozen years and now finds himself with a new nameplate: that of Secretary of the Security Council of Russia, seated at the head table in the Kremlin between his old buddy Putin (who is also Chairman of the Security Council) and the Council’s Vice-Chairman, Dmitry Medvedev. Yes, that Medvedev: the two-faced, name-calling, war-mongering, nuclear-waving excuse for a statesman who somehow transitioned from the politically moderate placeholder of the Presidency from 2008 to 2012, into the fire-and-brimstone hell-raiser you see today, without so much as batting an eyelash.

All I can say is: Watch your back, Sergey.

And the former Security Council Secretary, Nikolai Patrushev, who had been keeping that seat warm for the past 16 years . . . what has become of him? Well, for some reason that has yet to be explained, he’s been kicked downstairs to some “vital” job “in charge of transportation.” Wikipedia identifies him currently as “Aide to the President of Russia.” For once, I think even Wiki may have been stumped.

And finally, in one of his rare, unintended moments of dark humor, Vladimir Putin himself — in a visit to another good buddy, Aleksandr Lukashenko, presumptive President of Belarus — questioned whether Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky “has the legitimacy to negotiate on Ukraine’s behalf.” He bases this on the fact that Zelensky’s five-year term of office was to have ended on May 20th . . . completely ignoring the fact that new presidential elections in Ukraine have been suspended while that country is at war. Zelensky is still President. [Jim Heintz, Associated Press, May 24, 2024.]

I just hope Putin doesn’t try to bring up issues of constitutionality, because if any stone-thrower ever lived in a glass Kremlin . . .

*. *. *

But enough about Putin. Now on to . . .

Xi Jinping: Ah, the inscrutable Chinese . . . not so inscrutable this time, but right out there in the open. Somewhat miffed at the nerve of the good folks of Taiwan for having held a presidential election without China’s permission or oversight, and of the new president, Lai Ching-te, for calling on Beijing to “cease its intimidation tactics,” China decided that a “punishment” was in order for these “separatist acts,” and thus launched two days of large-scale military drills surrounding Taiwan.

But, President Xi, wait a second . . . haven’t you overlooked something? Like the fact that Taiwan does not and never did belong to China? You say that it is part of your territory, despite the fact that you have never had control of it. But saying it doesn’t make it so. You could claim territorial rights over Jupiter, but . . . come on! Even you can’t believe your own hype this time. You haven’t been eating Magic Mushrooms, have you?

*. *. *

Viktor Orban: On my one and only visit to Hungary in 1990, that country — along with much of Eastern Europe — was in the throes of casting off the shackles of Soviet communist rule and rewriting its constitution along democratic lines. It was a wonderful, hopeful, joyous time under the leadership of democratically-elected Prime Minister Jozsef Antall, and the people of Hungary were embracing the changes wholeheartedly.

But 34 years on, things have changed. Hungary has been a proud member of NATO since 1999. But the current Prime Minister, Viktor Orban, is an admirer and good friend of Vladimir Putin; and a little thing called the Russian invasion of Ukraine has proven to be something of an inconvenience for Mr. Orban. NATO’s members have been consistently supportive of Ukraine in that country’s defense of its sovereignty. But it seems that the terms of the NATO Treaty are somewhat at odds with Orban’s desire to, shall we say, keep his lips within kissing distance of Putin’s hind end.

So now Viktor Orban is busily trying to find a solution to this political conundrum. He said last week on state radio that:

“Our lawyers and officers are hard at work to see how Hungary can maintain its NATO membership in a way that it wouldn’t have to take part in NATO actions outside NATO territory.” [Sinead Baker, Business Insider, May 24, 2024.] In other words, he wants it both ways.

Who the hell does he think he is . . . Prince Harry?!!

And that, dear readers, is the week that was . . . aside from a few natural disasters and the usual domestic political dust-ups. I, for one, am glad it’s over.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/28/24

Author Mitch Albom has written many delightful books, my favorite being “The Five People You Meet In Heaven.” After I’d read the book for the second time and watched the movie (equally wonderful), I started thinking about the five people I’d really, really like to meet in my afterlife, and I found that five weren’t enough. Perhaps I’m greedy, or maybe I’ve just lost too many wonderful people; that’s what happens as you grow older. So I allowed myself an extra five to include some people I never actually knew but would like to, and I made a list. Then I gave myself explanations as to why I had chosen those particular people. It was an exercise that offered me an entirely new perspective on the people who have had the greatest effect on my life — and, in some cases, how I affected theirs.

Obviously, no living person knows where or what Heaven actually is, or whether it exists at all; but the general consensus seems to be that, if there is a Heaven, it’s up. Probably because that’s where there’s the most room for all of those dead souls, or angels, or whatever we become in the next life. In my imagination, it would look something like Cape Cod, or maybe a never-ending English garden — someplace pretty and smelling like flowers or the sea. And all of the people there would be good, and happy, and healthy, even if they hadn’t been exactly like that on Earth.

So here are my ten choices, from last to first, and my reasons for wanting to meet up with them when I take my final trip.

No. 10: Mikhail Sergeevich Gorbachev. It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me that I would wish for a chance to talk to one or two dead Russians — not people I knew personally, but a couple of individuals of great historical importance, not the least of whom would be Mikhail Gorbachev. I would like to start my conversation with Gorby by asking him what on earth he was thinking when he dismantled his country’s political and economic structure (communism) before he’d had a chance to create something viable to take its place (presumably, democracy and capitalism). By doing so, he left the door wide open for every opportunist, every charlatan, every criminal in Russia to jump in and create total chaos — which is exactly what happened. He thus also created the foundation for his own political demise.

My second question to him would be, “If you had it to do over again, what would you do differently?” Not that it’s possible to rewrite history, but I’d love to know the answer to that one. I often wonder: what would Russia — and the entire world order — be like today if things had not played out for him as they did? Sadly, he was a good man, with good intentions, who just didn’t get it quite right.

No. 9: Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Lenin). Vladimir Lenin may seem an odd choice for my list, since it’s not clear to me that a mass-murdering despot would ever have made it into Heaven in the first place. But he’s the guy who started it all, so I’d really like to chat with him. Therefore, on the off-chance that he may at the last moment have repented his sins, and that his repentance was sufficient to have earned him admittance through the Pearly Gates, I imagine asking him this: Why — since his initial aim was allegedly to rescue the Russian people by ridding them of the tyrannical rule of the Tsars — did he then feel compelled to become the worst possible version of himself . . . far worse than Nicholas II, the Tsar he had so cruelly overthrown? Or was he simply an inherently evil individual with a good sales pitch?

And while I was at it, I would like to ask him to autograph the portrait of him that has been hanging above the desk in my den since 1993 — the one I smuggled out of Moscow in my suitcase after buying it from a Russian government official who had undoubtedly stolen it from some government facility specifically to sell it to me for $50 U.S. money. This, of course, is on the assumption that I will have been allowed to bring that prized possession into Heaven with me — along with (I would hope) some family photos, a couple of favorite books, my iPad, and a big bag of M&Ms.

No. 8: Abraham Lincoln. Talk about a 180-degree turn-around — from Lenin to Lincoln! There would be so much to discuss with this remarkable man, whose portrait looks for all the world as though he was envisioning his own demise. Or perhaps he was just unbearably sad at the state of the world. If so, it’s a good thing he can’t see it as it is today . . . or perhaps he can.

I would first ask him whether he regrets, or ever regretted, issuing the Emancipation Proclamation, in view of the turmoil that followed . . . and which, to a different degree, continues to this day. And I would like to know whether he issued that Proclamation as a result of his firm belief in the inherent equality of all people, or for the more pragmatic purpose of hopefully bringing an end to the Civil War and preventing a permanent dissolution of the Union. Or, more likely, both.

The one question I would not ask is the one that has become a meme of sorts — and a sick one at that: “Other than that, Mr. Lincoln, how was the show?” Not cool. Not cool at all.

No. 7: Marilyn Lewis. One of the Golden Girls — my Golden Girls, not the ones on TV. We were five women who worked together and became BFFs, then brought my sister into the fold making it an even half dozen. Marilyn was the mother to all of us; not because she was the oldest (she wasn’t), but because she was by nature an Earth Mother — loving, nurturing, at once a tower of strength and an incurable softie — caring for her own family, her friends, and everyone she met who needed a hug or a helping hand. She exuded warmth and a joy of living that was contagious. I would have no questions to ask of her; I would simply tell her how happy I was to see her again, and then move in for one of those huge, heavenly hugs.

No. 6: Dora Lipson. My mother. At once a smart, attractive, honest, hard-working, practical, sometimes funny woman; but also an insecure, jealous, controlling, possessive, manipulative one. I would first want to determine whether she had shed the negative traits and retained the positive ones, as I would hope we all have a chance to do in Heaven. And then I would want to ask whether she had been aware of the effect those negative qualities had on her family and friends. And I would wait for an apology.

Then I would forgive her — because that’s what you do in Heaven — and I would begin making up for lost time, perhaps by mixing up a pitcher of her favorite whiskey sours and sitting down at the piano with her to play one of her favorite duets. She loved the “Poet and Peasant Overture” — but, as always, she would want to play the melody while I got stuck with the rhythm part. Oh, well . . . baby steps, even in Heaven.

No. 5: Rose Swartz. My maternal grandmother: my Bubbe. Always there, always ready with a bit of old-world wisdom, a lecture, a word of encouragement, something to eat . . . or all of the above. A steady, loving, non-judgmental presence in my early life, she brought comfort when it was needed and gentle discipline when it was called for. And the best food I have ever eaten, even to this day. Of her I would ask for stories of what her life had been like in the old country (Ukraine), and how she and my Zaide (grandfather) had managed to come to the United States and make new lives for themselves here.

I would also like to know what her maiden name (Goldman) and married name (Swartz) were originally, back in Ukraine, before the Immigration folks in America mangled them into something more pronounceable here.

And then I would ask: “What’s for dinner?” Given a choice, it would be her rolled cabbages (golubtsi), or pot roast with potato latki, and maybe some blueberry varenniki for dessert, and later a midnight snack of rugelach filled with raisins and walnuts and cinnamon, and a cup of tea. I’ll bring the Pepto Bismol, since my digestive system isn’t what it used to be; but it will be well worth it. Or maybe indigestion doesn’t exist in Heaven. That would be really nice!

No. 4: Emily Ross Taggart. My beloved granddaughter. In my imaginary Heaven, Emily has cast off her physical challenges and become whole, enabling her finally to be the beautiful, healthy, active, happy-go-lucky girl she should have been on Earth. Her brilliant mind and huge heart led her to do so much good for so many during her short time in this world; hopefully, she has been able to carry that over into her second life.

I would have only one question for my Emily: “Are you happy?”

I love you and miss you, my sweet girl.

No. 3: Merna Lipson. I’ve already devoted an entire chapter to my sister, so you know that she was my best friend and stalwart confidante. But I would first tell her that I’m sorry about so many things: about the years we spent arguing instead of fully enjoying one another; about tarnishing her perfect school reputation with my mischief and misbehavior; and mostly about not being able to ease the suffering of her last illness.

As for all the times I embarrassed her in public by fainting, or shooting off my big mouth, I have only this to say: Sorry, not sorry. Had to do it.

And then I would ask her if she’s made our reservations at the spa, and reserved our tickets to Les Miz. This is, after all, Heaven . . . right?

No. 2: Walter Sterling Surrey. Where do I begin with this man who had unquestionably the greatest influence on the second half of my life? His accomplishments were legion: brilliant attorney; former member of the OSS during World War II; principal draftsman of the Marshall Plan and the NATO Treaty; advisor and confidant to heads of state and corporate leaders; and father figure to so many, myself included. For me, he opened up a whole new world of international relations, history, and intrigue.

I would have so many questions for him — far too many to list here. But there are three that are foremost in my mind:

1) How would you fix the current problems with Russia, China, North Korea, Iran, India . . . ? Okay, that’s a multitude of questions, but you can’t fix one without the others.

2) Do you think I did the right thing in 1993 when I agreed to help the two KGB officers defect to the United States? and

3) What was the origin of your nickname “Dink”? You trusted me with everything else, but never that.

See you later, Walter.

*. *. *

And finally . . .

No. 1: Robin Williams. Because I just want to exit this life, and enter the next one, laughing my ass off. And this is the guy who could do it for me.

That’s all.

TTFN,
Brendochka
5/27/24

Yet another Sunday has rolled around without any of Vladimir Putin’s HOSTAGES having been released. But this week has given us news of another variety of victims of Putin’s Purges: those high-ranking military officials suspected of the all-encompassing crime of “corruption”: bribe-taking, favoritism, outright theft, and the like.

These cases are different from the purely political arrests of dissidents and others opposed to the current regime. These individuals may actually be guilty of real crimes . . . although in three notable cases nothing has yet been proven, nor have trial dates been set. And once they are brought before a court (presumably, in their cases, a military court), the verdict is almost a foregone conclusion: in Russia, once charged, you can pretty much count on being adjudged as guilty.

The three we’re talking about have been in charge of various aspects of Putin’s ongoing invasion of Ukraine: Vadim Shamarin, Deputy Chief of the General Staff; Deputy Defense Minister Timur Ivanov; and Yury Kuznetsov, head of personnel for the Defense Ministry. (And not incidentally, the Defense Minister himself — Sergei Shoigu — was removed from his post, though he did land another cushy job as consolation.)

All three of the unfortunate arrestees have been charged with various levels of bribery. And it is reported that they are not alone; similar charges have been leveled against other members of the military. Yet the Kremlin, not surprisingly, insists that this cannot be labeled a “purge.” To them, it is merely the government’s ongoing crusade against corruption and financial “waste” — in these cases, specifically focused on the military.

Too bad they didn’t start closer to home, right there on the doorstep of the Kremlin itself.

*. *. *

But let us not forget the true HOSTAGES, still wasting away in various Russian prisons and penal colonies for the simple act of disagreeing with Vladimir Putin’s excessively onerous edicts. It is for them that this regular Sunday posting is written.

And so, once more: To those known . . .

Vladimir Kara-Murza – HOSTAGE
Evan Gershkovich – HOSTAGE
Paul Whelan – HOSTAGE
Ilya Yashin – HOSTAGE
Robert Woodland Romanov – HOSTAGE
Boris Akunin – HOSTAGE
Marc Hilliard Fogel – HOSTAGE
Asya Kazantseva – HOSTAGE
Ilya Barabanov – HOSTAGE
Alsu Kurmasheva – HOSTAGE
Aleksandr Skobov – HOSTAGE
Antonina Favorskaya – HOSTAGE
Oleg Orlov – HOSTAGE
Boris Kagarlitsky – HOSTAGE
Oleg Navalny – HOSTAGE
Ksenia Karelina – HOSTAGE
Ksenia Fadeyeva – HOSTAGE
Lilia Chanysheva – HOSTAGE
Vadim Ostanin – HOSTGE
Sergei Udaltsov – HOSTAGE
Konstantin Gabov – HOSTAGE
Danuta Perednya – HOSTAGE
Olesya Krivtsova – HOSTAGE

. . . and those hundreds of others whose names remain unknown to me . . . you are not forgotten, nor have you been abandoned. The fight continues on your behalf.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/26/24

Today, May 26th, is National Paper Airplane Day! I’ll bet you didn’t know that . . . and neither did I, until I consulted my list of “holidays-most-people-aren’t-even-aware-of.” It’s not a holiday when the banks are closed and you get a day off from work; but this year it falls on a Sunday, so most of us are free to celebrate anyway.

So why not channel your inner origami-ite and start folding? There must be some spare paper somewhere around the house . . . and for whatever reason, folding paper seems to be more fun than folding laundry.

Or, for the uncoordinated or the simply uninterested, you could just hunker down in front of the TV, or with a good book. No pressure . . . as I said, it’s Sunday. Enjoy.

TTFN,
Brendochka
5/26/24

“No good deed goes unpunished.” – Oscar Wilde? Walter Winchell? Clare Boothe Luce? Anyone?

*. *. *

It has been nearly a year since the world went on a search for Yevgeny Prigozhin, longtime friend and confidant of Vladimir Putin and founder and head of the Russian “Wagner Group” of mercenaries. And I followed the progress of that search with posts titled “Where’s Yevgeny?” – Parts 1 through 7. First he was in Rostov; then in Belarus; then in St. Petersburg; then there was a sighting, however brief, in Moscow.

And then he was dead, the victim — along with nine others — of a fiery plane crash near a place called Kuzhenkino, just 60 miles north of Moscow. But there were the inevitable questions as to whether he was actually on that private plane. And finally his remains were identified — or so they said — and he was buried by his family in a private ceremony in St. Petersburg, next to his father’s grave.

But the legendary Prigozhin refused to die . . . in memory, at least. Because despite the Kremlin’s repeated pronouncements that the plane crash that took his life had been “accidental” — due either to mechanical fault or pilot error or some such nonsense — not many people really believed it. You see, Yevgeny — for all the years of friendship and loyalty to Putin — had recently staged a revolt. Not so much against Putin himself, but against the Russian military and the rampant corruption he had witnessed while serving with them in Ukraine. The revolt failed, Yevgeny disappeared for a while, and when he resurfaced, he was no longer Putin’s best friend. But he was alive . . . for a few months, at least, until that fatal day in August of 2023. And then he wasn’t.

Few people were surprised; everyone knows how touchy Vladimir Putin can be.

*. *. *

All of that took place less than a year ago. And during the past couple of weeks, we have witnessed the removal from office of the long-time Russian Minister of Defense, General Sergei Shoigu, and his replacement by a civilian economist, Andrey Belousov . . . followed almost immediately by the arrest of a number of top military officers and officials on charges of . . . anyone care to guess? . . . Do I hear “corruption”? If so, you’re absolutely correct. The latest was Vadim Shamarin, Deputy Chief of the General Staff, on charges of large-scale bribery-taking. His arrest was preceded within the last month by those of Deputy Defense Minister Timur Ivanov and the Ministry’s head of personnel, Yury Kuznetsov, both also on bribery charges. (To date, General Valery Gerasimov, Chief of the General Staff and Shamarin’s boss, still has his job; but I wouldn’t put money on his long-term prospects.)

Aleksandr Khramchikhin, Deputy Director of the Moscow-based Institute for Political and Military Analysis, said that “It’s a real fight against corruption. In wartime, money must be spent correctly.” [AFP News, May 23, 2024.]

(Oh-oh . . . he called it a “war.” I hope he’s not next.)

He added that “the Kremlin has long ‘understood’ that its military spending is ‘inefficient.’ ‘But it became too obvious in wartime to turn a blind eye to it.’” [AFP, id.]

(And there’s that word again. I do hope he’s all right.)

Even my favorite cutie in the Kremlin, spokesman Dmitry Peskov, had a few words to say (as always), denying that the arrests constitute a purge of the military:

“The fight against corruption is an ongoing effort. It is not a campaign. It is an integral part of the activities of law enforcement agencies.”

And if it came from the lips of my boy Dima, then of course it must be true. Right? Of course, right.

*. *. *

But what does all of this have to do with the late and not-so-great Yevgeny Prigozhin? Well . . . vindication, of course! Because isn’t “corruption” what he had been shouting from the rooftops for ages? And when no one listened, isn’t that why he gathered his troops and staged a march from Rostov toward Moscow: to make them listen? And isn’t that what, ultimately, he died for?

And now, suddenly, it has “[become] too obvious in wartime to turn a blind eye to it.”

Well . . . no shit, Sherlock! Welcome to reality.

In all honesty, Yevgeny, I didn’t have much use for you when you were alive. You were a murdering, thieving, violent, hateful . . . okay, just leave it at that. But you were right about the Russian military; and you tried to do the right thing in calling it to Putin’s attention, even if not for the right reason. And for that, I’m sorry you failed, and I’m sorry you’re not alive to take pleasure in being proven right. Perhaps it will be of some consolation to your surviving family that you have at last been vindicated.

So rest in peace, Yevgeny Prigozhin. You tried.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/25/24