* Petard: A small cone-shaped or rectangular metal bomb filled with gunpowder used in 16th-century warfare to blow up doors, gates or walls.

If only Donald Trump would read, he might save himself from making a lot of really stupid mistakes. And I would advise him to start with . . . well, first, the U.S. Constitution and the Holy Bible (both Testaments, please) . . . but then proceed directly to Shakespeare.

For example, there is Hamlet. Everyone has heard of it, but not everyone has had the patience or the desire to read it. Admittedly, the old English vocabulary and writing style are not easy. But it is filled with duplicitous schemes, double-crosses, triple-crosses, murder most foul, people hiding behind curtains, and a couple of characters named Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, who — though their names sound like a 1920s New York vaudeville act — themselves die in a double-cross by the self-same Hamlet in the act of saving himself from a plot by Claudius . . . And so on.

Good stuff, huh?

The Bard gave us so many sayings and expressions that have become everyday parts of the English lexicon, such as when — also in Hamlet — Polonius tells his son, Laertes:

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
– Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Excellent advice, to be sure. But oh, the irony! Later in the tragedy, Hamlet kills Polonius; Laertes challenges Hamlet to a duel, wherein he uses a poison-tipped sword with which to kill Hamlet in revenge for his father’s death; the swords somehow get switched; and Laertes is killed when he is jabbed by his own sword . . . thus becoming the victim of his own evil scheme: that is, “hoisted with his own [metaphorical] petard.”

And Hamlet, later having a chat with his mother, has this to say — obviously not only exhibiting a total lack of remorse, but indeed plotting further mischief:

“Whom I will trust as I will adders fanged,
They bear the mandate; they must sweep my way
And marshal me to knavery. Let it work,
For ‘tis the sport to have the engineer
Hoist with his own petard; and ‘t shall go hard
But I will delve one yard below their mines
And blow them at the moon. O, tis most sweet
When in one line two crafts directly meet.”
– Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene 4

The ultimate triple-cross. Beautiful!

It gets even more complicated than that, because apparently Laertes doesn’t die immediately (picture Arnold Schwarzenegger bellowing “I’m ba-a-a-ack!”), and somehow Hamlet is also killed by a poison-tipped sword, his mother is done in, and . . . well, you get the idea. It’s a bloodbath.

For those who haven’t read Shakespeare but are now tempted by my descriptions, there is actually a “Shakespeare for Dummies” to get you started before you delve into the real thing. His plays really are rip-roaring nail-biters that put Agatha Christie, Stephen King, and J.K. Rowling in the shade.

*. *. *

“But what?” — I hear you ask — “does any of this have to do with Donald Trump?” Well, other than to point out what he’s been missing all these years by remaining under-educated, it is also a cautionary tale for his future, as well as the futures of his many sycophants and followers, as they continue on their mad rampage of destruction and revenge against nearly everyone — apparently overlooking the possibility that their victims or their heirs might one day decide to turn the tables.

Basically, it tells us that . . . well, let’s see now: “Revenge is sweet”; “what goes around comes around”; “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”; and the ever-popular, “look out for the guy behind the curtain!”

And I would throw in this one — a play on the famous words of Paul Revere (according to Longfellow’s poem) as he warned that the British troops were on their way:

“The Democrats are coming! The Democrats are coming!”

One final thought: In accordance with 18 U.S.C. Sec. 2381, there is no statute of limitations on treason in the United States.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/25/26