And this monkey business has nothing to do with politics, for a change. It does, however, have everything to do with real monkeys: 43 female rhesus macaques who escaped last week when someone apparently failed to latch a door to their enclosure at the Alpha Genesis Primate Research Center in Yemassee, South Carolina.

And given that the Research Center had bred the precious primates for sale to medical and other research facilities, I don’t blame them for taking a powder. I only wonder why the other seven monkeys . . . well . . . chickened out.

But it turned out that the 43 escapees didn’t go far. One was captured fairly quickly, in a tree-filled area outside the facility’s perimeter fence. The rest were spotted in the same region, but eluded capture for several more days. They are agile little critters, after all.

And while at liberty, they were said to be “engaging with those still inside by cooing to them,” according to the Yemassee Police Department. [Hilary Hanson, HuffPost, November 9, 2024.] Whether they were trying to convince the others to join them in their treetop hangout, no one knows for sure; but I’m guessing that “cooing” was actually a chorus of “Hit the Road, Jack.”

However, these savvy simians know what side their bread is peanut-buttered on. By staying close to home, they ensured that their keepers would continue feeding them, while still being at liberty to jump and swing and climb to their hearts’ content. [Bill Hutchinson, ABC News, November 10, 2024.]

As of yesterday, 24 more — a total of 25 — had been caught and brought back into their group home, with 18 more still at large. [Id.]

And I am bummed, because I wanted those gals to make a clean getaway. All I need to hear about any animal is that “they’re being bred for medical research,” and I go ballistic.

Yes, I know that medical research is vital. And yes, I realize that there are different types of research. But I envision myself in the place of one of those adorable, hairy humanoids, and my first instinct is to run like hell too.

(Actually, that’s my second instinct. The first is to chomp down on the arm of the guy with the hypodermic needle.)

Experimentation of any kind has its risks, and these animals — in fact, all animals — deserve better.

There has to be another way.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
11/11/24