A brief item in CNN’s “5 Things” column on Sunday caught my eye, because it actually sounded like good news. It’s brief, so let me quote it in full:

“Following last year’s mass shooting at Michigan State University and the Oxford High School shooting that occurred in 2021, new gun safety laws will go into effect in Michigan on Tuesday — including a law that says all firearms in homes with minors must be securely stored with a gun lock or in a safe.”

Well, that’s good, right? Yes, but . . .

My next thought was to question how that might be enforced. Unfortunately, the answer was, “After the fact.” Because this is the United States, and without just cause to suspect that a crime is being or is about to be committed, or without a legal search warrant, our authorities can’t just randomly go charging into people’s homes to check out their weapons storage. So the effect of the new law would seem to be holding the gun owner(s) responsible if and when one of their weapons is used by their offspring or other minor in the commission of a crime . . . say, for example, when Junior goes bonkers and shoots up his school because the girl he likes turned down his invitation to the prom. (In my day, he would simply have spray-painted something nasty on her school locker . . . but times have changed.)

Naturally, I followed the link to the new Michigan law itself, where I found both good and bad news. Good news first: The owner of an improperly stored gun is guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment of not more than 93 days and/or a fine of not more than $500 if a minor obtains the firearm and possesses or exhibits it in a public place or in the presence of another person in a careless, reckless or threatening manner. Appropriately, the charge becomes a felony if the minor uses the weapon to wound or kill another person or persons, with proportionally increasing penalties (imprisonment and/or fine) for the gun’s owner(s).

Okay, that is good: Parents, and other adults, will now be held responsible if they’re careless with their weapons and kids get hold of them. But . . .

Incredibly, the law goes on to state:

“Penalties will not be imposed under Michigan’s safe storage law in the following circumstances:

If the minor:

(1) Obtains a firearm with the permission of the minor’s parent or guardian,

(2) Uses or possesses the firearm while under the supervision of the minor’s parent, guardian, or any individual who is 18 years of age or older and who is authorized by the minor’s parent or guardian, and

(3) Uses or possesses the firearm during (a) the minor’s employment, (b) ranching or farming, or (c) target practice or instruction in the safe use of a firearm.

If the minor obtains a firearm with the permission of the minor’s parent or guardian, and uses the firearm for the purposes of hunting and the minor is in compliance with all applicable hunting laws.

If the minor obtains a firearm through the minor’s unlawful entry of any premises or a motor vehicle where the firearm has been stored.

If the minor obtains a firearm while lawfully acting in self-defense or defense of another.”

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!

Am I reading this correctly? Really?? Because what I’m seeing is that you’re responsible if you don’t lock up your gun and your kid takes it when you’re not looking. But it’s perfectly all right for you to just hand it over and trust this scrawny, immature bundle of nerves and hormones — whose frontal lobe is still a decade away from being fully developed — to do the right thing. And if you live on a farm or a ranch . . . well, apparently, anything goes.

So now I understand why people aren’t really joking when they call the folks from Michigan Meshuggeners.* Because this law, as written, is apparently the work of a group of well-meaning simpletons (at best) or madmen (at worst).

* “Meshuggeners”: Yiddish word meaning anything from “foolish” to “out-and-out insane.”

*. *. *

While I applaud the Michigan state legislature for making the attempt to reduce the likelihood of mass shootings occurring in their schools and elsewhere, I’m not seeing this particular piece of legislation as being much of a solution. Unfortunately, I can’t offer anything better . . . short of locking up all pre-pubescent kids until they’re 25 or 30, when hopefully those frontal lobes will guide them to make better decisions.

Although, looking at some of today’s adults, I’m not so sure about that either.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
2/13/24