You’re probably laughing right now; I did too, when I read today’s news flash. But it’s not a joke. I don’t think Vladimir Putin knows how to crack jokes about such serious matters as zero . . . no, negative . . . population growth. Russia’s in trouble, people. Like that other Wicked Witch — you know, the one from the West — Russia is melting!

Well . . . shrinking, actually. But close enough for government work. (“Melting” sounds too much like the global warming thing, which is a whole other really serious issue and not the one we’re talking about today.)

In Russia’s case, it took more than tossing a bucket of water at a Witch to start the process; it took an entire war (or “special military operation,” in Putin parlance), and the resultant deployment of around 300,000 Russian troops (of whom an estimated 50,000 have died), for Mr. Putin to become fully aware of the problem. Those losses, together with the “Flight of the Draft-Dodgers” and others — a total of another 900,000 or so people — have taken a serious bite out of Russia’s workforce since February of 2022. Not to mention the inevitable reduction in the birth rate.

So on November 28th, Putin again appeared on the big — really big — screen before the 15th World Russian People’s Congress at the State Kremlin Palace in Moscow, where he urged Russian women to get busy and start popping out babies as quickly as possible:

“Many of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers, had seven, eight, or even more children. Let us preserve and revive these excellent traditions. Large families must become the norm, a way of life for all of Russia’s people. The family is not just the foundation of the state and society, it is a spiritual phenomenon, a source of morality.

“Preserving and increasing the population of Russia is our goal for the coming decades and even generations ahead. This is the future of the Russian world, the millennium-old, eternal Russia.”

*. *. *

Wow! Get crankin’, folks. Let the orgy begin!

Granted, the decline in Russia’s population is not new. Since the start of Putin’s reign some 24 years ago, he has offered “a range of government incentives for those who have children, including payouts for families who have more than one child.” But, in a country already suffering from the effects of massive inflation, as well as the impact from more recent sanctions imposed since the start of the war against Ukraine, it appears that these incentives have fallen far short of their goal. According to Rosstat, Russia’s federal statistics service, the country’s population as of January 1st of this year stood at 146,447,424 — lower than it was in 1999 when Putin first became president. [Tom Porter, Business Insider, Nov. 29, 2023.] For purposes of comparison, the population of the United States on January 1st was 334,233,854 — a slight increase of about 1/2% over the previous year.

So now Putin is trying a different tactic: appealing to the patriotic, moral, and spiritual values held dear by this generation’s grandparents and great-grandparents. Yeah . . . good luck with that one, Vlad. I can’t wait to see how it goes over with all of those already overworked, underpaid, physically and emotionally exhausted couples who are now being told they’re nothing more than baby-making machines for the state. Forget about making love; it’s now just a manufacturing process.

*. *. *

You say you want my personal opinion on this vital matter? Okay, here it is:

That’s gonna take one hell of a lot of vodka!

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
11/29/23