It’s early fall in far eastern Russia. The huge, heavily-armored, puke-green train chugs into the railroad station, where a seriously overweight man named Kim disembarks and enters a waiting limousine for the ride to the Vostochny Cosmodrome — the Russian space station not far from the city of Vladivostok. There, the fat man is greeted by a much, much smaller man named Vlad. They smile broadly; they shake hands; and Vlad speaks first.

Vlad: Greetings, President Kim; long time no see. Welcome to our glorious motherland and our beautiful Cosmodrome. We are delighted that you were able to join us here before our upcoming economic conference in Vladivostok. I hope that your journey was comfort . . .

Kim: Uh-huh.

(The handshake ends as they walk toward a nearby building.)

Vlad: And here we have our elegant conference center, where we can meet in comfort and privacy, and perhaps enjoy a repast . . .

Kim: Uh-huh.

(They enter the building and are seated, surrounded by interpreters and security guards.)

Vlad: I know you are most anxious to view our very advanced space program and an actual rocket ship, as well as our nuclear . . .

Kim: Uh-huh.

Vlad: But first, perhaps you would like to discuss our agricultural program . . .

Kim: We take food. Much food.

Vlad: Da, da. Of course. I understand. And we are in a position to provide whatever you need. We can iron out the details . . .

Kim: Uh-huh.

Vlad: And of course we are also willing to share with you our advanced technology for our nuclear missiles . . .

Kim: Yes. We take.

Vlad: Khorosho. Good, good. Of course, we would also like to discuss the matter of the excellent North Korean weapons that we need for the furtherance of our Special Military Operation in Ukraine . . .

Kim: Yes, yes. We eat now.

*. *. *

There followed what must have been one hell of a lunch, because they reportedly remained together for a total of five hours. Both men are surely adept at speaking with their mouths full of food (on top of the voluminous ration of bullshit that usually flows from those gaping maws), because it is reported that the following was achieved during the historic exchange:

“Practically, Russia gets artillery shells and missiles. North Korea, in exchange, gets food aid and possibly technology that can help develop its nuclear and missile programme.” [BBC News, September 13, 2023.]

*. *. *

This is where my head drooped and I woke up, my hands still positioned on the keyboard — which never seems to leave my lap these days. I really must stop obsessing over the daily news; my dreams are becoming weirder and weirder . . .

Kim: Uh-huh!

TTFN,
Brendochka
9/13/23