Pinch me — I know I must be dreaming. Is it possible that what I just read is true?

I’m looking at a news article right now that says if I fly out to California with another idiot . . . er, person . . . by September 30th, and show up at the right place and the right time somewhere in Costa Mesa, we can — for only $23,000 — not only hear Donald Trump rant . . . er, speak . . . but can also attend a VIP reception and — GASP! — get our picture taken with him. Oh! My! God! I’d better start packing now. What will I wear? Gotta get my hair done. Need plane tickets, hotel reservation, rental car. Where the hell is Costa Mesa, anyway?

Oh . . . and a quickie bank loan. Mustn’t forget the money.

*. *. *

Wait . . . wait. Calm down. Breathe in. Exhale. In. Out. Okay now, relax. Take it easy. And listen to yourself.

What in the name of all that’s holy could I be thinking? Is there a person on earth — dead or alive — worth paying that kind of money to see? Much less the one who’s auctioning himself off in this instance? Seriously? I don’t care how much money you have — that’s just a stupid way to spend it. But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I’m really into having my face photographed alongside the face of a famous person, be it a politician, an actor, or a rock star. In this case, for only $34, I can just buy one of his mug-shot t-shirts and take a selfie. And, assuming that I’ve still got the $23,000 just lying around, think of what else I could do with it.

Examples: Help some of those poor victims of the earthquake in Morocco. Or the Ukrainian war survivors. Or the starving people in drought-stricken Africa. Or, right here in my own country, people made homeless by floods, wildfires, and other disasters. Or sick children . . . abandoned and mistreated animals . . . wounded veterans . . . There’s no end to the list.

Bottom line: Why in hell would I want to throw out that kind of money — or any amount of money — to benefit someone who already has billions of dollars of his own? And for what? For the sake of his Political Action Committee? His inflated ego?

Sorry, Donnie. Enjoy the rubber chicken dinner and the adulation of your misguided followers. I’m too smart for that s**t.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
9/10/23