Once upon a time, in the land known as Russia, there lived a very scary troll named Yevgeny Prigozhin. As a young troll, he lived under a bridge in a city called Leningrad, where he got into a lot of trouble and wound up in prison for a number of years. His family was poor, and he stole stuff; but apparently he wasn’t very good at it because he did get caught.

And one day, when he was released from prison, he decided to start a legitimate business, selling hot dogs from a kiosk. And he was much more clever about business than he was about outright theft, and he began to make lots of money, which he used to open some really nice restaurants — several of them — which made even more money for him.

Yevgeny had a friend named Vladimir, who also had come from a pretty poor family in Leningrad, and he helped Yevgeny build his restaurant and catering business by sending contracts his way. You see, this Vladimir kid was also a pretty shrewd character, and he had come up through the ranks — not always the honest way — to become President of Russia. And the two friends accumulated lots of money and power.

Years passed, as they tend to do, and Yevgeny had branched out into a second business, called a Private Military Company. Now, such companies were strictly forbidden in Russia; but because Yevgeny and Vladimir were such good friends, this company was allowed to grow and prosper; and soon Yevgeny was providing Vladimir with all the mercenary fighters he could ask for to do his dirty work in countries in many parts of the world.

And then, one day the shit hit the fan, because Yevgeny got fed up with Vladimir’s regular military troops and the way their war in a nearby country was being mismanaged. And he decided to stage a revolt by his mercenaries against Vladimir’s military leaders, which really pissed Vladimir off.

And this is where the water gets really murky, because no one — outside of the actual participants — knows exactly what did happen.

Now, in a fairy tale, the good guys vanquish the bad guys and everyone lives happily ever after.

But what do you do when you can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys, or who is doing what to whom, and why? The fairy tale becomes a mystery.

What this fairy tale book tells us is that Yevgeny went off the rails and started an insurrection against his old friend Vladimir. But something happened to stop him, and soon Yevgeny was banished to another kingdom nearby, with all of his wealth to be taken from him. However, he kept showing up in places he wasn’t supposed to be, and no one could figure out whether Vladimir had forgiven him, or what else might be going on.

And after a couple of months, a terrible thing happened. A private plane — allegedly carrying Yevgeny and nine other people — crashed and burned, killing everyone onboard. And the questions began as to the true ending to the fairy tale, because there were several possibilities.

Ending No. 1: The official word was that Yevgeny’s name was on the passenger list of that ill-fated plane, and he was indeed dead. End of story, right? RIGHT?? Well . . . maybe.

Ending No. 2: There was a brief mention of a second plane in the area that had landed safely in Moscow. But who was on it? Good question. Could Yevgeny have sensed a plot against him, or perhaps just missed the first flight, and landed safely with the second plane? Another good question . . . but no answer.

Ending No. 3: Let’s go back to Ending No. 1 for a moment. Vladimir was awfully quick to confirm that Yevgeny was on the first plane, even though forensic examinations had not yet been concluded of any of the ten people on the plane. It was as though the authorities really wanted the world to believe that Yevgeny had died in the crash-and-burn of that aircraft. And some witnesses to the crash had spoken of two loud bangs and smoke trails as the plane “fell from the sky.” So, does this ending show the plane being shot down, or perhaps a bomb being exploded onboard? And if so, was that in order to actually kill Yevgeny, or to create that illusion? More questions.

Ending No. 4: If it should come to pass that Yevgeny is still alive (which we would probably never know for sure even if that were the case), the big question is: WHY? The most obvious answer, to my mind, would be that the whole mind-blowing scenario — from the supposed revolt against Vladimir, to the taking of Rostov-on-Don, to the march toward Moscow, to the cessation of the march and the supposed deal under which Yevgeny would be banished to Belarus, to his re-appearances and disappearances, to the ultimate plane crash (in which, let us not forget, nine other people became collateral damage) — was one gigantic farce from beginning to end. Which was exactly what many people have believed from the get-go. But, again, WHY? That would almost be too elaborate a plan to be believable. Wouldn’t it?

I was going to begin this sentence with “the most logical answer.” But everything about this case defies logic. So all we can do is guess, and surmise, and argue, and wonder, and try to make sense of it. But only a handful of people know for sure, and they’re certainly not talking. Which shows us possibly the greatest advantage of living in a closed society: the ability to hide their secrets from the rest of the world. And in this age of electronic snooping, that is no small advantage.

Over the past five weeks, I have written six chapters titled “Where’s Yevgeny?” And the world is still asking the same question. Considering that the answer can only come from Russia, we may never know for sure. But at this point in time, I’m voting for Ending No. 1. Or No. 4. Or No. . . .Well, we shall see . . . maybe.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
8/24/23