A young man — a husband, father, son, brother, friend, and the son-in-law of a good friend of mine — passed away suddenly this week of a previously unsuspected heart condition. And it started me thinking of the unpredictability of life, and from there my mind wandered into the category of what my last wishes would be if I knew my exact expiration date.

But since none of us do know that (unless we’re contemplating suicide, which I most definitely am not), and therefore not knowing how much time I might have left to make plans, I decided to focus on something readily attainable: food.

Which in turn reminded me of my late mother and her very simple last-meal request (which, sadly, remained unfulfilled). She had spent her entire life dieting — when younger, because she had an obsessive fear of gaining weight — and she stayed pretty much at 98 pounds throughout her adult life, which was fine because she was barely five feet tall. And when she was older, and had had a heart attack and suffered from elevated cholesterol, she developed a neurotic anxiety about fats — the kind to be found in the foods we eat. So she wouldn’t eat anything that was reputed to contain high levels of animal fat, such as beef, pork, egg yolks, and dairy. She spurned fried or sautéed food, even if it had been cooked in healthy vegetable oils, because she was sure that heating it somehow made the good oil bad. In short, she drove us all crazy!

But she said that if the time came when she knew she didn’t have long to live, the one thing she wanted us to give her was . . . even now, I feel ridiculous saying it . . . a bologna sandwich. And not just any bologna; it had to be Hebrew National Bologna. Not because it was kosher; it just tasted better. And it had to be on rye bread, with French’s yellow mustard. Forget about a steak dinner, baked potato loaded with butter and sour cream, and cheesecake for dessert. To her, bologna was better.

So why did that one simple request go unsatisfied? Because we, her family, knew that if we had ever tried to get her to eat a bologna sandwich, she would have assumed she was at death’s door and would have freaked out in ways you can’t even imagine. And when finally, inevitably, it became obvious she was not going to survive the most recent heart attack, she had no appetite for anything . . . not even her beloved bologna sandwich. How sad is that?

Ironically, as I neared the age at which my mother had passed away, circumstances caused me to have to modify my diet — not as crazily as she did, but with some minor adjustments. A loss of mobility has also made it impossible for me to stand for hours and cook the way I used to. But I refuse to suffer the same “bologna sandwich” fate that she did. So I hereby submit my menus for my final days. (I will leave the recipes and instructions behind, just in case.) As you will see, a plain old sandwich just won’t cut it.

*. *. *

For the main course, let’s start with rolled cabbages, made the way my Ukrainian grandmother taught my mother and she taught me: with an all-beef filling and a sweet-and-sour tomato sauce gravy flavored with sour salt (citric acid) and white sugar — no lemon juice or brown sugar, if you please. And this dish stands alone; no sides are needed, but some good rye bread for dunking is always welcome.

Next, there’s pot roast. Chuck is my first choice, with brisket a close second, though the latter is leaner and not as tender and needs to be cooked a little longer. Either cut must definitely be braised and roasted with potatoes, carrots and onions, and a rich beef broth gravy. A cast iron Dutch oven works best for this.

And one more: Oddly, a Thanksgiving dinner, the way my family used to do it, because it’s always been my favorite holiday. There’s turkey, of course, but with my mother’s cracker stuffing, my home-made cranberry sauce (I’ll leave some in the freezer), sweet potatoes (no marshmallows or nuts), Brussels sprouts (and green beans for those who can’t stand the sprouts), rolls and butter, and for dessert the requisite pumpkin pie with mounds of whipped cream, but also an apple pie for those who prefer it. I’ll have a sliver of each.

*. *. *

And for dessert with the first two dinners: Tiramisu. I once spent an entire year making the rounds of the Washington, D.C. area’s many fine restaurants, searching for the best tiramisu. I gained ten pounds, but I finally found it . . . and then the restaurant closed its doors. Just coincidence, I’m sure. But to this day, I dream about that tiramisu, and I would love a nice hunk of it (or a reasonable facsimile) to top off those first two meals, please.

But wait . . . there’s more. It is my one guilty pleasure to this very day. No matter how un-hungry I may be, I end each day with a 3.6-ounce cup of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. It must be Haagen-Dazs, and if it’s not coffee, I get cranky. It’s just the best stuff in the world. So why the little cups? Two reasons. First, because I’m too lazy to scoop frozen-solid ice cream from a big container every night. And second, portion control, of course. Not so much for the calorie count, but the excess of caffeine in a bigger serving of the coffee late at night would seriously have me staring at the ceiling until dawn, and has done so more than once.

And there is a third reason: Somehow, tauntingly, I find that leaving myself wanting just a little bit more makes the next night’s treat that much better.

*. *. *

And there you have it: the simple, folksy, somewhat plebeian (except for the tiramisu) means of ensuring that I make my final exit from this world with a big, satisfied smile on my face, and most likely a resounding belch from my . . . well, from wherever belches originate. I’m not in any hurry, though, so don’t rush off to the market just yet. But please do keep it in mind for the future.

Oh, by the way, I always have a supply of ice cream in the freezer. Help yourself to any extras. And thanks.

Brendochka
4/6/24

P.S. To the young man who is no longer with us: Requiescat in pace.

Sadly, there is no more vaudeville, no more Laurel and Hardy or Gallagher and Shean. The days of Milton Berle and Sid Caesar are gone forever. Lost too is the acerbic wit of Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce. What passes for comedy in the U.S. today seems to be the maximum use of the “F” word.

But do not despair. A brand-new style of humor has been born, and it’s coming to us — to the whole world — out of a most unexpected place: Moscow. Yes, that’s Moscow, the capital of Russia — not Moscow, Indiana or Moscow, Idaho, though either of those cities would most likely be a better choice of vacation destination these days.

No, the new humor . . . albeit on the sick and somewhat tasteless side . . . is presented with a deadpan delivery that has obviously taken years — even decades — to develop. You really have to see it to appreciate it fully; but like most good jokes, just hearing or reading the words can still give you a good chuckle.

Without going into too much detail or background, I present to you the four stars of the Russian Comedy Club, and the unforgettable punch lines for which they have most recently become rich — really rich —and famous. Or is it “infamous”? Anyway, without further ado, let’s give a huge welcome to Vladimir Putin, Sergey Lavrov, Dmitry Medvedev, and Nikolai Patrushev.

*. *. *

Vladimir Putin, President: He tops the list for declaring Ukraine’s demolition of Russia’s illegally-built Crimean Bridge to be a “barbaric bomb attack” that qualifies as an “act of terrorism,” and demanding that the responsible parties be extradited to Russia, along with compensation to the families of the Russian invaders who were killed in the explosion. Now, taken in the context of the ongoing war in Ukraine, tell me that’s not just plain hilarious.

Sergey Lavrov, Foreign Minister: In a skit that centered around the need for peace talks between Russia and Ukraine, Sergey told us that he believes China would be the best choice to act as negotiator, based on its proposed peace plan: “The most important thing for us is that the Chinese document is based on an analysis of the reasons for what is happening and the need to eliminate these root causes. It is structured in logic from the general to the specific.” And he delivered those lines without cracking a smile. Fantastic!

Dmitry Medvedev, Deputy Chairman, Russian Security Council: Dmitry managed to reduce me to tears with three short sentences: “One of Ukraine’s former leaders once said Ukraine is not Russia. That concept needs to disappear forever. Ukraine is definitely Russia.” Who writes this stuff, anyway??!!! It’s priceless!

And last, but by no means least, we have the normally poker-faced . . .

Nikolai Patrushev, Secretary, Russian Security Council: They’re just loaded with comics on the Security Council, aren’t they? Well, old Nicky slayed us this week with a one-liner, the punch line of his routine wherein he lays substantial blame for the Moscow theater attack on Ukraine and the U.S.: “But everyone knows that the Kyiv regime is not independent and is completely controlled by the United States.” Omigod! My sides are splitting! This guy is too much!

*. *. *

So there, in brief, you have the new stars of Russian comedy. Or are they in truth the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Hmmm . . . It’s really hard to tell the difference.

Now, that’s not funny.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/5/24

P.S. For a real laugh, take a closer look at what AI did to the Four Horsemen, and their horses.

I have a confession to make: The computer age scares me. It scares the crap out of me.

Oh, I’ve adapted, within the limits of my abilities. I learned all sorts of programs at work; it was mandatory, and in many ways it did make work easier. Of course, it also came with a free pass for producing endless rewrites, being connected on weekends and evenings, and even taking your work with you on vacations.

And now, in retirement, I have my laptop, my iPad, and my ever-present iPhone. And I admit that I love being able to stay in touch with distant friends and family, to order anything I want or need without leaving the house, and to check the news and weather reports 24/7. I even do my banking online, and . . . as you can see . . . I have a blog!

So, for someone who obviously was born at least one generation too soon, I think I’m doing extremely well. But it still scares me, and here is why:

The damned things are smarter than I am! In fact, they’re smarter than most of us will ever be; probably even smarter than the people who created them. They’re taking over the world . . . and there’s no way to make it stop.

It was frightening enough when I first realized that — quite literally — you can run, but you can no longer hide. Unless you turn your phone off, that wonderful little GPS thingy that keeps you from getting lost also keeps you from sneaking around on your parents, your partner, your kids, or your boss. Or the authorities, if you’re into something you shouldn’t be. And even with your phone off, there’s always the chance that some wise-ass with a drone will find you.

Then it turned out that my personal life was no longer personal. Anything and everything I do online gets dumped into a gigantic data bank somewhere — or in some amorphous storage unit fancifully called “The Cloud” — where every vendor, every service provider, and every thieving ne’er-do-well in the world can identify me, add me to their mailing lists, and inundate me with a couple of hundred emails a day, all designed to help relieve me of what little money I may have. That is, if the hackers don’t get to my bank account first.

And then I heard about something called 3D printing. Sorry, what in the hell is that? You say they’re actually printing houses that people live in??!!! Nah, not possible. I know I must have imagined that one. I mean, what kind of printer would you need . . . ?

But I’ve learned to live with all those things. I ignore the ones that just don’t seem real. I delete the emails, first selecting “unsubscribe” . . . which, you may have noticed, doesn’t always work. I don’t answer calls or texts from anyone identified as “Possible Spam,” and just when I think everything will be fine, along comes . . .

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. [Cue theme music from Dragnet.]

Holy shit! Tell me this isn’t real. Well, actually, it isn’t . . . not really real. It’s artificial . . . right? But it does exist . . . in another dimension. And not just on the internet. I read somewhere that there are even AI drones. Can that be right?! Artificial warfare! What the hell . . . ?

So by now I am beyond terrified. I see online (alleged) photographs of famous people, and the only way I can tell if they’re genuine is by looking at the hands and other minute details that AI hasn’t perfected yet . . . but you know it will someday. Soon. And AI programs that can intake a picture of, say, your house and completely redesign it for you. See what I mean? The f**king thing is a thousand times smarter than I could ever hope to be . . . and talented, to boot! If it were human, I’d have to strangle it. And Microsoft has already offered me — popping up on my screen several times a day — my very own AI program.

Now, I ask you: Why in the name of all that’s holy would I want something like that living in my computer in my house? I already have Siri telling me how stupid I am, and Alexa just waiting for me to let her in the front door. My sense of self-worth hit rock bottom three Apple upgrades ago. I’m done.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/4/24

Who would ever have thought that Vladimir Putin could be responsible for making me laugh so hard it actually snapped me out of yesterday’s malaise? Because normally, he is just not a funny fellow. Not intentionally, anyway.

But sometimes — just occasionally — when he’s dead serious, he can be freakin’ hilarious. Like the other day, when he said . . . oh, you just aren’t going to believe this one:

First, Reuters reported that “Russia is demanding that Ukraine hand over all people connected with terrorist acts committed in Russia, including the head of the country’s SBU Security Service, the foreign ministry said on Sunday . . .

“The SBU immediately dismissed the Russian demand as ‘pointless’ and said the Russian ministry had ‘forgotten’ that Kremlin leader Vladimir Putin was the subject of an international arrest warrant.

“A Russian Foreign Ministry statement listed violent incidents that have occurred in Russia since the Kremlin’s forces invaded Ukraine in February 2022 . . .

“The ministry said investigation of these incidents showed that ‘the traces of these crimes lead to Ukraine.’

“‘Russia has turned over to Ukrainian authorities its demands . . . for the immediate arrest and extradition of all those connected to the terrorist acts in question,’ the statement said.

“‘The Russian side demands that the Kyiv regime immediately cease all support for terrorist activity, extradite guilty parties and compensate the victims for damages,’ the ministry statement said.

“‘Ukraine’s violation of its obligations under anti-terrorist conventions will result in it being held to account in international legal terms.’”

And so on. [Reuters, March 31, 2024.]

This was followed the next day by a report from Business Insider:

“Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs demanded on Sunday evening that Ukraine arrest the head of its own security services and extradite him to Russia.

”The ministry issued a statement blaming Vasyl Malyuk, the chief of the Security Service of Ukraine, for an explosion at a bridge in Crimea that Russia said killed five people in October 2022.

The statement called the explosion one of several ‘barbaric bomb attacks,’ mentioning them alongside the devastating Moscow concert hall attack in March 2022 [sic – should be 2024] that killed at least 140 people.

. . .

”Russia’s foreign ministry described the bridge attack as a terrorist act, and said it told Kyiv to ‘immediately arrest and extradite every person implicated.’” [Matthew Loh, Business Insider, April 1, 2024.]

[Pause for reaction from Kyiv]:

I happened to read the Business Insider article first, and my initial thought was that, it being April 1st, it was some sort of April Fool’s Day joke, which would have been funny enough on its own. But then I noted the Reuters article of March 31st, and when I realized this was no joke . . . well, you can imagine my reaction. It was pretty much as I had envisioned President Zelensky’s must have been.

*. *. *

True, the statement was officially issued by the Foreign Ministry. But you and I know perfectly well that no official statements come out of Moscow that haven’t been approved by . . . or even originated with . . . Putin himself. So let’s give credit where it’s due.

First, there’s the idea of Vladimir Putin — invader, war-monger, destroyer of any and all opponents, and himself an internationally wanted criminal — labelling anyone else as a “terrorist” . . . well, it simply stretches credulity beyond any conceivable limits.

Then there’s the issue of that Crimean Bridge: a bridge built by Putin to connect Russian land with a portion of Ukraine that he illegally has occupied since invading that region and forcibly annexing it in 2014. Land that, not incidentally, was legally and officially made part of Ukraine by edict of the Soviet government in 1954 — 70 years ago — when Nikita Khrushchev ordered it transferred from the Russian SSR (Soviet Socialist Republic) to the Ukrainian SSR. Land that, therefore, has never belonged to today’s Russian Federation, which has only been in existence as a sovereign nation since 1991.

And finally, when one considers the blasting of a single, illegally-existing bridge in contrast with the enormity of the ongoing, now-in-its-third-year onslaught and the blanket destruction of entire swaths of Ukrainian territory, including civilian infrastructure, not to mention the slaughter of tens of thousands of the civilians themselves . . . well, there simply is no way to compare the two. And consider that the importance of Crimea to Putin is its easy access to those areas of Ukraine that he has already invaded and devastated: Mariupol, Melitopol, Zaporizhzhia, Kherson, Mikolaiv . . . the southern quadrant of a sovereign nation that he, in his delusional state of mind, wants to “reclaim” in its entirety. (By the way, since Putin brought up the subject of compensation, I hope he’s set aside enough money to “compensate” all those victims of his own terrorist acts.)

*. *. *

Yes, in a sense the concept is comical . . . or it would be, if it were the plot of a Mel Brooks “History of the World” movie.

*. *. *

But it isn’t a movie. For the people of Ukraine, it is the very real story of their ruined lives, being lived day, after day, after endless day.

*. *. *

Perhaps the best way to react to Putin and his latest bit of grotesquery would be simply to treat his brainstorm as the joke that it is and laugh him out of the room . . . out of office . . . and out of existence. If only that were possible . . .

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/3/24

For the moment, at least, I have nothing to say. Or, more accurately, I’m just not motivated to write about . . . well . . . anything. No readers for the past several days, so why bother writing? It just feels like screaming into the void.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/2/24

What a day! First, it has been reported that Hamas has agreed to release all of the remaining Israeli hostages in exchange for a cessation of hostilities on Israel’s part. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has indicated that he will agree to a temporary cease-fire of two weeks in order to consider the details of a permanent solution. This is the most promising news on that front to date.

And equally exciting is word that both Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelensky appear to be willing to sit down at the negotiating table, each realizing that some concessions will be necessary on both sides in order to end the war in Ukraine. The talks are to be mediated by representatives of the governments of Belarus, North Korea, and Lichtenstein, and two ISIS-K suicide bombers from Tajikistan.

Okay, so . . . not funny?

I do apologize, but it was hard to come up with something that wouldn’t scare the crap out of you. And on a Monday to boot — and one that is starting off, for me, with a dental appointment. Yuck.

But maybe, in retrospect, it was just a little bit funny? Not even a teensy bit . . . ?

Okay, fine! I’ll try to do better next year.

TTFN,
Brendochka
4/1/24

It’s Sunday again . . . and Easter Sunday, to boot. What better time to resurrect the names of some of the hostages — American, British, and Russian citizens — being wrongfully held in Russian prisons and penal colonies on charges ranging from treason, to acting as a foreign agent, to the made-up crime of “extremism.”

And sadly, there are updates — and not hopeful ones — on some of the prisoners already on my list, as well as new name to be added: new arrests, time added to existing sentences, and one American hostage who (I am ashamed to say) escaped my attention until recently.

Let me start with the updates. As I reported on March 27th, the following day would mark the one-year anniversary of the arrest of Evan Gershkovich on charges of spying, during which he has been held in Moscow’s notorious Lefortovo Prison . . . without benefit of trial. Two days before that grim anniversary, a hearing was held in a Moscow court, the result of which was an extension of Gershkovich’s pretrial detention to “at least June 30th.” No reason given; none required.

Alsu Kurmasheva. A dual Russian/American citizen residing in the U.S. with her husband and two daughters, Kurmasheva traveled to Russia last summer to visit her ailing mother and was arrested on charges of failing to properly declare her U.S. citizenship. But now the journalist and co-editor of a book that criticized the invasion of Ukraine has been further charged with “disseminating false information about Russia’s military” — a crime that can result in a prison sentence of up to 15 years.

*. *. *

There has been little publicity for Marc Hilliard Fogel, an American schoolteacher who was arrested in August of 2021 for trying to enter Russia with 17 grams (0.6 ounces) of medical marijuana. In June of 2022, he was sentenced to an incredible 14 years in prison for “drug trafficking.” Trafficking?!! Just over a half-ounce of medical weed?! That’s barely even possession. But he is serving out his sentence in Rybinsk, a penal colony some 311 km. (around 193 miles) north of Moscow.

You might be wondering how Britney Griner, the American basketball star who was arrested in Russia on similar charges in February 2022, was swapped so quickly — and for notorious Russian arms trader Viktor Bout, at that — while Marc Fogel continues to languish in prison. The answer is simple . . . and revolting. Under U.S. law, in order for negotiations for a release or trade to begin, the American prisoner must first be declared “wrongfully detained” by the U.S. Government. Griner was almost immediately so designated; Fogel, despite lobbying in Congress by his family and others, still has not been. The reason — or excuse — is unknown; and anything that comes to my mind would be just . . . well . . . so wrong.

*. *. *

And finally (for today), my weekend was ruined by an article headed “Russia is rounding up more journalists a year after the arrest of Evan Gershkovich.” [Radina Gigova, Anna Chernova and Olesya Dmitracova, CNN, March 29, 2024.] It seems that — perhaps as some sort of grotesque commemoration of the anniversary of Gershkovich’s detention — six journalists, all representing independent media outlets in Russia, were arrested over the course of just a few hours this week.

Perhaps the best-known of the six is Antonina Favorskaya, who works for SOTA Vision, an independent Russian media outlet. She has been accused of that new favorite crime, “extremist activities,” because of her work in covering the late dissident Alexei Navalny. According to independent outlet Mediazona, Favorskaya has covered all of Navalny’s court hearings over the last two years, traveled to the penal colonies where he was imprisoned, and filmed his last video before his death. [CNN, March 2, 2024.]

Two other journalists who had come to meet Favorskaya — Alexandra Astakhova and Anastasia Musayeva — were also detained and have been designated as “involved in the case as witnesses.” [Id.] In Russia, you are indeed judged by the company you keep.

I have no further information at this point on these most recent incidents or the status of the individuals; but you, my readers, know me well enough by now to know that I have only just begun to dig . . . and to voice my indignation, for what it is worth.

*. *. *

So I once more urge you not to forget or forsake those men and women being held HOSTAGE by the Russian government, who have done no more than speak out against the dictatorial, fascist regime of Vladimir Putin. While they have been forced into silence, we have not.

We must continue to use our voices for them. Please just click to share this message on any and every social media platform of your choice. It’s so easy to create that multitude of voices.

Please . . . bring them home!

Brendochka
3/31/24

For some unknown reason, this was my Friday:

It began around 4:30 a.m., when I suddenly awoke from an odd dream and realized I felt like crap, physically and otherwise. And it didn’t go away, even after hanging out in my p.j.s all day, treating myself to a total day off. Just hunkered down: no writing, no reading, no communicating with the human race. Turned the TV on . . . and my mind off.

So, no blog post for today; maybe tomorrow. Wish me luck.

TTFN,
Brendochka
3/30/24

March 29, 2024, obviously. And since the day’s news offerings are pretty much a grim repeat or continuation of yesterday’s, I thought I’d give myself (and you) another break and have a little fun with history trivia. Are you with me? Let’s start with . . .

Holidays: Did you know that, in addition to being Good Friday, today is also “National Hot Cross Bun Day” and “National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day”? (Yes, please — I’ll have one of each.) And there is something called “National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day” (that’s just lovely); “Smoke and Mirrors Day” (for all you spies out there); “Texas Loves the Children Day” (glad to hear it, but didn’t know it was an issue); “World Marbles Day” (perhaps for those who have lost theirs?); and “Niagara Falls Runs Dry Day” (hopefully not a prediction, or did it happen and the world slept through it?). Also, March 24-30 has been designated “National Cleaning Week.” (Glad that one’s almost over. In fact, to be completely honest, I’ve pretty much ignored it all week anyway.)

Births and Deaths: There were a few, but it doesn’t seem to be a popular date for either. March 29th did see the births of one U.S. President — John Tyler (in 1790), and one American First Lady — Lou Hoover, wife of President Herbert Hoover (1874). We lost America’s first multi-millionaire — John Jacob Astor — on this date in 1848. And sadly, actress Patty Duke passed away at the tender age of 69 years in 2016.

Divorce: This would not normally be considered good news, but in one instance, it was widely celebrated by the wife’s friends, family and fans everywhere . . . because on this date in 1978, the talented Tina Turner was finally officially divorced from her abusive husband Ike after sixteen years of misery. And a lot of women took note, and began to take control of their own lives.

Word of the Day: From Wiktionary, of course. And at least today it’s a fairly useful noun: otorhinolaryngology. Now, I have always heard my ear, nose and throat doctor called an otolaryngologist, without the “rhino” part. But I rather like the longer form; think of how impressed your friends will be when you casually mention that you’ve made an appointment with your otorhinolaryngologist. You’d better just hope they don’t ask you to spell it.

History: There were a good many historic events on this date that didn’t involve giving birth or planning a funeral . . . some good, some not so good, and some dependent on your point of view. But let’s touch on just a few:

– 1848: Niagara Falls stopped flowing for 30 hours due to an ice jam. (Aha! That might explain the whole “Niagara Falls Runs Dry Day” thing.)

– 1852: It became illegal in Ohio for children under 18 and women to work more than ten hours a day. (That’s mighty big of them. And did that include the hours those women put in at home after work, cooking and cleaning and doing laundry?)

– 1867: Congress approved the Lincoln Memorial. (Possibly the only thing the two Houses of Congress ever agreed on without months of arguing and name-calling.)

– 1886: The first batch of Coca-Cola was brewed in a backyard in Atlanta, Georgia, by Dr. John Pemberton. (And in case you didn’t know, the original recipe included the fluid extract of coca leaves. That’s cocaine, folks. Way to go, Dr. Pemberton.)

– 1961 – Nelson Mandela was finally acquitted on treason charges following a 4-1/2-year trial. (Amen.)

– 1973: The last U.S. combat troops left South Vietnam. (Not one of our finer moments.)

– 2017: The United Kingdom invoked Article 50, beginning the formal process of Brexit. (And they’re still debating whether it should have happened.)

– 1986: Yes, I know it’s out of chronological order, but it’s my favorite, and I like to keep the best for last (which is why dessert comes at the end of the meal). On this date in that year, Beatles recordings officially went on sale in Russia.

Do you think it’s coincidence that just five years later, the Soviet Union collapsed?

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
3/29/24

I’m in one of those moods today. You know, when it all becomes too much to deal with: wars; acts of terrorism; bridges collapsing; natural disasters; Netanyahu being out of his freakin’ mind; and Putin, Xi, Trump, Musk, and Bobby Kennedy, Jr., all being . . . well . . . all just being themselves.

So I went on a search, and I found a wonderful website that reveals everything that this day, and every other day of the year, is known for. And since it gave me a bit of joy on a gray and rainy afternoon, I absolutely had to share it with you. And awa-a-a-ay we go . . .

Holidays: Unfortunately, not the kind you get to take off from work, but still fun to take note of. There’s “Barnum & Bailey Day” (when life presumably is a circus); “Eat an Eskimo Pie Day” (that should be every day); “National Hot Tub Day” (which I understand is every day in California); and “Piano Day” (the 88th day of the year — which, if your name is Schroeder and you also celebrate Beethoven’s birthday on December 16th while playing a toy piano, makes a weird sort of sense).

There is also, oddly, “National Triglycerides Day” — a day in celebration of unhealthy body fat. Only in America.

And probably the most superfluous holiday of all: “Respect Your Cat Day.” I mean, isn’t that a requisite daily thing for all cat families? We love our dogs, but we must respect our cats, for failing to do so would result in untold horrors. You cat people know what I mean.

Finally, I see that there is something called “Something on a Stick Day” (I assume the Eskimo Pie would fill the bill here); and “Weed Appreciation Day” (for all of you too-lazy-to-clear-out-the-garden folks, or perhaps a few old hippies who still prefer to smoke theirs).

Then there are the week-long holidays, some of which are legitimate, like Holy Week and (this year) part of Ramadan. But you might also want to indulge in my favorite, “Make Mine Chocolate Week” (hurry up — it ends on March 31st this year); “National Second-Hand Shopping Week” (to ease the guilt of all you shopaholics); and, somewhat portentously, “Tsunami Awareness Week” (but only in Alaska and California).

*. *. *

Famous Anniversaries: A few famous people celebrate their birthdays today, so let’s send good wishes to the multi-talented Reba McEntire, gymnast Bart Conner, actors Vince Vaughn and Julia Stiles, novelist Jayne Ann Krentz, and the amazing Lady Gaga. Out of respect, I have omitted their ages. You’re welcome, birthday guys and gals.

Today is also the anniversary of some famous people’s departures: the writer Virginia Woolf, in 1882 (of whom Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor presumably lived in fear, at least in the movie); President Dwight D. Eisenhower (1969); and Maria von Trapp (♬ “The hills are alive with the sound of music” ♬ ) (1987). And let us not forget — though we’d probably like to — the notorious Tsar Ivan IV of Russia, better known as Ivan the Terrible, who kicked the bucket on this date in 1530. Would it be rude to say “good riddance”?

This Day In History: How many of us are aware that on March 28th, 1854, France and Britain declared war on Russia, in what became known as the Crimean War? Imagine . . . someone actually invaded Russia before Russia had a chance to do it to them. Makes a nice change, especially for the people of 21st-Century Crimea.

Also on this date, the U.S. Salvation Army was officially organized (1895); a 9.2 earthquake hit Alaska (1964); and some changes occurred in Turkey (both in 1930), when the capital city of Angora was renamed Ankara, and Constantinople became Istanbul (as memorialized by songwriters Jimmy Kennedy and Nat Simon in 1953). (♬ “Why they changed it, I can’t say; people just liked it better that way. ♬)

And Finally: There is a Word of the Day, from . . . who would have guessed . . . Wiktionary. It seems there’s a Wiki for everything. And today’s word — actually a compound word — is a Latin plural noun: lacrimae rerum. I hate to go out on such a sad note, but it means tears of things. I have no idea why it was chosen as the word of the day, or specifically of this day in this year, but I wasn’t consulted. I don’t even know how you would use it in a sentence . . . or why. Do things cry? Ask the folks at Wiktionary, if you can find out who they are.

*. *. *

Well, this was fun. Certainly more so than yesterday’s headlines, which included an announcement of the passing of Joe Lieberman, and the finding of the bodies of two of the victims of that bridge collapse in Baltimore, Maryland. See what I mean? Some days, you just don’t want to deal with it.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
3/28/24