What can I say about Marjorie Taylor Greene?

Wow — that came out sounding like a eulogy. Maybe it was a Freudian slip. Because actually, I wish we could say a final farewell . . . to her so-called career as a U.S. Congresswoman, and her bully pulpit . . . before she drags too many people with her on the downslide into the soul-sucking sludge of her ranting, raving, Putin-loving anti-Americanism.

Now ask me what I really think of her.

*. *. *

Most people today aren’t old enough to remember “Tokyo Rose.” She was not a single individual, but a group of English-speaking Japanese women broadcasting anti-American propaganda during World War II for the purpose of demoralizing American and allied troops and their families. Happily, it didn’t work. But those were the days before the internet and social media. And, in comparison to the quantity and quality of the trash to which we are subjected today, those 1940s broadcasts were simplistic and amateurish.

But where Greene is concerned, I am not laughing. Although the New York Post — hardly a worthy example of exemplary journalism on a normal day — did provide me with the best guffaw I’ve had in a while when they cobbled together this image:

But a lot of people, including her own Republican colleagues in Congress, are seriously worried about her sanity. She has threatened to oust House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) due to his amazing work in the passage of a bill that provides desperately-needed aid to Ukraine in its war against Russia. (The Speaker finally does something really right, and this is what he gets for it — proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished.) She spouts falsehoods about so-called Nazism in Ukraine — echoing the official Kremlin excuse for their “special military operation” — and continually passes along false “information” on subjects ranging from U.S. border issues to aid for Israel. She is fueled by anger and hatred, and refuses to let the truth stand in the way of her daily screeds.

She is the female Donald Trump.

And Vladimir Putin simply adores her. Well, why shouldn’t he? She’s out there proselytizing for him, free of charge. Former Representative Ken Buck (R-Colo), referring to her by her new moniker, recently said, “Moscow Marjorie is focused now on this Ukraine issue, getting her talking points from the Kremlin and making sure that she is popular and gets a lot of coverage.” [Lee Moran, Huffpost, April 22, 2024.]

And Moscow’s media mouthpieces couldn’t agree more. In an expected tirade against the House of Representatives’ passage of the bill authorizing further aid to Ukraine, the man known as “Russia’s No. 1 propagandist,” Vladimir Solovyov, took to the airwaves to declare that “a war with NATO is unavoidable.” He went on to castigate Joe Biden for “destroying” Trump, and Speaker Johnson for “betraying” the Republican party. “This is all you need to know about American politics. They’re traitors!” [Julia Davis, Center for European Policy Analysis (CEPA), April 22, 2024.]

Following Solovyov’s rant, Margarita Simonyan, head of Kremlin-controlled news outlet RT and a frequent guest on Solovyov’s program, had her turn. She spoke about Greene in what she considered to be the most glowing terms: “Greene is a real beauty. She is a blond who wears white coats with a fur collar. She’s demonstrably heterosexual.” [Fact-checked by Snopes.] She also referred to her as one of the few “normal people” in America.

Well, there you go! The gospel according to one of Putin’s Puppets, whose expertise in all things American seems to have been gained while once having worked as a waitress in Maine. [CEPA, id.]

*. *. *

I make light of this, but at the same time I’m seriously worried . . . worried that this is the best we can come up with when electing our country’s legislators. Not to mention the likely slate for the upcoming presidential election. We are in serious trouble, people.

Now I’m waiting to hear what my favorite Russian funnyman, Dmitry Peskov, has to say about us next. That should cheer me up . . . he always does.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/24/24

“Beijing sees foreign threats ‘everywhere’ as powerful spy agency takes center stage.” [Nectar Gan, CNN’s Meanwhile In China, April 22, 2024.]

Thus read a CNN headline on Monday, immediately carrying me back to my school days in the early 1950s, when I spent hours one summer, glued to the black-and-white television set in my aunt’s living room, watching Senator Joseph McCarthy shouting, gesturing, and ruining the lives of mostly innocent Americans whom he — usually for specious reasons dreamt up in his twisted mind — suspected of being Communists or “Com-Simps”: Communist sympathizers.

Those were the days of the Red Scare, when McCarthy and his cronies appointed themselves a posse tasked with rooting out every Commie and Com-Simp in the country — and especially those in prominent positions. Government employees, movie stars, musicians, academics: all were vulnerable, and many were blacklisted, their careers and their private lives decimated. We were expected to believe there was a Communist spy in every closet, behind every tree, and under every bed. Those were crazy, suspicious, frightening times.

And now — in a somewhat different form and with a different goal — those days have come to the People’s Republic of China.

Of course, they’re not looking for Communists. They are the Communists. No, they’re looking for spies from “the West” — the U.S., all the other NATO countries, and our allies. We’re the bad guys now. And, according to China’s President Xi Jinping, we are everywhere: under the beds and behind the trees. Hiding. Lurking. Listening. Watching. It’s a massive infestation, and we must be rooted out and exterminated, like the cockroaches we really are.

Or so says President Xi. And he must know, because he is our honorable President.

Oh, sorry . . . wrong picture.

That’s better.

What has happened under China’s ultra-authoritarian leadership is that the formerly super-secret Ministry of State Security (MSS) has itself come out of the closet and embarked on a publicity campaign of such paranoid phantasmagoria as to be worthy of a George Orwell novel. I have not seen it personally, so I must resort to quoting from CNN’s description of a three-minute video released in tandem with National Security Education Day:

“As ominous music plays, a broad-faced, beady-eyed man disguises himself as a street fashion photographer, a lab technician, a businessman and a food delivery driver — he even sets up an online honey trap — to glean sensitive state secrets in various places and industries.

‘In the sea of people, you may have never noticed him. His identity is changeable and his whereabouts are hard to find,’ a narrator says. ‘They are everywhere, cunning . . . and sneaky, and they may be right here in our lives.’

Eventually, Chinese police catch the spy in a dramatic ambush after state security authorities receive multiple tip-offs from the public.

‘They can disguise as anyone. But among the crowds you and I together are protecting national security,’ the narrator concludes. ‘We 1.4 billion people are 1.4 billion lines of defense.’” [CNN’s Meanwhile in China, April 22, 2024.]

Wow! Looking forward to catching that on YouTube.

And apparently China’s cities have been plastered with posters and slogans “on sidewalks, subway trains, campuses and billboards,” as well as on social media and even in comic strips. That’s right, folks — get the little kiddies looking under the bed too! Why should they miss out on the fun?

*. *. *

One of the worst-kept secrets in the world has always been that everyone spies on everyone else. Of course we spy on the Chinese! Aren’t they doing it to us? The same is true of the Russians, the Iranians, the North Koreans . . . it’s endemic. And it’s “the world’s second oldest profession,” going back to biblical times. (If you have to ask what the oldest profession is, I suggest you contact Siri.)

Seriously, though . . . so what? Why are they suddenly making such a big deal of it — enlisting every one of their 1.4 billion citizens to report on one another? Has Xi Jinping really become that paranoid? Is he trying to take further control of his own people by turning them against one another? Looking for an excuse to take some action against the West? Maybe he’s just trying to keep pace with his BFF, Vladimir Putin. Or is there some other, even more devious purpose bubbling in the cauldron of his psyche?

I have no idea; but I, for one, can’t wait to find out.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/23/24

I was bingeing the other day — not on chocolates, but on reruns of my favorite British TV series, Midsomer Murders — when I saw again the episode wherein Tom Barnaby’s aunt is in short-term post-surgical rehab at a senior nursing home where several of the regular residents have died under mysterious circumstances. Well, Tom Barnaby being the local DCI (Detective Chief Inspector), naturally there had to be deaths to investigate.

But it was the living characters that interested me, and the depiction of the sad emptiness of their daily lives, even though it was quite a lovely nursing home. And what one still-vibrant gentleman resident said to a young visitor struck me as particularly poignant. I don’t recall his words verbatim, but in essence he said that when you’re old, you become invisible. When you’re young you have presence: you’re tall or short, handsome or ugly, perhaps smart, funny, sexy, etc. You’re interesting. But when you’re old, you become extraneous. You’re excluded from everything; you are no longer relevant. People look right past you as though you’re not even there. For all intents and purposes, you are invisible . . . or so said the elderly gentleman.

And it occurred to me — from my own experience and observations — that he was right. Absolutely, completely, tragically right. Oh, not in the eyes of my own generation of friends . . . the few who are left alive. (I seem to be the one designated to survive all the others.) But to the younger ones, the people who have inherited the responsibility of running the world that my generation created (for which, please forgive us, by the way). At social events, or dining out with a group — if they’re mostly younger people, they’re so engaged with one another, they forget you’re there. They’re not being intentionally disrespectful; it’s just that you’ve become irrelevant.

I wonder: Is this a typically American thing? Or is it true in other countries as well? I know there are societies that revere their elders — Asian nations, for example. Why do we think we only need to make sure the old folks are “taken care of”? Don’t they realize we miss our social lives? Or that painting pottery in some senior center isn’t enough to satisfy our intellectual needs? Or even that we still have intellectual needs?

Now, I do know that I’m not actually some amorphous bit of ectoplasm floating in the air; I have a body (tired as it may be), and substance. People don’t bump into me in the market; I’ve never been run over on the street or in a parking lot. I am visible, in the corporeal sense. It’s just that younger people don’t seem to care.

But I have things to say. I have experience. I’ve had a long, interesting life. I keep up with the world news, politics, show biz gossip. I know who Volodymyr Zelensky, and Elon Musk, and Taylor Swift are. I have opinions, viewpoints based on all those years of experience. I even have a sense of humor. I have a blog, for Heaven’s sake!

And the same is true of most of my contemporaries . . . the ones who haven’t gone around the bend, at any rate. I can understand if the 20-somethings, who think they possess all the wisdom of the world (and are they in for some surprises!), believe we seniors have become obsolete. But those of you in your 50s, 60s . . . even your 30s and 40s . . . well, you should know better.

And one day you will.

Because your day is coming, kids . . . sooner than you think. I’m glad I won’t be around to see your reactions when you realize that you, too, have faded from sight.

Because by then it will be too late to make amends.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/22/24

Sunday again, with yet another new addition to the list: Robert Woodland Romanov, the Russian-American dual citizen about whom I wrote at length just two days ago. Arrested on charges of drug trafficking, his case awaits resolution; but as his American citizenship renders him likely to become another of the pawns on Putin’s chess board, he has been added to our list.

*. *. *

And once again, the remainder of the list continues sadly unchanged. Please do not forget them; their families and friends haven’t. And here are their pictures as a weekly reminder that they are real, and truly suffering. In no particular order, they are:

Brendochka
4/21/24

Yes, that would be the former Mrs. Vladimir Putin, once the First Lady of the Russian Federation. We know she escaped . . . sorry, was divorced from . . . Vlad the (21st Century) Impaler. And we know what he’s been doing for the past eleven years since they split. But how has Lyudmila made out since leaving the home and hearth (if you can describe the Kremlin in such idyllic terms) of the man with whom she shared her life for thirty years?

*. *. *

Well, as it turned out, her luck seemed to change for the better. Or at least as much as we can tell from outside observations.

We will probably never know what finally caused the breakup of their long marriage, or what the terms of the divorce settlement might have been. That’s really no one’s business anyway (though I have to admit to being as curious as the next outsider). Thanks to the magic of the internet, though, we do have some information on events since the Putins announced the termination of their marriage, “based on a mutual decision,” on June 6, 2013.

First, Vlad was seen in public — a lot — with a former gymnast by the name of Alina Kabayevna . . . a beautiful example of “arm candy” some 30 years his junior. And everyone thought, “Wow! What a stud he is!” Or maybe only his envious male colleagues thought that. In any event, he was the President, and in Putin’s Russia you don’t criticize the President, so he got away with it with a minimum of snarky (public) remarks.

Alina Kabayevna, as a young gymnast

Kabayevna, reinvented as a politician, with Aleksandr Lukashenko, President of Belarus

*. *. *

I don’t know if there is an equivalent saying in Russia, but in the U.S. we say, “What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.” Reverse that, and you have the former Mrs. Putin (or Putina, in the Russian style) leaving married life behind and diving headfirst into a new life as — not a goose — but what we call a “Cougar.” And somewhere along the way, she met Artur Sergeyevich Ocheretny, some 20 years her junior, who very soon became known as Lyudmila’s “boy toy.”

Well, that’s only fair, don’t you think? If Alina is arm candy, then certainly Artur is the boy toy. There’s no gender discrimination here.

And in 2015, just two years after the Putins’ divorce, Artur (then 37) and Lyudmila (then 57) became Mr. and Mrs. Artur Ocheretny. In 2017, it was reported that they had moved to Biarritz in the south of France. Definitely an upgrade!

But who is this man who just seems to have appeared out of the blue? His biography is brief. He is a high school graduate (1995) from Lyubertsy, a town within the Moscow Oblast (Region). After high school, he founded an office equipment repair company. And at some point, he is said to have run a seafood business. From 2003-2008, he became director of something called the Art Show Center, a company that organized various types of events for United Russia, Gazprom, and others. It’s unclear what happened to his earlier entrepreneurial efforts, but it was in connection with these latter event-organizing activities that he was able to meet representatives of the “Russian elite” . . . including Lyudmila Putina. And since their marriage, they are said to have built up a multi-million-dollar portfolio of real estate and other holdings.

Not bad for a high school graduate from a town best known for its “Russian Mafia” criminal gang in the 1980s and ‘90s.

But life isn’t all peaches and cream for this exceptional couple. They are currently in the headlines because the French authorities have seized — as part of an investigation into money laundering — a palatial villa in the French southwestern coastal town of Anglet reportedly owned by a real estate company controlled by . . . anyone care to guess? . . . none other than Artur Ocheretny. A second property — a Paris apartment allegedly owned by Lyudmila Ocheretnaya — was also seized in December.

*. *. *

Whether Mr. Ocheretny turns out to be a true entrepreneur, or merely an opportunist who married his way to success, remains to be seen. But while all of this is really just fodder for the gossip columns, there is one footnote that I find absolutely hysterical. It involves that ever-amusing Kremlin spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, who always manages to crack me up when he is at his most serious.

It seems that the Kremlin — i.e., Vladimir Putin — has taken something of an interest in this matter. No reason has been given as far as I know, although several fascinating possibilities have occurred to me. But never mind about that. What Mr. Peskov has said is as follows:

“Any encroachment on private property is illegal from the onset. The French authorities are undermining the foundations of their legal system. We have said it many times.” [James Crisp, The Telegraph, April 18, 2024.]

Well . . .

What’s that saying about the pot and the kettle? Here we have the “pot” — the mouthpiece for Vladimir Putin — calling out the “kettle” — the French government — for its seizure of private property in a criminal investigation as being illegal! The Kremlin . . . the very same people who have, if I’m not mistaken, seized about 27% of Ukraine’s private property! And they’re serious! Omigod!! My stomach really hurts now! I’m sorry . . . I can’t go on . . . I’m about to wet myself.

Oh, those crazy Russians . . . they get me every time.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/21/24

It started years ago, this business of reaching — not for the stars — but in the opposite direction: for the lowest common denominator. Of making it easier for those who perhaps didn’t catch on as quickly as the rest, instead of giving them the extra help they needed to catch up, to realize they could do better, to give them a chance to do more with their lives. No; instead we consigned the rest — those of average or greater intellect — to a life of boredom and underachievement by “dumbing down” the curriculum for everyone.

And we began grading on the curve. Now, whose brilliant idea was that? Don’t give that kid in the third row the A+ he deserves, because then you’d have to give the unfortunate kid two rows behind him the failing grade he earned by not asking for help, or for being too lazy to do his homework. And never mind the slippage in the grades of all the students in the middle. So what if someone got a C instead of a well-deserved B-minus . . . right?

Wrong! Because you’ve just killed that B-minus student’s incentive to do better. Why work harder if you’re just going to be dragged down by someone else’s inability to keep up? If you’re just going to be “dumbed down”?

And why are sports any different? I’ve never been athletic, and just made it through Phys. Ed. with a respectable C because I tried. I really tried . . . and I invariably made a fool of myself. But I earned that C. Needless to say, I never joined a team, in or outside of school because I’m seriously not crazy about looking foolish, and because I didn’t want to hold a team back. But that’s not a problem today, because . . . let’s hear it . . . everybody’s a winner! Yay! Yes, you’re a little klutz. So what? So you trip over your own feet. So you can’t hit the damn softball. So you dribbled the basketball all the way to the wrong end of the court. So f**kin’ what? You’re a good kid, and you’ll make the team because everybody makes the team. And you’ll get the same trophy as the kid who scored 20 points for our side, even though we still lost because of your . . . uh . . . unfortunate tendency to screw up. Because everybody gets a trophy. Here’s yours, kid. You did great! (God forbid the little schmuck should experience the reality of disappointment in life.)

Well, dammit — no, you didn’t do great! You’re not an athlete. You shouldn’t be on the team. That’s life. It’s okay. Find something you are good at. Music, art, mechanics, spelling . . . anything that suits you. Just get off my stinkin’ team!

*. *. *

And then we began carrying it over into the rest of our lives. Having been introduced to the concept of being rewarded for doing nothing, or not doing it well, imagine the shock of finally graduating and entering the real world, only to find that not everybody makes the team, or gets hired for the plum job. What do you mean, her qualifications are better suited to the position than mine? Doesn’t everybody get a trophy? Or a great job? Or a big bonus and a raise every year?

Well, about that . . . Once you do land a decent job, you find that — once again — that old “let’s be fair to everyone” mentality has kicked in and you can actually get farther by sucking up to the boss or the personnel manager or whoever seems to carry the most weight in terms of promotions and rewards. And because so many of your fellow non-producers have whined often enough and loudly enough over the years, office policy has been changed. Now, instead of merit raises each year, everyone gets the same percentage increase. And bonuses are based on length of service. So what if that tall woman in the next cubicle works her ass off every day and saved the company hundreds of thousands of dollars last year by catching someone else’s mistake? It isn’t in her job description to do all that. Why should she get more than you do? It’s your right to leave exactly at 5:30 every afternoon, to do exactly as you’re instructed and no more. And if you can get away with playing computer games on company time now and then, where’s the harm? You’ll get your percentage at Christmas, just like Ms. Overachiever. Because she’s been dumbed down to your level.

*. *. *

I’m pretty old, and I remember the good old days of merit raises and bonuses, rewards for excellence . . . and quality entertainment. Where are those shows from early TV like Kraft Theater, Actors’ Studio, Alcoa Hour, Producers’ Showcase — shows that presented a variety of dramas, classics, comedies, and musicals? Yes, there’s Public Television in some areas, but they’re engaged in a constant struggle just to stay afloat. And what’s happened to the slightly silly, but suitable-for-the-whole-family sitcoms and Westerns that everyone could watch together? Today, if it doesn’t feature sex, violence, horror, and language that would make a longshoreman blush . . . well, then, it doesn’t fly. Because crap is what people want to see these days, in the movies, on TV, and even on the stage. And guess what? We’ve gotten what we asked for. We’ve been dumbed down again.

*. *. *

So just as I was asking myself “What’s next?” along came my answer in the form of an online ad for a new board game. Now, I love board games. My two favorites have long been Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble. (I even play online Scrabble — “Words With Friends” — with four different people, three of whom I have never met.) But what’s this I see? Someone has come up with a new version of Scrabble — one that is designed to be “less intimidating,” by being “collaborative” and “accessible.”

Excuse me??!!!

According to a statement from Mattel released earlier this month, Scrabble Together adds “a second side to the board that is collaborative and faster-paced to make gameplay more accessible for anyone who finds word games intimidating.” Instead of competing — which, silly me, I had always thought was the purpose of the game — players collaborate to complete “goal cards.” There are even “helper cards” if help is needed. [Jack Guy, CNN, April 9, 2024.]

Ray Adler, Global Head of Games (great title, by the way) at Mattel, said in the statement:

“Scrabble has truly stood the test of time as one of the most popular board games in history, and we want to ensure the game continues to be inclusive for all players. For anyone who’s ever thought, ‘word games aren’t for me,’ or felt a little intimidated by the Classic game, Scrabble Together Mode is an ideal option.” [Id.]

Well, I’ll be damned! . . . I’ve been wrong all these years. I’ve always thought that learning was a good thing; that improving one’s vocabulary was a form of learning; that life’s challenges led to greater achievements; and that friendly competition was healthy. That there were wins and losses throughout life, and if you lost one, you tried harder for the win next time. Where did I go wrong? Apparently, I was just born too soon.

Because according to Mattel’s research among British board-gamers, it seems that “competitiveness is perceived as declining in younger generations. Of the 2,000 people surveyed, 35% believed baby boomers are the most competitive, followed by millennials on 31% and Gen-Z on 29%.” According to Brett Smitheram, the current UK #1 Scrabble player and 2016 World Scrabble Champion, “The game speaks to a trend in younger people who want to avoid competitive games, instead favouring teamwork and collaboration working towards a fun goal together.” [Id.]

Mr. Smitheram did not favor us with his opinion on the dumbing down of his game. But I’ll bet I can guess.

And I can’t wait to see what they try to do to the noble game of chess.

*. *. *

So there you have it: a world gone apathetic . . . ignorant . . . indifferent . . . just plain blah. No ambition, no desire or incentive to excel, no concern about the future of a world in which everything is done and decided by committee. No Einsteins, no Mme. Curies, no Mozarts, no Edisons. Everyone the same, reaching for that lowest common denominator.

A world gone dead.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/20/24

Here’s one I’m surprised I hadn’t heard of before now: Robert Woodland Romanov, facing drug charges in Moscow.

Unlike Brittney Griner, the American basketball star who was arrested upon arrival in Moscow last year with a minuscule amount of cannabis oil in her luggage, U.S. citizen Robert Woodland (a.k.a Robert Romanov, or any combination thereof) has been charged with “trafficking large amounts of illegal drugs,” allegedly as part of an organized group — a crime that carries a possible sentence of up to 20 years in prison. Needless to say, his situation is dire. Drug trafficking charges are not a laughing matter anywhere; but in Russia, especially for a foreign citizen (and an American, at that), his case presents a golden opportunity for the government to gain a new hostage for their perennial swap fest.

Mr. Romanov was taken into custody in January, with a trial beginning in late March in the Ostankino District Court. A new court hearing is scheduled some time “next week.”

According to Russian media, Romanov’s name “matches that of a U.S. citizen interviewed by the popular daily Komsomolskaya Pravda in 2020.” [Associated Press, April 15, 2024.] The AP report continued:

“In the interview, the man said that he was born in the Perm region in the Ural Mountains in 1991 and was adopted by an American couple when he was 2. He said that he traveled to Russia to find his Russian mother and eventually met her on a TV show in Moscow.

“The man told Komsomolskaya Pravda that he liked living in Russia and decided to move there. The newspaper reported that he settled in the town of Dolgoprudny just outside Moscow and was working as an English teacher at a local school.”

The Facebook page for one Robert Woodland indicates as his alternate name “Roman Askhatovich Romanov,” and the picture clearly resembles the man currently on trial in Moscow.

There didn’t seem to be any doubt in the minds of Russian authorities as to the identity of Woodland-Romanov when he was arrested in January of this year. According to The Moscow Times report of January 9, 2024, he was taken into custody on January 6th and placed in detention for a period of two months, until March 5th. He stands accused of the “illegal acquisition, storage, transportation, manufacture, processing” of drugs, for which he could face 10-20 years in prison. He was reportedly caught “purchasing 4.5 grams of an unidentified drug with the intent of selling it later.” The substance in question was said to be a synthetic narcotic known as mephedrone. [The Moscow Times, Jan. 9, 2024.]

*. *. *

The U.S. State Department has said that it was aware of reports of the detention of a U.S. citizen, and that it “has no greater priority than the safety and security of U.S. citizens overseas.” But they chose to make no further comment, citing “privacy considerations.” [Associated Press, April 15, 2024.]

And so, as a dual U.S.-Russian citizen, Robert Woodland Romanov finds his place on my list of hostages being held in Russian prisons. In his case — unlike the obviously political arrests of anti-Putin dissidents — the charges against him appear to be purely of a criminal nature. Whether he was guilty or — not impossibly — set up, we may never know. But it is likely that he will become a pawn in the Russian human trade wars.

*. *. *

In the 2020 Komsomolskaya Pravda interview, Woodland-Romanov said: “I always understood that I was Russian, but I didn’t do much to learn the history of my homeland. Now I’m here. I’ve decided to stay in my home country forever.”

I wonder what he thinks about that decision now.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/19/24

How about, simply: “Where’s Russell?”

Honestly, sometimes people’s lives get so screwed up, it‘s beyond the comprehension of even the most imaginative fiction writer. Think of John le Carre, then multiply his protagonists in Smiley’s People or The Spy Who Came In From the Cold by a weirdness factor of ten, and you’ve got this guy shown below.

Yes, the very self-satisfied-looking gentleman in the photo is an American — a Texan, in fact — who somehow wound up “reinvent[ing] himself as a renegade war hero in a fake Russian republic” some ten years ago, and then this week “was allegedly abducted by Russian troops — after apparently being accused of being a CIA spy.” [Allison Quinn, Daily Beast, April 17, 2024.]

Is it any wonder that this story caught my eye in yesterday’s news? Here is a good old boy from Dallas, Texas, Russell Bentley, who was having a hard time keeping his life together with a conviction on drug charges on his record. So in 2014, he decides to become a war hero by fighting on the Russian side in the first invasion of eastern Ukraine. After a few years he declares himself a “combat veteran,” which he next uses as a qualification to work as a “journalist” for the Kremlin-controlled media, spreading propaganda about the alleged Nazi regime in Ukraine. On the basis of his six-year record in Russia, he obtains Russian citizenship in 2020. He has been living until now among Russian troops in the illegally Russian-occupied Ukrainian region of Donetsk, from which he allegedly disappeared earlier this month.

Perhaps Bentley’s story didn’t receive a great deal of publicity in 2014, but I still can’t understand how I missed it. At the time, though, it would probably have been treated as just a case of one misguided individual changing his allegiance from the U.S. to Russia — a sad story, but not yet bizarre enough to attract a whole lot of attention.

Apparently, even his recent disappearance wasn’t widely noticed until about a week later, when his wife, Lyudmila, decided to make a fuss. She claimed he had been “brutally detained” and taken hostage by Russian troops on April 8th, accused of having been embedded as a CIA mole for the past ten years.

Oh-oh! That can’t be good.

Now, I know I shouldn’t judge people on the basis of appearances, and especially when I haven’t actually met them. But looking at Russell Bentley’s picture (the real one, not the cartoon), he looks about as much like a CIA spy as someone’s pet hound dog. To my mind he appears . . . well . . . simple.

But think about it. Wouldn’t that be the perfect cover for a spy? Isn’t that the sort of person you would least suspect of being able to carry off that level of subterfuge? His wife and friends proclaim his innocence, as one would expect. But isn’t it possible that they too have been led astray all these years? But on the other hand, perhaps he has just been trying to reinvent himself yet again . . . this time as James Bond . . . and gone a little too far.

His current troubles allegedly began when he was seen photographing sites of shelling or mortar damage — photos that would be considered inappropriate by the Russian government under the laws prohibiting “insulting” of the Russian military. Even if that is indeed the only thing he is suspected of having done, he might still be facing a possible 15-year prison sentence. But if he is accused of spying for an unfriendly government — in this case, the “main enemy,” i.e., the United States — well, that’s a whole new ball game: Treason. And that’s life in prison. Or death.

*. *. *

Now, as we await further word on the whereabouts and ultimate fate of Russell Bentley, I must hold off on adding him to my list of political hostages currently imprisoned in Russia. That will obviously depend on many factors — where he has been, if he has indeed been taken by Russian forces, what (if anything) he has been charged with . . . and if he is even found alive. So stay tuned as I keep eyes and ears open for developments. And hope for the best outcome for the absent, and very puzzling, Mr. Bentley.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/18/24

Warts and all, they really love their toads in Russia. And here is a little story about that.

On the shores of the Gulf of Finland, at the edge of the majestic City of St. Petersburg, Russia, lies the Sestroretsk Swamp.

And within this protected wetlands reserve is a nearly three-mile-long eco path that is said to be a popular walking trail with the local folks. But the area is heavily populated by gray toads. And since it is now early spring in St. Petersburg, the gray toads are doing what gray toads do in the spring: they’re getting ready to migrate.

“But the problem now is
That to reach that swamp,
There’s a busy highway
That the toad must tromp.”

Aw, jeez . . . Forgive me, but this story just cries out to become a folk song; and the tune of “Gonna Build A Mountain” keeps running through my tortured mind.

Anyway, it seems the toads must cross this busy road for some reason . . . most likely to get to the other side where the girl toads presumably live . . . thus endangering their lives. (If you’ve ever seen the drivers in Russia, you’ll understand this.) So the good people at the Sestroretsk Swamp Reserve are seeking volunteers, as they do each year, to undertake rigorous training in order to be able to escort the toads safely to their spawning grounds.

Okay, I’m sorry, but the mental image of this whole thing is just too funny. Supposedly normal people are volunteering their time to stop traffic so that these . . . let’s be honest now . . . seriously unattractive little critters can reach their destination and . . . well, you know. And I’m finding it really difficult to concentrate, because that tune is still invading my twisted brain.

“And when he gets there,
What’s he gonna do?
He’s gonna jump his little girlfriend,
Giving her a royal . . .”

Yeah, I’m really sorry now. But how irresistible is this story?!!

*. *. *

In any event, the point of this sordid song of the swamp — regardless of whatever you may think of me by now — is not to examine the sex lives of Russia’s gray toads, but rather to point out a peculiarity common to most Russian government officials. And that is, that they seem to value their animals far more than they do their people. People, after all, can turn against their leaders, and thus are dangerous and expendable; animals, on the other hand, are loyal and vital to the natural environment, and must be preserved.

So if the toads need crossing guards, then crossing guards they shall have, even if it means mobilizing every 60-year-old in the greater St. Petersburg area. Remember: In Russia, “Mobilizations Я Us.”

*. *. *

But what if, in some unforeseen, terrifyingly science-fiction way, those pampered (not to mention hormonal) amphibians — having become accustomed to being around their human helpers — began to take on human characteristics and were heard to croak out negative opinions about, say, the war in Ukraine, or the elimination of the liberal media? How would the government apparatchiks deal with these precious souls then?

Ooh, no-o-o-o-o-o!!! Froggy prison! No crossing the road for you, big fella. No little girl toad waiting anxiously for her lover boy to show up in that boggy bordello by the boulevard. And no conjugal visits in this prison colony either. If only you’d taken my advice and kept your big mouth shut, you could be a proud papa by now. And so, I can’t resist saying it:

“I toad you so!”

THE END

*. *. *

And yes, dear reader, there is a moral to this “Grimm” fairy tale . . . and you already know what it is. We are, after all, talking about Russia.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/17/24

In the early 1980s, there was a story circulating around the business world about the rivalry between Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola and their race to be the first to enter the newly opened market in China. Coke had won the race in 1979, and they thought they had an exclusive sewn up in their joint venture agreement. But they hadn’t counted on the provision in the agreement that, in any dispute between the parties, the Chinese-language version of the agreement would prevail. No big deal . . . until Coke’s translator fell asleep at the wheel.

Because at some point, Pepsi learned of an overlooked little glitch in that Chinese-language document, wherein the word “exclusive” was, upon further close examination, definitely missing. Absent. Not there at all.

“Holy shit!” said the people at Coca-Cola. “Yippee!” said the folks at Pepsi. And in 1981 the people of China, for the first time ever, had their choice of Western cola beverages.

To this day, I can’t swear that that story is completely accurate, but it was told to me back in the ‘80s by someone in a position to know. And it became part of the folk lore of Chinese-American trade relations.

True or not, it remains a lesson for the present day: the Chinese people are very smart; they plan far into the future; and in the world of politics, they are not above playing dirty . . . as evidenced by their present relationship with Russia. Which is what I’ve been leading up to all along . . . in case you hadn’t guessed.

*. *. *

You see, back in the ‘80s, China and the Soviet Union were not the best of friends. But, as happens frequently throughout the course of history, relationships ebb and flow; and today, the two despots at the helms of their respective countries appear to have kissed and made up. To paraphrase the ever-so-quotable Will Shakespeare, political necessity certainly does “acquaint a man with strange bedfellows.”

In fact, at a summit meeting in Beijing just six months ago, Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping declared each other “old and dear friends.” And this week, on April 9th, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was also hosted by President Xi at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing. And you know that these were not social calls.

No, indeed they were not. Because this “friendship” is all about business. China’s sales to Russia of machine tools, microelectronics, and other technology have vastly increased of late — items that, while not weaponry in and of themselves — are being used to produce missiles, tanks, aircraft and the like, for use in Russia’s war against Ukraine. In addition to the provision of tools and technology, “Chinese and Russian entities have also been working to jointly produce unmanned aerial vehicles inside Russia, and Chinese companies are likely providing Russia with nitrocellulose used in the manufacture of ammunition . . . China-based companies . . . are providing optical components for use in Russian tanks and armored vehicles.” Further, “Beijing is also working with Russia to improve its satellite and other space-based capabilities for use in Ukraine, a development the officials say could in the longer term increase the threat Russia poses across Europe.” [Aamer Madhani, Associated Press, April 12, 2024, citing unnamed Biden administration sources.]

Then there’s the matter of China’s ignoring the international sanctions against trade with Russia — not to mention the arrest warrant issued, and still outstanding, against Vladimir Putin by the International Criminal Court, for the illegal deportation of minors from Ukraine.

*. *. *

And here is where we run into that sticky verbiage issue. Because China continues to insist that it is not providing Russia with arms or military assistance. Well, maybe not directly . . . but . . . well, uh . . . I don’t know . . . what do you think?

Semantics? Or, perhaps, out-and-out bullshit. Why don’t we ask Coke and Pepsi.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
4/16/24