When Donald Trump coined the term, “Trump Derangement Syndrome,” he meant it to apply to people who disagree with him, who must therefore — in his view — be deranged. But in fact, it is the perfect definition of his own mental state. And the last couple of months have brought clear evidence of it, as he attempts to gobble up country after country: Greenland, Panama, Canada, Venezuela, Iran, Cuba.

The conclusion is as plain as day:

HE THINKS HE’S PAC-MAN!

Emulating the voracious little computerized glutton of the 1980s, Trump began his culinary orgy by practicing on his home turf, swallowing whole the U.S. Congress, Supreme Court, Departments of Defense, Justice, and Health & Human Services, several major media outlets, a couple of universities, and one or two law firms, among others.

Once they had been digested, he was ready to start on the rest of the world. Totally frustrated by the lack of enthusiasm from the highly intelligent people of Canada and Greenland, and seemingly having lost interest in Panama, he decided to approach his next targets in a more, shall we say, forceful manner.

For a while, he got his jollies by remotely picking off small boats suspected of carrying drugs in the general direction of the U.S., double-tapping the few survivors of the initial blasts, and claiming victory in his “war on drugs.” But that just whetted his appetite for more.

Literally pulling out the big guns, he sent a military SWAT team to Caracas, captured the president and first lady as they slept, killed 100 or more Venezuelan defenders, and declared that he was now in charge of the country’s government . . . oh, and by the way, its massive oil reserves.

Following that success, he apparently forgot that he was supposed to be the “Peace President,” left Ukraine to its own devices, and dove right into his next adventure. Like a gambling addict at the high-stakes blackjack tables in Vegas, he figured he was on a roll. And since he’d already made diplomatic overtures and verbal threats to Iran . . . well, what the hell . . . why not take it to the next level?

Never mind that denuclearization talks were ongoing, and showing significant progress. And forget about the alleged “obliteration” of that country’s nuclear capabilities some months earlier. He insisted that they were nearly up and running again (a physical impossibility, but so what?). And where was the fun in talking? So, from his weekend retreat in Florida, where he was hunkered down with his team of “expert” strategists — and already having decided that Iran was presenting a clear and present danger to Israel and the United States despite all intelligence reports to the contrary — he sent his bombers to Tehran, where they executed a clean strike on the reigning Ayatollah.

During the week since then, as his forces have continued to attack — and, to no one’s surprise other than Trump’s, as Iran has retaliated against neighboring U.S. allies — he has leap-frogged from allegations of “imminent nuclear threat” to “regime change for the sake of the Iranian people” and back again, not quite sure which excuse would play better with the American voters. But yesterday, the truth came out: he insists that he will get to decide who will be in charge of Iran’s government hereafter. And it’s okay with him if it’s another religious leader, despite the fact that it would clearly mean there would be no real regime change.

While much of the world expresses fear that we may be on the brink of World War III, Trump optimistically predicts “total victory” in Iran within a few weeks at most, saying:

“Iran is not the same country it was a week ago. A week ago they were powerful, and now they’ve been indeed neutered.” [Dana Bash, CNN, March 6, 2026.]

He also said choosing a new leader would be a piece of cake:

“It’s gonna work very easily. It’s going to work like [it] did in Venezuela. We have a wonderful leader there. [Delcy Rodriguez is] doing a fantastic job. And it’s going to work like in Venezuela.” [Id.]

(He obviously didn’t read my article where I tried to explain to him that Iran is not Venezuela. Oh, well . . . I tried.)

Asked whether he would be amenable to having another religious leader in Iran, he responded:

“Well I may be yeah, I mean, it depends on who the person is. I don’t mind religious leaders. I deal with a lot of religious leaders and they are fantastic.” [Id.]

And when questioned on whether he would insist on the creation of a democratic state in Iran, he said:

“No, I’m saying there has to be a leader that’s going [to] be fair and just. Do a great job. Treat the United States and Israel well, and treat the other countries in the Middle East — they’re all our partners.” [Id.]

“What the f*ck . . . ?!!”

Next — sounding more and more like an old Soviet leader announcing the country’s next five-year plan — he moved on to the subject of Cuba:

“Cuba is gonna fall pretty soon, by the way, unrelated, but Cuba is gonna fall too. They want to make a deal so badly. They want to make a deal, and so I’m going to put Marco (Rubio) over there and we’ll see how that works out. We’re really focused on this one right now. We’ve got plenty of time, but Cuba’s ready — after 50 years. … I’ve been watching it for 50 years, and it’s fallen right into my lap because of me, it’s fallen, but it’s nevertheless fallen right into the lap. And we’re doing very well.”

*. *. *

Sadly, this is a man in need of a rubber room, and a long, long rest. But instead of retiring peacefully to his Mar-a-Lago playground, he is playing Pac-Man with some of the world’s most volatile nations.

But even Pac-Man’s seemingly insatiable appetite ran into impediments. Remember the four ghosts: Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde? With any luck, Trump’s “ghosts” — the United Nations, NATO, the EU, and the American people — will figure out a way to stop him before we all go up in flames.

We can only hope.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
3/7/26