Early morning insomnia, followed by intermittent grogginess, with a likelihood of becoming comatose later in the evening.

Clearly, that was not the weather report; it was a rundown of my day today.

I am a confessed night owl — not recovering, not trying to recover, just resigned to the fact that my body clock runs on a different cycle than most people’s. I’m generally in bed by about 2:30 a.m., asleep by 3:00 (or sooner), and ready to greet the day some time after noon. Being retired does have its advantages.

Last night, however, I was still looking over at the clock at 3:00, 3:30, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, and finally 5:30, when my bladder told me I’d better get out of bed or I’d regret it. So I got up, did as Mother Nature suggested, and decided not to go back to the bed that had been victimized by three hours of my thrashing around trying without success to find a comfortable spot.

I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t upset about anything in particular . . . well, except, you know, the daily news. But nothing I could point to specifically. I was just wide awake. So I went into the den, turned on the light, shut the door, and picked up the book I had just started yesterday, figuring my eyelids would begin to droop after a few pages.

But it’s a Dan Brown novel — you know, the author of The Da Vinci Code — so about 90 pages later I was still wide awake and thoroughly engrossed. I finally put the book down and picked up a crossword puzzle book; I’ve been known to fall asleep while working my way through those when my eyelids are already at half-mast.

Three puzzles later, and all I had accomplished was the consumption of a good deal of sugar-free, decaffeinated liquid, and an intimate acquaintance with the names of some obscure European rivers and words containing three sets of double letters. (FYI, the only one with three consecutive sets of doubles is “bookkeeper.”)

Okay, by now it’s 8:00 a.m., the sun has been up for over an hour, and Ma Nature is calling again. After another trip to the w.c., I decided to give Morpheus one more shot, and finally did fall asleep . . . only to dream that I was having trouble sleeping. My eyes snapped open — literally — just before 1:00 p.m., and although I had only had about four hours of slumber, I figured I’d face the day and probably drift off later for a little chair nap and the usual stiff neck that inevitably follows.

But no. As groggy as I’ve felt all day, my eyes still won’t shut, despite more reading, crossword puzzles, a late lunch, and now tapping away on my iPad. I don’t know for sure what’s causing the problem, but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably Donald Trump’s fault.

Seriously . . . isn’t everything?

I guess I’ll just start on tomorrow’s blog until dinnertime, and see what happens.

And maybe I should skip the coffee Haagen-Dazs tonight.

Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
3/4/26