If you’re an Alaskan brown bear, being obese is not only a good thing; it’s absolutely essential to getting you through the long winter’s hibernation. And if you’re really motivated, and eat your weight in salmon before heading into Lullaby-Land, you might even be the winner of the annual (since 2014) Fat Bear Week contest.

I won’t keep you in suspense. This year’s winner was none other than bear No. 32, better known — appropriately — as Chunk.

In the week-long lead-up to the big finale, the 12 contenders were followed by camera around Alaska’s Katmai National Park and Preserve while their online fans voted for their favorites. Chunk’s chances of victory were threatened when he sustained a jaw injury — possibly during a mating season fight with another testosterone-laden competitor — that could have affected his ability to satisfy his other voracious appetite (for salmon). But he persevered, until finally the voting narrowed the contestants down to the winner and runner-up: Chunk and Bear 856 (who doesn’t seem to have a nickname).

Weighing in at around 1,200 pounds, Chunk defeated Bear 856 by a final tally of 96,350 votes to 63,725 — a majority that even Donald Trump would have difficulty challenging. [Phil Helsel, NBC News, October 1, 2025.]

So he (Chunk, not Trump) starts out the winter season with enough excess avoirdupois to allow him to snore his way happily through to spring. And the people of Alaska — not to mention the tens of thousands of voting fans around the world who find the contest un-bear-ably adorable — have their new champion for the 2025-26 season.

But before Chunk lumbers into his cave for that long winter’s nap, I would like to offer him this word of encouragement:

Never mind what Pete Hegseth says; on you, fat is a good look!

Sweet dreams, big guy.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
10/2/25