Today is National Simp Day in the United States.

Today is National Simp Day in the United States.

(It’s also Repeat Day, so I felt I should do something to acknowledge that as well. And it’s National Egg Day, but the price of eggs being what it is, I’ll skip the omelets this year.)

But back to National Simp Day. I had never heard of it, and had to look it up. Merriam-Webster defines “simp” as, first, a foolish or stupid person, as in “simpleton.” A secondary definition is “someone (especially a man) who shows excessive concern, attention, or deference toward a romantic partner or love interest.” In other words, every independent woman’s worst nightmare.

However, the definitions continue. “Simp” can also be a verb, meaning “to show excessive devotion to or longing for someone or something.” And as an example of the use of the verb in this sense, the Merriam-Webster dictionary offers this quote by one John James:

“A Brazilian influencer has taken simping for the richest man on earth to a new level by getting Elon Musk’s name … tattooed across his forehead.”

Yeah . . . I’d say that fits.

But why stop there? I would like to proclaim Simp Day an official national holiday, and dedicate it to all of those members of the U.S. Cabinet, Senate, House of Representatives, Supreme Court, and every other government official, billionaire, and ordinary private citizen eager to sell their souls for an invitation to Mar-a-Lago.

And if all those Middle Eastern potentates throwing money, precious metals, and the occasional luxury jet plane at Donald Trump would like to join in the celebration being held, somewhat belatedly, on June 14th, they are more than welcome. I’m sure our visa restrictions would be waived for them . . . for the right price.

It should be quite a bash, with a military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue, fireworks, and plenty of opportunity to pledge allegiance to the birthday boy.

Personally, I’ll pass. And if you’re not into simping, you may want to join me in celebrating our traditional national holiday — Independence Day — on July 4th. Ours will be a casual affair, probably featuring burgers and barbecued chicken on the grill, corn on the cob, and plenty of lemonade and beer to wash it down. And we’ll be celebrating the founding of our great country . . . the one that doesn’t need to be made great again . . . with our neighbors at the annual local fireworks display.

That’s my kind of simp-licity.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
6/3/25