I’ve been away from Washington for five years now, and — as I’ve mentioned at least a few thousand times — I still miss it. It’s lovely and peaceful here in the country, but I’m a city girl, and I guess I’ll never change.

But lately, I find that I have fewer and fewer reasons to miss D.C. There are my old friends, of course, and my long-time doctors, dentist and hairdresser. I miss the familiar landmarks, buildings, perpendicular streets, and street signs on every corner. I still can’t tell one live oak tree from another, and there is no pattern to these country roads. Two miles from home, and I’m hopelessly lost. City streets are more logical.

And I have longed for the variety of activities that Washington offers: the theaters, museums, restaurants of every ethnicity, shops . . . you name it. Only now, I fear I would find that changed, and not for the better. I would not, for example, attend a Kennedy Center whose programming has been gutted by the anti-DEI forces of the current administration . . . and the loss of so many of the best performers who honorably refuse to appear there.

Nor would I enjoy roaming the numerous buildings of the Smithsonian Institution, only to find history being rewritten or erased entirely.

I hate to think that my favorite ethnic restaurants may be gone, their owners, chefs and wait staff summarily deported to some third-world country not their own.

And yesterday I read that some hare-brained Republican congressman from Florida — oh, what the hell! let’s name him — Greg Steube has introduced a bill to rename the Washington, D.C., subway system, long known as the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (or WMATA), calling it instead the Washington Metropolitan Authority for Greater Access, or . . . drumroll please . . .

WMAGA.

And if that isn’t a sufficient suck-up to the emperor in the White House, he also wants to name the Metrorail system . . .

“The Trump Train.”

Oops, sorry . . . wrong fantasy!

But it’s not as though Steube hasn’t given this careful thought. Here is his rationalization:

“WMATA has received billions in federal assistance over the years and continues to face operational, safety, and fiscal challenges. In the spirit of DOGE, this bill demands accountability by conditioning federal funding on reforms that signal a cultural shift away from bureaucratic stagnation toward public-facing excellence and patriotism.” [Emily Brooks, The Hill, May 29, 2025.]

There is one word in that paragraph that worries me: patriotism. Because by “patriotism,” this administration really means — not love of one’s country — but all-encompassing, unquestioning, worshipful loyalty and obeisance to the exalted leader in the Oval Office. And that is to be a prerequisite for the privilege of being allowed to continue to exist.

By the way — in case you’re not already sufficiently impressed — Steube’s bill is only one of a number that have been introduced by Republicans taking advantage of Donald Trump’s name or brand. For example, Representative Addison McDowell of North Carolina proposes to name Washington Dulles International Airport after Trump (thereby erasing the memory of the late John Foster Dulles); and Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina has introduced a bill to issue a $250-denomination currency featuring Trump’s portrait. [Id.]

Hey, wait a second . . . aren’t those honors usually reserved for dead people?

At this point, I couldn’t help doing a little fantasizing of my own, and I have come up with a wonderful idea that would probably only add a few hundred million more dollars to Trump’s proposed budget increase of $3.8 trillion: How about a larger-than-life-size statue — gold-plated, of course — of himself in every traffic circle in Washington? Since there are about 36 major traffic circles, each containing its own little park, you wouldn’t be able to travel more than a few blocks without gazing upon his shiny countenance at least once.

If that isn’t worthy of Julius Caesar himself . . . well, I don’t know what is!

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/30/25