Are there any positions remaining to be filled in the upper echelon of the Trump administration? Or anyone about to be the first to quit or be fired? If so, I have the perfect candidate to fill the slot:

Meet . . . the Blue-Footed Booby.

It doesn’t matter which position is open; qualifications for the job aren’t important. At least, they haven’t been so far this year. And this Booby at least looks alert, possibly even intelligent, and raring to go. And he’s seriously cute.

It’s true that he would have to be imported from the Galapagos Islands, but I’m sure ICE would find a way to waive the new immigration restrictions for this guy, if the boss tells them to. I mean, if they can do it for white South African “asylum seekers” . . .

In fact, I think I already have the perfect spot for him: Surgeon General of the United States. I know Donald Trump has someone else in mind — a dropout doctor and current “wellness influencer,” seller of medical devices and supplements, and practitioner of something called “functional medicine.” Her name is Casey Means. Together with her brother, Calley Means, she published “Good Energy” — a book that supposedly became popular with Trump campaign staffers and with that most notable of snake-oil salesmen, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. [Liz Essley Whyte, Wall Street Journal, May 7, 2025.]

According to her Wikipedia profile, her medical license has been inactive since 2024. But no matter.

While Means did manage to get through Stanford University, she dropped out of her surgical residency, saying she was frustrated by what she considered medicine’s “inability to treat patients’ underlying, chronic causes of ill health.” She achieved some prominence after being interviewed by the likes of Tucker Carlson and podcaster Joe Rogan. She says that “The system is rigged against the American patient to create diseases and then profit off of them.” [WSJ, op.cit.]

Not surprisingly, her views are sometimes in conflict with those of public health officials, including her questioning of the safety of vaccines (though not publicly identifying as an anti-vaxxer). Consider, for example, her comments on the efficacy of raw milk:

“When it comes to a question like raw milk, I want to be free to form a relationship with a local farmer, understand his integrity, look him in the eyes, pet his cow, and then decide if I feel safe to drink the milk from his farm.” [Id.]

So . . . meet a farmer, pet a cow, ignore proven scientific research, become Surgeon General. The new fast track to success.

But — and call me crazy, if you like — somehow I’d feel safer in the hands (or wings) of a Blue-Footed Booby, rather than a couple of screwball human ones.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
5/9/25