I know you’ve felt it: that exhaustion that is more than simple end-of-the-workday tired, more than just-ran-a-10k tired, and way more than restless-night tired. It’s the kind that leaves you sitting around in your pajamas all day, barely able to pick up the remote to change the TV channel, let alone shuffle into the kitchen for some much-needed sustenance.

Yup . . . it’s that kind of tired. You know you look like death warmed over, but you’re too tired to care. You need to pay some bills, but they can wait until tomorrow, because doing it now would involve picking up your laptop and logging into your accounts. And you really need a shower, but there’s no one else around so who’s going to give a crap?

And it’s not just today; lately, it’s been almost every day. But just as you’re beginning to worry that it could be a serious health issue, you read an article that says, first, you might want to check with your doctor (that’s so you don’t sue the magazine if it turns out you really are sick); and second, if you follow that good advice and your doctor doesn’t find anything wrong with you, you’re probably just bored, depressed, stressed, or all three . . . which, considering the current state of the world, would not be surprising.

Or — says the article — you could have . . .

CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME!

And suddenly, there it is: the epiphany you’ve been waiting for. You’ve got that thing that doctors fall back on when all the tests and scans and exams have shown that you’re as healthy as a Budweiser Clydesdale — for your age, that is.

But wait — what was that the doctor said? “For your age”?!! Did you hear what you think you heard? Did that medical genius just tell you you’re getting OLD??!!!

But that’s not possible . . . or is it? So you look yourself over.

Complexion: A few lines and wrinkles (actually, more than a few).
Figure: Damn that gravity!
Tummy: Hey! Where did those abs go, anyway?
Teeth: About half real, half fake.
Hair: Used to be thicker. Also used to be darker and shinier.
Eyebrows: What eyebrows?

And so it goes, right past the deflated boobs and the saggy bottom, all the way down to the toenail fungus. Finally, you leave your chair and hobble over to the full-length mirror, where you force yourself to face the awful truth:

Well, no wonder you’re tired, you flaming idiot! Because while you weren’t looking . . . while you were busy living your life, studying, working, raising a family, partying, traveling, whatever . . . six or seven or eight decades have flown by. And there isn’t a damned thing you can do about it.

But give it some thought. Haven’t those years been full of some really good stuff: the study, work, family, parties, travel, and whatever? Haven’t you accomplished a few worthwhile things you can be proud of? And hasn’t at least some of it been an absolute blast?

Unless you’ve been hiding in a cave since you hit puberty, then most likely the answer is a resounding YES! And you realize you’ve earned every one of those little lines and wrinkles, and you’ve worked your ass off until it has an absolute right to sag.

And you may be exhausted, and you may even be a little depressed at times. But you’re still breathing . . . there’s still Haagen-Dazs in the freezer . . . and there’s still plenty of wine in the bottle.

So enjoy this time, sweetheart . . . whatever is left of it. You’ve earned it.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
2/19/25