People are dying in the war between Russia and Ukraine, and the on-again-off-again-on-again war between Israel and Hamas. Other people are dying from famine in Somalia, and the brutality of the current regime in the Central African Republic. And still more people have been left homeless by natural disasters all over the face of the globe. Then there’s that global warming issue, and something called foreign relations.

But I’m sure you’re all as happy as I am to know that, despite all of the chaos, one vital issue has been successfully resolved: those “disgusting” paper straws that “don’t work” are once again being replaced by the sturdier, cleaner — though non-biodegradable — plastic ones.

“These things don’t work, I’ve had them many times, and on occasion, they break, they explode. If something’s hot, they don’t last very long, like a matter of minutes, sometimes a matter of seconds. It’s a ridiculous situation,” says the man in the White House about the paper variety. [Bernd Debusmann Jr., BBC News, February 10, 2025.]

And so, with a few strokes of his bold-tipped Sharpie, he has declared it holy writ: Bring back the plastic.

Wow! I feel so much better now, knowing that I won’t be in danger of possibly losing an eye from an exploding paper straw. And that I can drink a cup of steaming hot tea or coffee through a straw now . . . although it’s not something I’ve ever thought of doing in the past, or seen anyone else do. But still . . . at least I know I could if I wanted to.

And I’ll sleep better tonight, because my government — amidst all of the crises out there to be dealt with — has got my back in the matter of paper vs. plastic straws.

What a relief!

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
2/12/25