What would happen? It’s simple:

The old folks would reclaim the world, and send the last two generations back to school.

Because without the calculators, they couldn’t do basic arithmetic, let alone this thing called “Common Core” math.

Without a GPS, they couldn’t find their way to the nearest emergency room or sushi restaurant.

And without Google, they’d have to learn to use a card index in a building called “a Library” — if they could even find their way to the Library without a GPS.

They’d have to learn to speak to people face-to-face, because there would be no email or texting. They’d also have to learn to use a telephone attached to a wall in a building or a phone booth. But first they’d have to look up the number in a big, heavy phone book.

And they’d have to go into a bunch of different stores to shop, because there would be no Amazon. (Sorry, Jeff Bezos.)

They’d have to start wearing a watch to know what time it is . . . which, of course, would necessitate learning to read an analog clock.

Typing would be on an actual typewriter, using all eight fingers, with the right thumb reserved for the space bar. By the way, let me introduce you to carbon paper, typewriter erasers, and something called White-Out, which smells odd but won’t really get you high.

And while we’re designing the curriculum for this re-education program, let’s teach the young folks how to write in cursive, just for the fun of it.

Travel would be more interesting, too. Flying would require calls to various airlines for flight times and fares, and a visit to the airline office to pick up your paper tickets. For a road trip, you might want to call the AAA (American Automobile Association) for a TripTik, to map out your routes and make your hotel reservations.

Want to watch a movie? We’re not going back to the Stone Age, so you could still do this at home . . . but only at the scheduled time on one of the dozen or so TV channels. Or you could buy a VCR and a whole library of VHS tapes of your favorite flicks.

Because there wouldn’t be anything “on demand.” Life would be slower — but would that really be such a bad thing?

Sure, we’d miss all of our tech “stuff” if it were taken away from us now. But for those of us who grew up without it, that slower life was somehow easier, and quieter, and more friendly. And sometimes I miss it. It might be nice to reconnect to the human side of life.

But on the other hand, you wouldn’t have been reading my blog back in those low-tech days, because the concept of a “blog” didn’t exist yet. So maybe . . . just maybe . . . our tech stuff isn’t all bad.

The jury is still out on AI, though. That shit really scares me.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
12/28/24