No, it’s not the Winter Solstice that has me excited. In fact, I’ll be glad when the daylight hours become noticeably longer. But there is more to this date than just the “honor” of being the shortest day of the year.

For example, it’s National Crossword Puzzle Day. I do enjoy exercising my brain with a puzzle or two — they say it helps to ward off dementia, and . . . at the risk of jinxing myself . . . so far, so good. But that’s not it either.

It’s also National Coquito Day — honoring a yummy-sounding drink sometimes referred to as a Puerto Rican eggnog, but with condensed milk, coconut milk and rum, among other ingredients. I could easily get into that . . . but it’s not the big day, either.

National French Fried Shrimp Day sounds tempting as well . . . especially if accompanied by one or two of those coquito concoctions.

But I’ll get to the point. (“At last,” I hear you sigh.)

It’s National Short Girl Appreciation Day.

Did someone just say “So what?”

“SO WHAT??!!!” I’ll tell you so what!

So this: If you had topped off at 5 ft. 2-1/2 in. around age 18; if you had developed arthritis in your neck from always having to look up at people in order to speak to them; if you had always been stuck sitting in the front row in school, right where the teacher could keep an eye on you; if you always had to buy theater tickets in the first row of the first balcony so you didn’t get stuck behind a tall person in the orchestra seats; if you had spent your entire life apologizing to strangers because you had to ask for help reaching items on the top shelf at the super market; if you had to climb onto a step stool to put away the dishes anywhere above the first shelf in your kitchen cupboards; and if you had watched yourself for the past 20 years becoming even shorter as your intervertebral spaces shrank naturally with age . . .

. . . well, then, you might not be smirking now. Because being described as “petite” or “cute” just isn’t enough. Short women aren’t taken as seriously as our taller sisters. It’s hard to project an air of confidence or authority when everyone else is looking down at you, or when yo/u’re barely visible in a crowd.

And it’s a pain in the ass to have to take every item of clothing to a tailor to be shortened. Seriously . . . when did a 28-inch inseam classify as “petite”? I’ll tell you when: never! Not when your legs only measure 25 inches.

There are a few exceptions, of course. Like my idol, the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, who never made it past 5’1”. But she was unique — a force truly to be reckoned with, by reason of her intellect, her personality, and her determination. There aren’t many like her in this world, unfortunately.

So I will celebrate my day today, and wish a very happy National Short Girl Appreciation Day to all of my fellow “shorties.” We’ll take all the appreciation we can get. Right, ladies?

*. *. *

Oh, and before I forget: For all of you vertically-challenged guys out there, don’t fret. Tomorrow is National Short Person Day.

Welcome to the club.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
12/21/24