Lurking deep in the frigid waters of the North Atlantic and Arctic Oceans is a family of Somniosidae (“sleeper sharks”) known as the Greenland shark, renowned not only for their size (as long as 21 feet and weighing over 2,200 pounds), but for their longevity as well.

These monsters have the longest lifespan of any known vertebrate, estimated at anywhere between 250 and 500 years. They reach sexual maturity at around 150 years of age (no comment), and give live birth to pups after an estimated . . . holy crap! . . . eight- to eighteen-year gestation period.

Their flesh is toxic to mammals, so they are obviously considered inedible . . . although a treated form of it is eaten as a delicacy in Iceland. (My advice: be very careful what you order for dinner when visiting Reykjavik.)

The Greenland shark eats anything, including carrion, so it does serve a useful purpose in the undersea ecosystem. But other than that, you may ask what it’s good for. And there is an answer to that.

An international team of scientists has become the first to map the Greenland shark’s genome, sequencing about 92% of its DNA. Dr. Steve Hoffman, senior author of new research on the Greenland shark at Germany’s Leibniz Institute on Aging, has said:

“To this end, this genome is some kind of a tool, if you will, that allows us, and of course also other researchers, to look into these molecular mechanisms of longevity.” [Taylor Nicioli, CNN, December 13, 2024.]

And as a result of these studies, the authors of the report have posited that they could also gain further insight into the means of extending the human lifespan.

Well, isn’t that special!

Of course, they’re not suggesting we humans might soon be living as long as 250 to 500 years . . . nor, apparently, have they thus far addressed the issue of quality of life over any extended period. But my question is this:

With the world in the shape that it’s in, and the mess we’ve already made of it — politically, socially, and environmentally — who in their right mind would want to live that long?

Especially if you have to wait 150 years to reach sexual maturity, and then be pregnant for a minimum of eight years.

Not I, thank you. Life’s enough of a challenge as it is.

The sharks can have whatever is left of it.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
12/14/24