We’ve all reached that point, at one time or another, when we’re tired of the same old summer vacation spots: the cottage at the beach, the cabin in the mountains, the road trip, the Caribbean cruise. They’re all lovely, but sometimes we just need a change . . . an adventure.

So you start actually looking at those travel brochures you’ve been throwing away as soon as you pulled them out of the mailbox, and begin seriously contemplating . . . let’s see now . . . there’s a restaurant tour of Italy, a two-week African safari, or a visit to an Arctic underground hotel carved out of solid ice.

Actually, I’d love to do any one of those. But this week I found what I think is the one vacation spot that none of your friends will be able to outdo. Imagine their faces when you tell them you’ve booked a week in a yurt camp at Karakum, on the edge of Turkmenistan’s Flaming Gates of Hell.

“Where??!!!”

You heard me: the freakin’ . . . excuse me, flaming . . . Gates of Hell.

They’ll never believe you. And why should they? After all, who in their right mind would even consider . . . ?

Well, apparently quite a few people do. Because there are now three such yurt camps in the remote part of the Karakum Desert that is home to this oversized barbecue pit known as the Darvaza Gas Crater — a phenomenon created more than 50 years ago by a Soviet exploratory team that was drilling for natural gas when they set off a chain reaction resulting in a gigantic, fiery hole measuring about 230 feet wide and 100 feet deep. [Joe Yogerst, CNN, August 30, 2024.]

Leave it to the Russians . . . right? Go big, or go home.

Author Ged Gillmore wrote about it that “It’s a collapsed gas cave, which sounds about as interesting as an old gas oven. But there’s this eeriness about it, and I actually found it quite creepy.” [Ged Gillmore, Stans By Me: A Whirlwind Tour Through Central Asia, 2019.]

And it has become quite the tourist attraction. But you’d better hurry if you’re interested in visiting, because it may not be around much longer. The Turkmenistan government is considering the possibility of somehow sealing it, and even now repeat visitors say the flames are much smaller than they once were . . . one travel guide estimating that it’s only burning at around 40% of its 2009 level. [CNN, op.cit.]

So if you’re ready to book your stay, here’s one of the accommodations you might consider — if you enjoy sleeping on a pallet on the dirt floor. As I said, it is different.

And lest you think Turkmenistan is a one-attraction country, there are other things to see once you’ve had your fill of the gassy fumes. They also have a national holiday, sometime in April, in honor of their “wolf-crusher” dogs (bred and trained to guard sheep from predators such as wolves, and also to protect their people — presumably from other people).

Now, I’m a dog lover, but that description makes me hesitate. Still, look at that sweet face.

And if you’re looking for some time in the city, there’s always the capital, Ashgabat. Judging from this picture (featuring the larger-than-life golden statue of the beloved Wolf-Crusher itself), it looks like something out of an Ayn Rand novel. But though appearing quite modern, don’t expect it to be anything like New York, or Paris, or Tokyo. Despite having been independent since the 1991 breakup of the Soviet Union, Turkmenistan’s government is still a repressive totalitarian regime.

What’s that you say? A little bit scary?

Well, I did warn you that it would be an adventure, didn’t I?

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
9/1/24