That’s TIME, as in the magazine and online news medium. And they are — if not literally, then at least academically — killing me. With this:

No, it’s not the photo . . . although, admittedly, that face is usually enough to bring about the second appearance of my breakfast. But not this time.

This time, TIME stopped me dead with the header:

“Trump Responds to Tim Walz Calling He and J.D. Vance ‘Weird’”

Look at that again. Read it aloud, and listen to how it sounds. “Calling he . . .”

“What the hell is that??!!!

Do you call “she” to breakfast? Do you call “he” on the phone? Do you call “they” a bunch of idiots? Well, hopefully not. And, for those of you who have been victims of our current educational system — which doesn’t seem to teach grammar, simple arithmetic, or how to read an analog clock — I will try to explain why.

Because the various forms of the verb “to call” — call, called, calling — are what are referred to as transitive verbs, meaning that they take an object. And that means that they are followed by a noun or pronoun; if you “call,” you must call someone or something. (Unless you’re just calling into the void, I suppose.)

Now, nouns are simple. But pronouns have different forms, depending on whether they are subjective or objective. “She” is a subject; “her” is an object. (No, not an object of desire — let’s stick with grammar here and keep our minds out of the more interesting places.) So “she” went to the store; but you called “her” for dinner. “She” is the subject of the sentence; “her” is the object of the verb “called.” And the same applies, of course, to “he/him,” “they/them,” and “we/us.”

Oh, crap! I’ve lost you already. And I haven’t even gotten around to the proper use of the apostrophe.

Well, never mind. My grammar gripe today isn’t with the public in general; it’s with the writers and editors of TIME and other respected news media who, if anyone, should know the difference. You’re supposed to be educated people, role models. What are you — 12 years old? Buy yourselves a copy of “English Grammar for Dummies,” please! Or hire someone over 50 who actually had a decent elementary-school education.

Hire me, for God’s sake!

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
8/12/24