I read a comment on Facebook yesterday in response to an adorable baby picture, wherein the commenter said she just wanted to “give his face a little pinch.” And while I wholeheartedly agreed with her — the baby is positively precious — I had to wonder:

How do babies feel when you do that?

Maybe some of them are okay with it, until the umpteenth person comes along to grab their face, and then it’s more like . . .

Seriously, why do we think babies and small children don’t have feelings? How would you like it if some stranger were constantly touching, stroking, pinching, poking . . . Well, maybe I should rephrase that. Or withdraw it completely. I really don’t know your individual proclivities.

But as a baby, you don’t know who all these big people are, or what they want. It must be scary when they come charging at you, going “Itchy kitchy coo,” or whatever mumbo-jumbo they’re uttering, and start tickling your belly or — oh, for God’s sake! — kissing your naked, freshly-powdered bottom and telling you how sweet you smell. I mean, it’s not like when Mommy and Daddy do it. At least you know them! Maybe a well-timed poop would teach those strangers a lesson.

And you’d think it would stop when you got a little bit bigger, like two or three, and those people know they’d be locked up if they tried to get at your naked bottom. So they switch gears and aim for your head: tweaking your nose, or your ears, or playing with your hair.

Now, dogs are another matter. They love being touched, stroked, rubbed, scratched . . . anything to connect them with a human being. They can’t get enough of that stuff. So perhaps, if you have an unquenchable desire to touch someone, go get yourself a sweet little puppy and cuddle the hell out of it. It will be your loving companion for life.

In fact, it won’t leave you alone, until finally one day you’ll understand how those poor babies must have felt.

Now, that’s true love.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
8/9/24