They may look as snug as the proverbial two peas in a pod (if you’ll pardon the mixing of the metaphors) . . .

But lyricist Dorothy Fields might easily have been thinking of this couple when she wrote the words to Jerome Kern’s music nearly a hundred years ago:

“A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend, this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you’re as cold as yesterday’s mashed potatoes
A fine romance, you won’t nestle
A fine romance, you won’t wrestle
I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts
I haven’t got a chance
This is a fine romance.”
– Dorothy Fields & Jerome Kern – 1936

Because neither of these two . . . well, never mind the descriptors . . . neither of them can be trusted any farther than I could toss them. But they are two of a kind, and so they seem to have forged some sort of friendship — or at least an alliance of political convenience. And this is why I find myself wondering about the story behind the story in a case that has all the earmarks of a Putin-inspired scheme.

*. *. *

His name is Rico Krieger. He is a German citizen, aged 29, an emergency medical technician who worked for the German Red Cross and as an armed security officer for the U.S. Embassy in Berlin. And now he stands sentenced to death in Belarus, convicted under six counts of that country’s Criminal Code:

– “mercenary activity”
– “agent activity”
– “act of terrorism”
– “creation of an extremist formation”
– “intentional disrepair of a vehicle or communication lines”
– “illegal actions in relation to firearms, ammunition and explosives”

Viasna, a Belarusian human rights group, also reported that he had been found guilty of “arranging an explosion in order to influence decision-making by authorities, intimidate the population, [and] destabilize public order.” There has been no clarification as to the background of the alleged crimes, when they are supposed to have occurred, or what supporting evidence was presented against Mr. Krieger. [Eve Brennan, Svitlana Vlasova and Inke Kappeler, CNN, July 20, 2024.]

But he has been declared guilty, and sentenced to death.

Death. Not 15, or 20, or even 25 years in prison, as in the most severe cases of alleged espionage brought against foreigners (mostly American) in Russia. But the ultimate penalty, from which there is no return. It was Mr. Krieger’s great misfortune to have been arrested in the only country in Europe that continues to allow the death penalty. The method is a single shot to the back of the head.

Calling the death penalty a “cruel and inhumane form of punishment that Germany rejects under all circumstances,” a spokesperson from the German Foreign Office told CNN: “The Federal Foreign Office and the Embassy in Minsk are providing consular support to the individual concerned and are working intensively on his behalf with the Belarusian authorities.” [CNN, id.]

The Belarusian Foreign Ministry’s spokesman, Anatoly Glaz, said in a statement on X that Minsk has “proposed a number of options [to Germany] for the development of the situation. There have been contacts with the German side on this topic, of course. This criminal is a German citizen and we understand the German side’s concern for him . . . Consultations on this topic are being held by the foreign ministries of the two countries.” [Id.]

*. *. *

So why do I think this smells like a setup leading to an eventual prisoner swap? And why with Germany? Are there any Belarusians currently being held in German prisons that might be wanted back home?

Probably not . . . or none that I’ve been able to find mention of. But wouldn’t Lukashenko’s friend and mentor, Vladimir Putin, be beholden to Lukashenko if he were to succeed in engineering the release of a certain Russian FSB Colonel, Vadim Krasikov, from the German prison where he is serving a life sentence for the brazen daytime assassination in Berlin of Chechen dissident Zelimkhan Khangoshvili in 2019 — a killing-for-hire laid directly at the doorstep of the aforesaid Mr. Putin?

You bet he would! Because Putin has been hinting — and none too subtly — that the return of Krasikov might even be worth an exchange for none other than American journalist Evan Gershkovich . . . and possibly even former U.S. Marine Paul Whelan.

The problem has been that swapping an American (or two) for a Russian prisoner being held in a third country — in this case, Germany — is complicated. What does that third country stand to gain for its largesse? A gold star for being the good guys, sure. But we’re talking international politics here, and it’s just not that simple.

So maybe the answer was easier than anyone — anyone but Aleksandr Lukashenko, that is — had imagined. Just snatch a German citizen, and . . . voila! Problem solved.

Or perhaps it was Putin’s idea in the first place.

And there is yet another possibility: I might be over-thinking the whole thing. It’s certainly been known to happen. But I’ve always gone with my gut, and over the years, my gut has seldom let me down.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
7/22/24