I may be getting a bit ahead of myself here, because I’m not quite through with my current life yet and I’m already looking ahead to the next one . . . assuming there is a next one. But in the same sense that so many of us — and you know who you are — fantasize about what we would do with that half-billion-dollar lottery jackpot we don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever winning, I’ve been picturing the new, improved me when I come back for the next earthly go-round . . . as though I’d have any more choice in that one than I had in the last one. But a girl can dream.

And, of course, it all starts with the outer shell:

Not a bad shell, don’t you agree? Haven’t you always wanted to walk into a room filled with smart, successful, beautifully-dressed people and have everyone and everything — the party-goers, the orchestra, the waiters — stop dead in their tracks and fall completely silent, all eyes on you as you glide gracefully toward your host, wrapped in an aura of such magnificence . . .

(Deep sigh.)

Yes, I know: that’s a Grace Kelly movie, complete with designer gown, professional hairdo and makeup, Tiffany jewels, and a script to ensure she says exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. But look at her! That was her real life, too. She was an honest-to-God princess! Of Monaco! And originally from a wealthy, high-society Philadelphia family, taught from birth to use all the right silverware, eat without slurping, and speak with the most well-rounded vowels; educated at the “right” schools; introduced to all the “right” people. Always so damned sure of herself because she was as close to perfect as any human being could be. Who wouldn’t want to be her??!!!

But on second thought, maybe she was a little too perfect, too cool, calm and collected. And who really wants to live in a royal bubble, with its restrictions and constant scrutiny? I’m not sure I would. I need to be free to be me . . . whoever that is.

So, moving on . . .

*. *. *

Still going for the outer beauty, but this time with an inner mischievous side, maybe even a little quirkiness. Audrey Hepburn had a more exciting early life: born to an aristocratic family in Belgium, fled with her mother (her father having left the family) to the Netherlands at the start of World War II, which turned out not to be the safest choice. As a student of ballet, she gave performances to benefit the Dutch Resistance, and nearly died of malnutrition as a result of the wartime food shortages. But she was a fighter; she survived, and after the War she embarked on an acting career that brought her the fame for which we all know her.

My life needs a bit of excitement, and the strength and courage to get through the perilous times. She had all of that, and more. She also had that outer beauty, and the charm, and the humor . . . and the most gorgeous eyes. Yes, a definite candidate for my next incarnation.

*. *. *

But . . .

Methinks I’ve been focusing too much on the external. I also want to leave this world a bit better than I found it, and just leaving behind some entertaining films isn’t what I had in mind. I want people throughout the world to say, “Oh, no! She can’t be gone!” when I leave this earthly realm yet again. So whom have I most admired during this lifetime? Who was brilliant, courageous, kind, determined, successful; had a wonderful marriage to her soulmate; and possessed a wry wit that always hit the mark without ever being cruel?

Well, how about a Supreme?

No, not those Supremes (although they did make great music). This one:

My idol. A woman who fought traditional gender roles from the very beginning, graduating from the prestigious Columbia Law School, climbing the professional ladder all the way up to — and right through — that glass ceiling to become an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, where she became the country’s foremost advocate for gender equality. She passed away in 2020, leaving the Supreme Court foundering to find its proper voice ever since.

That’s the kind of person I want to be next time around.

*. *. *

But wait — there’s more. Never completely satisfied — I want one last thing. I want this woman’s incomparable, unrestrained sense of humor, her talent, her innate goodness, and her ability to look at the world when it criticizes her and simply . . . give it the finger (or the horns).

I loved this woman, as did millions of others. Who wouldn’t love the best of the Golden Girls? She, too, left a big hole in our hearts when she passed away, just shy of her 100th birthday.

*. *. *

And if I thought I could possess the best qualities of any (or preferably all) of these amazing women in my next life, I would leave this one with a big, goofy smile plastered on my face. So I’m off to find someone to take my order now, while there’s still time. Wish me luck.

“Saint Peter? Can we talk?”

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
6/25/24