If you were to put Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Tucker Carlson in a locked, empty room together for a month, who do you think would be the last man standing?

Well, let’s look at them individually. Putin is unquestionably the smartest of the three, and probably the most physically fit. But Trump could live off of his accumulated fat the longest. And Carlson . . . I really don’t know anything about his physical condition, though he appears to be healthy, and he is the youngest.

Psychologically . . . well, that’s a whole different ballgame. You’ve got two narcissistic sociopaths and an idiot who would — and does — believe anything the other two tell him. The first two are already best buddies (for as long as it benefits them), so yeah, I think they’d gang up on Carlson, strangle him with Trump’s extra-long necktie, and — lacking a butcher knife and a source of heat — start gnawing on a raw drumstick as a last resort.

And then there were two.

Ironically, these are the two guys Tucker Carlson seems to admire most . . . so much so that he gave Vladimir Putin a worldwide stage for two hours of the most blatant, inaccurate, bullshit propaganda imaginable. And he seems to be proud of himself for having done it.

(Oh, by the way . . . Razzies also to Elon Musk for making your stupidly-named “X” available to them.)

Now, which of the remaining two would you prefer to survive? Yeah, I know . . . that’s like asking which presumptive U.S. presidential nominee you want to vote for. The smart answer seems to be “Neither of the above.” But which one would actually come out of that room victorious? I know who I think it would be. But you decide for yourselves . . . keeping in mind, of course, that either way, we’re screwed.

*. *. *

Seriously, I’m not suggesting we bring back the ancient Roman tradition of tossing our enemies into the ring with a few hungry lions. But I keep asking myself how two such miserable excuses for human beings . . . such total abominations . . . such plagues upon the face of the Earth . . . could have come to be in positions of power at the same point in time. Weren’t Stalin and Hitler enough of a lesson? How could we have let it happen . . . again? We, the voting public, did not create them; but we accepted them.

Now, what are we going to do about it? In the U.S., we can vote our consciences (those of us who have consciences) — assuming we can find a couple of qualified alternative candidates. In Russia, it’s not so easy — there are qualified people, but everyone who has ever tried to run against Putin has wound up disenfranchised, imprisoned, or dead. It’s a real conundrum.

Now, the third chap — this Tucker Carlson guy, who hasn’t actually been cannibalized, remember — is much easier to deal with. Just ignore him. Don’t give him a forum. Don’t click into his website, his YouTube channel, or whatever else he comes up with. Without an audience, he will eventually fade into obscurity like the nonentity he really is. Can we do that? Please??!!!

Then maybe I could get a decent night’s sleep.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
2/10/24