Many have tried to explain him; none have succeeded completely. He’s a Type A personality; workaholic; genius; lunatic; devoted family man; tyrant; visionary; dreamer; success. He is — as Sir Winston Churchill famously said about an entire country (Russia) — “a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.”

He is, of course, Elon Musk. So handsome. So brilliant. So enigmatic. So rich and powerful.

“So what?” Well, for one thing, so he can do just about anything he may dream up in his wildest fantasies . . . and some of them have been pretty wild. Yet he manages to accomplish most of them, or at least come close. Think about Tesla. And SpaceX. And taking over Twitter, firing 80% of its employees, changing the name to “X,” and . . . well, not every undertaking can be a roaring success, even for him.

Now he’s started Neuralink, which involves some sort of AI chip to be implanted in the brain so that our thoughts will be able to control such things as computers and prosthetic limbs. The goal sounds worthy, especially if you’re an amputee. But from my pessimistic point of view, I’m seeing too many opportunities for misuse by evil Dr. Frankensteins (or is that Drs. Frankenstein?) . . . Sorry . . . grammar is my life.

And there’s the one project that must surely be his favorite, in view of his lifelong fascination with flight and space travel: SpaceX — his plan to colonize Mars, working in concert with NASA. I’m sure I won’t live long enough to see that one become reality . . . and I’m not at all certain I want to!

But he must surely be more than a little annoyed at NASA’s current mission: an unmanned Vulcan Centaur rocket, on its way to the moon, as the result of a joint venture with Boeing and Lockheed Martin. And I see no mention of Elon Musk, SpaceX, or anyone associated with him being involved in any way. Surely, that must be an oversight. But no . . . the rocket, nicknamed “Peregrine” after the falcon that is the fastest-flying bird in the world, was developed by a company called Astrobotic Technology under a contract with NASA. And Elon Musk is not associated with Astrobotic . . . except that in 2011, SpaceX did enter into a contract to develop with Astrobotic a Falcon 9 launch of a lunar North Pole mission. However, the launch never happened, so that doesn’t count. But it sounds awfully similar.

Anyway, this current NASA/Astrobotic mission seems as though it would have been tailor-made for Musk and his mighty mental meanderings . . . especially in view of the rather odd assortment of “baggage” being carried moonward, which would certainly appeal to his unconventional way of thinking. But he’s been left out in the cold, for whatever reason, most likely thinking that he could have done a better job than those Astrobotic people.

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But never mind Elon; I’m much more interested in the mission itself, and its very varied payload. There are, of course, several (actually, five) of NASA’s science experiments aboard . . . for which NASA paid Astrobotic an astronomical (pun intended) $108 million toward development of their metallic space bird. And there are fifteen more items from a variety of customers, including “additional science payloads from nations such as Mexico,” and “a robotics experiment from a private UK-based company and trinkets or mementos that the German shipping company DHL put together.” [Jackie Wattles, CNN, Jan. 8, 2024.]

Only one item, however, really caught my attention. Assuming that you will also see the significance of this forward-looking service to humanity, as well as the legitimacy of the Navajo Nation’s issue with it, I will quote the entire paragraph (again from the CNN article):

“Peregrine is also carrying human remains on behalf of two commercial space burial companies — Elysium Space and Celestis — a move that’s sparked opposition from Navajo Nation, the largest group of native Americans in the United States. The group contends that allowing the remains to touch down on the lunar surface would be an affront to many indigenous cultures, which regard the moon as sacred. Celestis offers to carry ashes to the moon for prices starting at more than $10,000, according to the company’s website.”

Actually, considering the cost of the average traditional funeral today, that price doesn’t sound so bad — especially since it includes some rather hefty transportation fees. And you don’t have to deal with choosing an appropriate burial plot, coffin, flowers, or an outfit for the dearly departed to wear on the journey to the hereafter. I’m assuming your choice of space burial company will be a one-stop shop that will provide a lovely urn and a private cubicle in a luxury columbarium (not to be confused with a condominium) in a choice neighborhood on the moon.

I also assume someone will have figured out the whole gravity issue. But that’s not my problem — let my family and friends worry about it when they come to pay their respects every year on the anniversary of my demise.

Just beam me up when the time comes, Scotty.

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Update: “US Moon mission has no chance of soft lunar landing.” [BBC, Science & Environment, Jan. 9, 2024.]

Oh-oh! That was the headline of a report by Astrobotic telling the world that the Peregrine lunar lander has sustained a fuel leak. At 17:00 GMT (12:00 noon EST) on Tuesday, it was expected to run out of fuel in about 40 hours.

According to the report, “Peregrine ran into trouble almost as soon as it came off the top of its launch rocket on Monday. ‘Given the propellant leak, there is, unfortunately, no chance of a soft landing on the Moon,’ Astrobotic said in a statement posted on X, formerly Twitter.”

Ah, the irony! That Elon Musk’s social media platform, now known simply as X, should have been the vehicle for the report of a failure that might have been prevented — though, of course, we’ll never know for sure — if Musk’s other company, SpaceX, had been involved in the project from the get-go. Don’t gloat, Elon . . . it’s not gentlemanly.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
1/10/24