I’m sorry, folks, but after searching Saturday’s news for something — anything — that might be amusing, or at least wouldn’t send everyone running for a place to hide, this is the best I could come up with: a box of giraffe poop seized from an arriving passenger at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. Her answer to the obvious question: because she wanted to make a necklace out of it. Presumably to be worn, either by herself or some lucky recipient. Poop. Giraffe poop. Excrement. Feces. From Kenya. Big, round chunks of the stuff. See for yourselves . . .

Now, apparently it is legal to bring this . . . uh . . . product into the country, but only with a proper veterinary license. Though why even a veterinarian would need it, is beyond me. In any event, this lady says she has made jewelry creations in the past from moose poop (I assume from local animals, not imported), and was undoubtedly excited at the prospect of branching out to some more exotic species, such as a Kenyan giraffe. In her favor, she did list the item on her Customs declaration, and perhaps she simply didn’t know she needed a license. But she apparently also hadn’t done her research into the possible diseases carried by this . . . uh . . . product. Kenya is host to several types of swine fever, foot-and-mouth disease, and the like, and wearing a decorative item made of the . . . uh . . . baubles could prove disastrous. So, it’s lucky our Customs folks were on their toes — as, I assume, were the giraffes when they produced the . . . uh . . . stuff back home in Kenya.

I don’t believe the lady was charged with any crime or violation, since she had indeed declared her . . . uh . . . contraband. But I find myself wondering whether she shouldn’t be encouraged to seek counseling, and perhaps be guided toward a more traditional hobby. Soap-making comes immediately to mind.

*. *. *

In second place for fun item of the day would be the annual Fat Bear Week competition at Katmai National Park & Preserve in Alaska. These majestic creatures have spent the summer gorging on salmon (and whatever else they eat) to fatten themselves up in preparation for the long winter hibernation, when their sleeping bodies live off of the stored fat.

These big fellas apparently have names, like “Otis,” “Bear 747” (the reigning champ), and “32 Chunk,” and the competition is fierce. This year’s online contest, though, was one of the government programs in danger of being cancelled if Congress hadn’t been able to push through a stopgap funding deal. Thank goodness it was saved in time!

For all you bear-lovers out there, the voting opened at noon (Eastern time) on Wednesday, and will conclude on October 10th. Last year, there were more than a million votes cast, so it’s not some rinky-dink little contest. Check it out and cast your vote at http://www.fatbearweek.org. Good luck to all of our beautiful contestants, and sweet dreams until spring.

TTFN,
Brendochka
10/7/23