“They’re ba-a-a-ack!”

You may have noticed a recent resurgence in the attention being given the phenomena formerly known as UFOs, now being called UAPs (Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena) by the U.S. Government. There are a number of UFOlogists — “UAPologist” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, and it sounds as though you’re saying you’re sorry for something — who are demanding that the Government reveal what it does or does not know about past and recent sightings, and even possible landings and captures, of our distant neighbors from another world.

In all honesty, I have very ambivalent feelings on this subject. On the one hand, I’m as curious as the next person. On the other, there is the perfectly natural fear of the unknown. Consider, for example, that funny-looking brown spot on your shoulder that you know you should have biopsied and diagnosed. Or the new guy next door with the long hair and bushy beard, who always wears a hoodie and rides a Harley, that you should probably meet but what if he turns out to be a serial killer? Or Bigfoot — that’s something you’re not sure you ever want to know about. And the new “smart” microwave with all the buttons you can’t decipher that just might explode and blast you with deadly rays if you touch the wrong one. They all make you nervous because you don’t know what they really are or what they might do.

But do we want to live like that forever? Fear is disabling; but knowledge is power. Don’t you honestly want to know the truth? I do . . . I think.

Anyway, go make that appointment with the dermatologist, pull out the owner’s manual for the microwave, and let’s get on to considering the possibilities insofar as these UAPs are concerned. First, if they’re so advanced they can reach our atmosphere, and if they are indeed hostile, wouldn’t they have attacked long before now? I should think so . . . or at least I hope this means they won’t be landing in my yard tonight.

So let’s assume they’re friendly. Why would we take it for granted that they speak any of our Earthly languages: English, German, Chinese, Swahili, whatever? They may be brilliant scientists and engineers, but still unable to figure out which of our languages they should decipher. Maybe we should learn Martian, or Venusian, or whatever they speak.

Or maybe — and here’s a disturbing possibility — maybe they’ve checked us out over a long period of time and come to the conclusion that we simply aren’t the kind of people they want to know. I mean, let’s face it, folks: our world is seriously screwed up, and it seems to get worse and worse as time goes on. Maybe these very accomplished extraterrestrials are peaceable, anti-violence, anti-war types who took one look (or several) at our ongoing wars, our soaring crime rates, our domestic and international political issues, our environmental and infrastructure problems, our mass shootings, racism, far-right and far-left anger and hatred . . . and our inability to solve even one of those problems . . . and said to themselves (in whatever language): “Hell, no!” and decided that we’re beyond saving. And if our Government already knows this, perhaps they just don’t know how to break it to the rest of us.

So maybe that’s the real reason E.T. keeps trying to phone home. And who can blame him?

If Uncle Sam does know something, I’d appreciate his sharing it with us. Maybe. It all depends . . . is it good news or bad? Should we be afraid? Okay, I don’t really want . . . Oh, hell! I don’t know. Should they tell us? What do you think?

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
9/21/23