When I became a Mom for the first time, I promised myself and my beautiful baby boy — who obviously couldn’t have cared less at that point — that I would always keep up with the changing times, and not be one of those old fuddy-duddies who couldn’t let go of the past. And for many years I kept that promise.

But no one ever warned me that the world was going to change at warp speed, or that technology was going to evolve at a pace, and to a level, that my brain simply wasn’t capable of matching. My children’s school lessons lost me at something called New Math. And while I once spent Christmas Eve, after the kids were asleep, putting together my son’s first two-wheeler for Santa to deliver, I am immensely grateful that I never had to top that performance with a multi-speed bike complete with cardio-tracking.

So now, sad to say, I am that old fuddy-duddy. Oh, I learned how to use an eight-track, a cassette player, a CD player, a VCR, a DVD player, a computer, and an iPhone, all right — at least well enough to survive. I’ve even pumped my own gas, and I can change the ink cartridge in my laser printer. But that doesn’t mean I love doing it. I have kept up, to the limit of my abilities; but I fear I will never be able to follow the wave of the future any farther. Artificial Intelligence terrifies me. Hell, I can’t even understand the objective of Dungeons & Dragons!

I’m still baffled by some of the household devices that are already or nearly obsolete. I want to know how my iPad and iPhone know what I’m going to type before I’ve even made up my own mind. And those cute little drone things flying above our heads? Scary as s**t!

There are, of course, many modern developments I wouldn’t trade for anything: medical advances, on-the-spot news reporting, real-time weather forecasting, GPS, UPS, and Amazon, to name just a few.

But do you know what I really miss from the not-so-distant past? Clocks with hands. Stoves with on/off knobs. Home phones with long cords and real buttons instead of touch pads. Full-service gas stations. Full-service anything! Having my phone calls answered by live people instead of machines. Jeans that aren’t ripped. Slow-cooked food. Sit-down family dinners. Elegant clothes. Airlines that get you there safely, on time, and with your luggage. Common courtesy, concern, and consideration.

So call me old-fashioned; call me anything you like. There’s a reason for the popularity of “retro” — some things are just worth keeping or bringing back. And simply because you have a wonderful new toy, you shouldn’t feel compelled to get rid of your favorite old one. Your past is what made you who you are today. Don’t be stuck in it; but remember it, cherish it, and honor it. And if your kids think you’re an old fuddy-duddy, so what? Just remind them that tempus fugit, and they’ll be fuddy-duddies too, before they know it. Paybacks are hell.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
8/14/23