Apparently, a lot. And I’m not referring to the sweet smell of a rose by any other name. I’m talking about the value of name recognition.

Last week’s news included blurbs on such diverse subjects as King Henry VIII’s doodles, King Charles III’s childhood drawings, a very pricey pair of sneakers, and tattoos of the works of Rembrandt. Fascinating stuff.

Let’s start with the imposing figure below:

Henry VIII was not the 16th Century’s Mr. Congeniality. He treated his wives, his servants, and his British subjects with equal ferocity — though from all appearances, he spared himself no luxury . . . or food. He is said to have suffered numerous illnesses, however, and seems to have agonized greatly over those. His thoughts on that subject now appear in annotations, or doodles, recently discovered in the margins of his copy of a prayer book titled Psalms or Prayers.

It was apparently not the same book, but in 2016, another prayer book belonging to old Hank the Horrible — presumably without doodles — was expected to sell at auction for around 2.5 million British pounds. So if you’re famous as a mass murderer, and Herman’s Hermits have recorded a song about you (remember “I’m Henry the Eighth, I Am”?) — well, then, apparently your scribbles can really bring in the big bucks.

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, I guess it would be that those adults were wrong who told us never to write in books, and that we should start scribbling away now . . . just in case we ever become famous. But hopefully not by killing off our wives/husbands for the notoriety — or any other reason.

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The decked-out lady above is the late Queen Elizabeth II . . . as seen through the eyes, and the crayons, of her son, the present King Charles III, when he was just five- or six-year-old Prince Charles. Happily, his skills as an artist seem to have improved greatly since that time. But this sweet little work, along with another pencil drawing of “Papa,” will soon be put up for auction, expected to fetch between $6,500 and $12,700 apiece. (It appears that they were only of sentimental value to “Mummy” and “Papa,” and not to the artist himself; but hopefully, the proceeds will go to one of Charles’ many charities.)

Damn! Why didn’t I save all those little drawings that graced my refrigerator when my kids were small? Oh, right — we’re not royalty. Double damn.

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Did you know that in the mid-1990s, Apple (yes, that Apple) briefly veered from its exclusive focus on technology and commissioned a custom-produced, one-time-only line of white trainers, complete with the rainbow Apple logo on the tongue and side, to be given away to their employees at a national sales conference? Or that one pair — the one shown above — slipped through the cracks and was never distributed, or worn?

Well, it’s true. And that pair — size 10.5, for anyone with big feet and some extra cash hanging around — is being sold by Sotheby’s for the bargain price of $50,000. “Why so much?” — you may ask. I’m sorry, but I have no answer for that. It’s even more of a mystery than King Charles’ childhood art.

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But do not despair if you can’t afford the sneakers. For you may instead own a priceless masterpiece, and for as little as $109. At the Rembrandt House Museum in Amsterdam, there is a pop-up tattoo parlor, where tattoo artists will ink replicas of Rembrandt’s work on visitors. So if you’d like to prove to your friends that you are a true art lover, and that you actually own one of his masterpieces, just roll up your sleeve or pants leg and sit a while. But first remember to scrape together the cost of a trip to The Netherlands, which I understand is magnificent in the spring. I think this one might actually be worth the price.

Just sayin’ . . .

Brendochka
8/2/23